


Sweetsilversub

by phlintandsteel



Series: No Pain Healthy D/s Verse [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aftercare, Bondage, By popular demand, Communication, Confessions, D/s, Demisexuality, Dom/sub, Dominance, Dominance/submission, Dressing, Epilogue, Hair Brushing, Hand Feeding, I had way too much fun writing the chat logs, ISU banquets will never be the same, Kissing, M/M, Make up sex, Marking, Mild Angst, More Bondage, Nail Painting, Online Chats, Online Friends, Submission, The Big Reveal, Victor does something completely reckless, Victor doesn't like his job anymore, Victor fucks up, Victor has a slight exhibitionist streak, Victor is in Love, Victor is in this for the long haul y'all, Victor loves/respects Yuuri but he is still thirsty af, Yuuri accepts all challengers, Yuuri gets his own spit take, Yuuri is depressed, Yuuri remembers a previous life lesson, also known as canon, and a Yuuri kink, and a tie kink, and i am GOING THERE, banquet references, boys talking out their feelings, chat log OC's, free dance class ;), how the hell do I tag this ch, i think you can tell where i'm going with this from that, it's not mistaken identity if you don't identify yourself at all, like seriously they raise their voices a bit and that's pretty much it, oh yeah i love those, online anonymity, places people, reactions, starting to earn that E rating, tags to be updated as I go, testing testing 1 2 3, the engagement, the funeral - Freeform, the kink talk, the kiss heard 'round the world, the tie kink has escalated, this is not a drill, we feel ya Vitya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-09-25 11:42:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 71,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9818900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phlintandsteel/pseuds/phlintandsteel
Summary: When Katsuki Yuuri thinks about his life, he feels like maybe it should have the subtitle 'A Study In Contradictions' after it.  As he grows and learns more about himself though, he decides he's willing to acknowledge that being a 'Work In Progress' is ok too.Even if he struggles with uniting the 'online' and 'in real life' portions of himself, at least he's got friends in both places who are willing to stick by him while he works shit out.  And maybe more than friends, if the look in Victor's eyes is anything to go by...  How did this become his life!!?!?[A/N: Yuuri only seems to have a dismal online presence because he spends his time in places Phichit doesn't know about.  This is basically Victor supporting Yuuri LONG before Yuuri realizes it, and Yuuri dominating Victor in a much more in-your-face way than the show delves into.  If that's even possible.][P.S. A/N: THERE WILL BE TIE KINK.  So much tie kink once they get going.  You have been warned]





	1. Well you're not what I was looking for...

**Author's Note:**

> If you're looking for a sex-heavy pain fest, this IS NOT IT! If you want boys working through their emotions and D/s relationships that don't revolve around sex right from the get-go, then you've come to the right place! ;)  
> Healthy relationships for everyone!  
> ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:* \\(◕‿◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

_Sweetsilversub: Online since 2009_

 

Victor, who was only 20 at the time, was thinking of the color of his hair when he originally made the account. Although people kept mistaking him for a 'mature' submissive in the 50+ crowd, he didn't change it... The accidental misdirection was actually great for someone whose real identity could _never_ be revealed. As he went along he discovered he didn't mind, since the bratty young subs and doms usually steered clear of him. He wasn't looking for drama or a hook up. He just wanted to feel like he was part of the community, like he was real, even though he doubted he'd ever be able to experience it in his day to day life.

Thankfully he lived in the age of the internet, because realizing these submissive traits in himself had been difficult enough _with_ it. He couldn't imagine being born 100 years ago and going his whole life with no explanation or way to validate himself. The information he'd found online was like a parting of the clouds, like angelic choirs and sunlight streaming down on him for the first time in so long.

With Victor, the desire to please ran _deep_. Every profile he took ended up pegging him as a 'service' sub or some close variation. It made him an excellent athlete in a way, because he always strove to land that jump, tighten his spin, and gracefully glide like his coach wanted. He genuinely _wanted_ to do everything that was asked of him perfectly. Not that he didn't love figure skating on his own. It was just that it was his only outlet.

Nobody praised him unless it was for a perfectly executed routine. So he executed every routine perfectly. But because he was so perfect all the time, people began to _expect_ perfection, and it was no longer praiseworthy when he delivered it. Victor began to fall into a trap of his own making, but he was helpless to stop it. By the time he turned 27, it felt like he was just circling endlessly, unable to tell up from down half the time.

The worst part was that he could see it happening. He was certainly self-aware enough to realize that he wasn't _actually_ satisfying that bone deep submissive part of himself by upholding his fan's expectations. But he didn't know what to _do_ about it. Start meeting up with strangers from the internet and taking his chances? No. Victor wasn't desperate. He really wasn't even depressed per se. Just kind of...at a loss.

His life was far from a sob story though, even for all his fulfillment issues. He was generally a happy and affectionate person, even if he didn't get to display it in the ways he truly wanted. He was rich and fairly famous, at least in the figure skating world. And he had the internet. He had websites and chat forums and the very occasional role play. It was enough.

 

 

_Cherryblossomboy: Online since 2011_

 

Yuuri was given plenty of advice when starting university in America. Get your general education requirements out of the way first (his father). Don't leave your clothes unattended at the laundromat (his sister). Make sure to take proper care of your feet (Minako sensei). There was much more on top of that, but it was all along the same lines. It was actually a piece he received from a fellow foreign exchange student that ended up sticking with him the most.

“If you want to improve your slang knowledge, you should join a chat group or something online” Koruba recommended after the fifth time Yuuri asked him to decipher a turn of phrase. Even as pressed for time as Yuuri was between studies and skating, he could still see the wisdom of spending some of it to get more comfortable with the language. It was the first time he had ever understood so keenly the difference between textbook and real-world knowledge.

So he made a few accounts on American websites that seemed interesting, messaged a few people back and forth. His descriptions all read along the same lines, that he was a foreign exchange student just looking to improve his grasp on English. Most people were friendly and glad to extrapolate on things from “my bad” to “shizzle” for him. His entire first semester he only really had one bad experience interacting with his peers, and that was of course in person.

Yuuri didn't know it was going to be a bad experience when he agreed to go on the date. Morton had purple streaks in his hair, a caffeine _addiction_ , and didn't speak a word of Japanese. But he loved figure skating, and he was insistent. Yuuri had never gone on an actual, 100% _date_ before, and was a little thrown by his boldness.

Yuuri may or may not have made an actual squeaking sound when Morton pulled him down onto his bed after they walked back to the dorm.

“Hey, you don't have to be so submissive, it's ok” he urged, “take what you want too,” trailing kisses down his neck. Yuuri lay there kind of stunned, with an anxious feeling weighing down his limbs. He was jolted into action when Morton reached for his belt though.

“No” he said hesitantly, “No, I don't want...”

Morton pulled back with a raised eyebrow, as if he was speaking a different language. Yuuri knew he had used English though.

“No” he reiterated, shaking his head, moving the hands away from his crotch.

Morton leaned back and gave him a weird look, one even more disbelieving than the previous raised brow.

“You don't want to do it?” he asked incredulously.

“I... I don't even know you...” was the only explanation Yuuri could give.

 

Back in his own dorm room later, embarrassed and shaking with some unnamed emotion, Yuuri booted up his laptop, mostly on auto pilot. That was the first time he'd ever heard the word 'submissive' and he googled it almost haphazardly, as a distraction from thinking about the rest of the night. Yuuri's eyes got progressively wider the farther he scrolled down the page.

In his current state of mind, he went down to the first forum he found and made an account as a submissive. He stuck to his tried and true foreign exchange student description. He was always careful to avoid any truly personal detail when making these accounts, and being a student was vague and universal. There were quizzes and profiles available, but he bypassed those for the time being. It was the chat feature that drew him in the most.

 

_Cherryblossomboy: No. He stopped when I asked. I just wondered... It felt like he thought I was weird, to not want to?_

_Cherryblossomboy: Is that weird?_

_Sweetsilversub: That's good. You should take sexual assault seriously, cbb. It's too common a problem in our community, there are a lot of people who pose as doms but are in it for the wrong reasons! You have to watch out for yourself._

_Sweetsilversub: Also, sex and submission are two different things._

_Sweetsilversub: Do you mind if I ask, have you ever had sex?_

_Cherryblossomboy: No?_

_Cherryblossomboy: I mean, no I don't mind, like this._

_Cherryblossomboy: And no, I haven't._

_Sweetsilversub: That's perfectly fine. Not everybody wants to, you know. Some people never do._

_Sweetsilversub: It's not weird._

_Cherryblossomboy: I think I would want to, someday, with the right person?_

_Cherryblossomboy: But not a stranger._

 

 

By the end of the night Yuuri had been introduced to the idea of demisexuality, in addition to the world of dominance and submission. It made his head spin a little, how complex life could be... But it eased the nervous feeling in his chest significantly. There were other people out there who were like him, or who at least understood. If sex wasn't really on his radar, that was fine. He couldn't imagine wanting it with someone that he didn't trust and love completely. And right now he was focusing on his first love, the ice, anyway.

Over the months his use of other chat groups dwindled significantly. Yuuri had more friends online than in his classes, but that didn't bother him. He still didn't have a lot of free time, but when he did, unwinding and joking around in a chat group did wonders for his state of mind.

 

 

_Sweetsilversub: lol, maybe that's just me though... I may or may not have a slight exhibitionist streak? ;)_

_Tiemeup247: oh god, you would, wouldn't you?_

_Sweetsilversub: what can I say, I like the attention ;)_

_Cherryblossomboy: attention's ok, as long as it's the right kind._

_Sweetsilversub: true, true_

_Tiemeup247: I don't think I'd have the balls to go through with it_

_Cherryblossomboy: what if you were ordered to though?_

_Tiemeup247: I guess it would depend on the dom? How much I wanted to please them?..._

_Sweetsilversub: oh shit_

_Sweetsilversub: you did not just_

_Cherryblossomboy: what?_

_Tiemeup247:*blushes*_

_Sweetsilversub: are we experimenting here? Because I am down with that._

_Cherryblossomboy: omg_

_Cherryblossomboy: this is an open chat?_

_Tiemeup247:_ _*feints_

_Sweetsilversub: now look what you've done :P_

_Cherryblossomboy: it was an honest question?!?!?!_

_Tiemeup247: *dies_

_Cherryblossomboy: this is your fault 3s_

_Sweetsilversub: how dare I point out the obvious, so uncouth of me_

_Cherryblossomboy: they were the ones questioning their limits, I was just questioning with them???_

_Sweetsilversub: sometimes I wonder about you, cbb_

 

 

 

So, apparently being previously called submissive by an over-enthusiastic potential bed partner does not a submissive make. It took Yuuri years to come to the realization though. He didn't even question it at first, because he'd always been a quiet person. His first instinct wasn't to 'take control' of a situation, and he was just clinically diagnosed with _anxiety_ , for crying out loud.

It wasn't anything he'd told his friends online about, the diagnosis feeling too new, too raw. There's nothing new to him about dealing with those thoughts though, and what he now understood were panic attacks. But it's not a part of himself that he ever wanted people to find out about if he could help it. It's bad enough that his new roommate Phichit was privy to one so quickly after moving in. Thankfully he was nothing but understanding. Yuuri was pretty sure he spent the rest of the evening researching the condition on his phone, which was sweet... But that's neither here nor there.

With all the parts of his life that he keeps separate taken into account, thinking he's a dom is ridiculous.

 

 

_Sweetsilversub:whatdo you mean youve NEVER TAKEN THE PROFILE!!?!?_

_Sweetsilversub: this explains so much_

_Cherryblossomboy: explains what?_

_Cherryblossomboy: there's nothing dominant about me_

_Sweetsilversub: SO MUCH_

_Sweetsilversub: seriously, you have to admit you have your moments_

_Sweetsilversub: remember lusciouslex?_

_Cherryblossomboy: that was a miscommunication and you know it_

_Cherryblossomboy: and tht was like a year ago_

_Sweetsilversub: he thought you were a switch_

_Cherryblossomboy:???_

_Sweetsilversub: he pm'd me about it afterward_

_Cherryblossomboy: you never told me that_

_Sweetsilversub: you were sulking for a week, I didn't want to bring it up and draw out the drama once you finally came back._

_Cherryblossomboy: I had a thing at work, I wasn't sulking_

_Sweetsilversub: just, do yourself a favor, cbb, and take the profile quiz._

_Sweetsilversub:what can it hurt?_

_Sweetsilversub: just promise me you'll be honest with yourself_

_Cherryblossomboy: this is stupid_

_Cherryblossomboy: I'm too weak to be a dom_

_Sweetsilversub: excuse me?_

_Cherryblossomboy: what?_

_Sweetsilversub: is that how you think of subs?_

_Sweetsilversub: fuck you_

_Sweetsilversub: how dare you_

_Cherryblossomboy: I didn't mean it like that!_

_Sweetsilversub: I am not weak_

_Sweetsilversub: I'm not less_

_Cherryblossomboy: I don't think you're weak, you know I don't! You're amazing and supportive and kind!_

_Sweetsilversub: But that's what you implied_

_Sweetsilversub: that you can only be a dom if you're “strong”_

_Sweetsilversub: so what does that make the rest of us?_

_Sweetsilversub: you don't get to say something like that and then think I won't be insulted_

_Cherryblossomboy: I didn't mean to insult you, i'm so sorry_

_Sweetsilversub: I know you didn't, but i'm still insulted_

_Sweetsilversub: because you only meant to put yourself down, right?_

_Sweetsilversub: that's not ok_

_Cherryblossomboy: but it's true, for me._

_Cherryblossomboy: I am weak_

_Sweetsilversub: no, you're not_

_Sweetsilversub: I don't think you're weak_

_Sweetsilversub: you called me amazing and supportive and kind, and I see the same thing from you on this site all the time._

_Cherryblossomboy: you don't know everything about me_

_Sweetsilversub: you're right, I don't._

_Sweetsilversub: but I know what i've seen here, what i've learned from talking to you for YEARS, and I don't think you're weak_

_Sweetsilversub: insecure, yes_

_Sweetsilversub:omg are you so insecure_

_Sweetsilversub: but not weak_

_Cherryblossomboy: we may have to agree to disagree on that_

_Sweetsilversub: *sighs_

_Cherryblossomboy: I mean, I am insecure too, with certain things, you're right about that_

_Sweetsilversub: OMG just take the fucking profile_

_Sweetsilversub: I will hold your hand for you while you do it_

_Cherryblossomboy: fine, if it will get you off my back about it_

_Sweetsilversub: *holds your hand_

_Cherryblossomboy: jfc_

_Sweetsilversub:lol_

_Sweetsilversub: you can't stay mad at me XD_

_Cherryblossomboy: if you use XD again I am unfriending you_

_Sweetsilversub: so mean!_

_Cherryblossomboy: um, wow, these questions don't hold anything back, do they???_

_Sweetsilversub: hehehe_

_Sweetsilversub: remember!_

_Sweetsilversub: be honest WITH YOURSELF_

_Cherryblossomboy: this is so embarrassing_

_Sweetsilversub: it's embarrassing that you've been on this site for 3 YEARS and never taken it_

 

 

 

It takes a lot of introspection, and multiple pep talks from Yuuri's friends online for him to deal with the results. Sweetsilversub puts him in touch with another user there who went through a similar situation, 90degreedom, and Yuuri maybe neglects sleeping and bathing and an assignment or two in favor of his existential crisis.

He has dominant tendencies. What the fuck. He's just never _thought_ of himself that way, but the more he pieces through it, the more it makes sense. Because he does want to win, uphold the pride of his family and country, in spite of the anxious way potential failure makes him feel. He decides to try and use that desire to win as a jumping off point, something to come back to when he feels too defined by his mental issues.

90degreedom also helps him understand that there are different levels to this as well, just like with being submissive. It's not all or none. He has dominant _tendencies_. That doesn't mean he has to act like a super dom in every aspect of his life in order to try and validate 'being' dominant. That would probably creep people out, in all honesty.

Through 90degreedom, as well as others, Yuuri is encouraged to just take some time to feel things out, figure out what his dominance means to him. It sounds a lot like the advice he was given all those years ago when he first started out in the sub chats. He realizes he never really took it to heart though, way back then.

Yuuri actually looks through some of his beginning logs. It's eye opening. He sees it now, how the way he reacted to certain questions and situations made Sweetsilversub wonder. Yuuri feels like kind of an idiot now, for just _assuming_ based on the careless words of an acquaintance...

One particular interaction catches his eye, where Tiemeup247 had been gushing about their foot fetish in an open chat. Yuuri re-reads it carefully, because he remembers that. He remembers sitting there and picturing having had someone to rub his feet after the years of ballet and figure skating abuse, and agreeing whole heartedly with the other chat members about how great foot massages were.

He's a moron.

He's an absolute, inexcusable moron.

His only defense is that he really didn't understand how all of this worked, in the beginning.

 

_Sweetsilversub: so, I guess you're coming to terms with it? :)_

_Cherryblossomdom: slowly_

_Cherryblossomdom: I'm kind of an idiot_

_Sweetsilversub: hush_

_Sweetsilversub: It's not like it's a thing that never happens_

_Cherryblossomdom: I guess_

_Cherryblossomdom: talking to 90degreedom did help though, thanks again for hooking us up_

_Sweetsilversub: ;D_

_Cherryblossomdom: omg you know what I meant_

_Sweetsilversub: if it's any consolation you're still adorably easy to rile up_

_Cherryblossomdom: why am I friends with you again?_

_Sweetsilversub: for the sheer awesome_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Sweetsilversub: can I ask a question?_

_Cherryblossomdom: *squints suspiciously_

_Cherryblossomdom: maybe..._

_Sweetsilversub: :P_

_Sweetsilversub: obviously I saw the name change..._

_Cherryblossomdom: obviously..._

_Sweetsilversub: you're still staying under a sub profile tho?_

_Cherryblossomdom: *sighs dramatically_

_Cherryblossomdom: (see, i've learned so much from you)_

_Cherryblossomdom: well, I just couldn't bring myself to change it yet?_

_Sweetsilversub: they grow up so fast_

_Cherryblossomdom: I actually started to change over to the dom side of the site... but then I realized I would have to use the “talk to subs” link in order to chat with you guys, and I have kind of a hang up over the “talk to doms” one we have... I never use it? Because so many are sex obsessed? And I couldn't bring myself to do it yet... I know that doesn't make a lot of sense..._

_Sweetsilversub: I've been saying for a long time that we need a switch side._

_Sweetsilversub: or at least a questioning indicator or something_

_Cherryblossomdom: I know, i've heard your rant many times :P_

_Sweetsilversub: just take things at your own pace, no one here is going to be upset_

_Cherryblossomdom: thanks, that means a lot to me_

_Sweetsilversub: you're more than welcome, cbd :)_

 


	2. But your arms were open at my door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm assuming (and you know what happens there) that Phichit has only known Yuuri for a couple years in canon, due to being only 20. The beginning part of this ch was saved as "The Phichit Interlude" on my computer :)
> 
> Also, you cannot tell me that Victor isn't the kind of guy to cheer himself up by buying expensive things.

“Phichit, when I said I wanted to try and work on my self confidence, this isn't what I had in mind” Yuuri balked.

“But Yuuri, the first three sessions are free! Neither of us are in a place financially, as students, to pass up on _free_ dance instruction” Phichit cajoled.

Yuuri gave him an exasperated look.

“Plus, I don't want to go alone?” Phichit stuck out his bottom lip in a parody of neediness.

Damn, his friend was getting to know him almost too well. Yuuri sighed, knowing he'd pretty much lost the battle already. Phichit pumped his fist in the air to celebrate his victory.

“Come on, we're nice and early, so we can scope out the competition as they arrive.”

“Competition? I thought you said this was an introductory class?” Yuuri stuttered.

“It is, it is,” Phichit assured him as they walked into the studio. After speaking with the instructor briefly, they stowed their bags and coats so they could start stretching.

“Oi, Yuuri, take a quick selfie with me!”

“Oh my god, I am declaring this to be a photo-free environment if you want this to happen” Yuuri groaned.

“But Yuuri,” Phichit fake whined, “We haven't even taken our clothes off yet!”

“No.”

“But we see each other naked in the locker rooms all the time!”

“Not happening.”

“I thought your family ran a hot springs?”

“They do, but that's different. And we don't allow photos inside the onsen.”

Phichit looked downtrodden for a moment, but then he perked up with a visible glint in his eye. Yuuri knew him well enough to fear the glint.

“If we can't take one here, then you have to make it up to me later” the Thai skater announced.

“Um, by doing what?...”

“By finally taking a butt selfie with me!”

Yuuri blushed. He blushed from the tips of his roots down to his chest, he was sure.

“Fully clothed?” he tried to bargain. If Phichit was like a shark after blood in the water when it came to selfies, then Yuuri was a surfer with hemophilia.

“Ok! But the pose will be 'To Be Determined'” Phichit winked.

Honestly, if it kept shots of him half naked off the internet, it was worth whatever ridiculous pose Phichit might come up with.

“Ok, you've got a deal” Yuuri agreed, unable to hold back a small smile at his friend's antics.

Just then the instructor came their way, so they both let the subject drop.

“From the way you're stretching, it looks like you two have a dance background?” he asked.

“Yes, ballet” Yuuri nodded, sending Phichit a look not to contradict him. He didn't need anybody linking this to his figure skating career.

“Ah! You know, we have a saying in the industry, that the barre prepares you well for the pole!” their instructor chuckled.

“Does it really?” Phichit grinned, “You're going to do great then, Yuuri!”

 

And he did.

 

My god, did he. At the end of their three free classes, the instructor was practically begging Yuuri to continue. He even offered him half off the normal price of the lessons. The thing was, Yuuri actually kind of enjoyed it? Like, it was new and different, but still close to the dancing he already knew. Phichit was _stunned_ when he accepted the half off deal without any pleading on his friend's part.

“You can't tell a soul, though” Yuuri swore him to secrecy.

“You know my silence comes with a priiiiice, Yuuri” Phichit sing-songed at him, enjoying this far too much.

“I'll let you actually _post_ that butt selfie?...” Yuuri offered, scratching the back of his head.

“Oh, you will. But that's not quite on the same magnitude, is it?”

“No, I guess not...”

“If you want me to keep quiet about your new _hobby_ , then I think it's only fair if you have to incorporate some of your new moves into your routine for next season” Phichit beamed.

Yuuri frowned. Not because he was upset, but because of logistics. Was there a way to translate the moves from one medium to another?... It was a very different way of moving your body, to be sure.

“Yuuri” Phichit leaned in closer, “You've got your 'determined' face on...”

“Well, it's not like can just pull a yogini on the ice” Yuuri muttered.

“It doesn't have to be exact moves” Phichit said, “just add some drama, some emotion, maybe a little sexual tension!”

“I'll have to talk to Ciao Ciao about it...” Yuuri reminded him.

“Ok!” Phichit took that as acceptance, which it was, “Let's both do our best to make it to the Grand Prix Final next year!”

Now that, Yuuri could agree to.

 

 

 

_Sub5life: oh? What college?_

_Cherryblossomdom: I'd rather not say. You know how it is._

_Sub5life: we're all friends here, tho_

_Cherryblossomdom: I know, but i'm not looking to meet up or anything, just chat_

_Sub5life: I just like to make sure people aren't under age, you know how it is_

_Sweetsilversub: then you should just do that?_

_Sweetsilversub: how does knowing what uni they go to prove anything?_

_Cherryblossomdom: I could be a genius_

_Tiedup247: 14 on a scholarship_

_Sweetsilversub: he could_

_Sub5life: so how old are you then?_

_Cherryblossomdom: over 18 :) don't worry_

_Tiedup247: so, back to the pressing issue of 3s' hair_

_Sub5life: cool_

_Sweetsilversub: aren't you going to ask how old I am?_

_Cherryblossomdom: (OMG don't)_

_Cherryblossomdom: (it's a trap)_

_Sweetsilversub: (hush you)_

_Tiedup247: seriously though, it's a trap_

_Cherryblossomdom: save yourself_

_Tiedup247: it's too late for us_

_Tiedup247: we're in too deep_

_Sub5life: ???_

_Sweetsilversub: pay no attention to them, they're sleep deprived_

_Cherryblossomdom: but still geniuses tho_

_Tiedup247: 3s we will totally braid your hair 4 u and put little bows all over_

_Tiedup247: we are your true friend_

_Cherryblossomdom: true geniuses_

_Tiedup247: lol we tried_

_Sweetsilversub: you both need to just go to sleep already_

_Sub5life: what time is it where you are?_

_Tiedup247: uh oh, gettin' that vibe_

_Cherryblossomdom: genius vibe?_

_Sweetsilversub: stalker vibe_

_Tiedup247: we're out anyway, you know how we get if we don't go to sleep before the sun comes up_

_Sweetsilversub: turned to ash?_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Tiedup247: *flips you off_

_Tiedup247: and goodnight_

Tiedup247 has logged out

_Sub5life: you guys are a waste of time anyway_

_Cherryblossomdom: 3s pm me_

_Sub5life: fuck you akk_

_Sweetsilversub: you pm me :P_

_Cherryblossomdom: i'm on mobile :(_

 

_Sweetsilversub has sent you a private message request._

 

 

 

“Ciao Ciao agreed to put in the elements I asked for” Yuuri grinned as Phichit finally made his way out of the lockers. He was a few minutes late to practice that day, due to hamster issues.

“Yes! This is going to be your year, Yuuri! I'll be cheering for you 100%!” Phichit hugged him.

“This routine is certainly more demanding than ones I've done before” Yuuri hugged him back, “Now I just need to actually pull it off...”

“Let's get started then!”

“Yeah, ok. Let's go.”

 

 

 

_Cherryblossomdom: can't you look for a different job if you don't like yours anymore?_

_Sweetsilversub: it's not that simple_

_Sweetsilversub: it's kind of the only thing I know how to do?..._

_Cherryblossomdom: :(_

_Cherryblossomdom: that sucks_

_Cherryblossomdom: maybe a diff company in the same field?_

_Cherryblossomdom: just to shake things up_

_Sweetsilversub: it wouldn't really solve anything tho_

_Sweetsilversub: but the change of pace might do me good_

_Sweetsilversub: idk_

_Sweetsilversub: I just have a lot to think about right now_

_Cherryblossomdom: you know we'll support you, whatever you decide :)_

_Sweetsilversub: I know_

_Sweetsilversub: thanks :)_

_90degreedom: back_

_90degreedom: what did I miss?_

_Cherryblossomdom: 3s is having a midlife crisis_

_Sweetsilversub: !!!_

_Cherryblossomdom: :P_

_90degreedom: again?_

_Sweetsilversub: I hate you both_

_Sweetsilversub: so mean :(_

_Sweetsilversub: I am the very picture of hale and hearty youthfulness, i'll have you know_

_90degreedom: the last time he went out and bought a convertible_

_Cherryblossomdom: hale?_

_90degreedom: it's an old-timey word for being healthy ;D_

_Cherryblossomdom: convertible?!??!_

_Sweetsilversub: IT WAS A RENTAL_

_90degreedom: my apologies, i'm sure you'll handle this one with much more grace and dignity_

_Cherryblossomdom: omg_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Sweetsilversub: actually, I do miss that car_

_90degreedom: because the first one solved SO many problems_

_Sweetsilversub: my crisis is existential if anything :(_

_Cherryblossomdom: don't worry_

_Cherryblossomdom: it's not a real mid-life crisis if you don't cut your hair and start dating someone half your age ;)_

_Sweetsilversub: i'm deleting you both :)_

_Cherryblossomdom: but you ARE smiling :)_

_90degreedom: mission accomplished_

_Sweetsilversub: go to hell :)_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“What's wrong with your voice?”

“Yuuri-kun...”

…

“Neechan?”

“I'm so sorry, Yuuri. It's Vicchan... There was an accident...”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Sweetsilversub: I'm in love._

_Tiedup247: ?????????????????????_

_90degreedom: that's just your reflection, 3s_

_Sweetsilversub: no, seriously_

_Sweetsilversub: I met someone <3_

_Tiedup247: are you serious?_

_90degreedom: you don't “meet” people_

_90degreedom: you never agree to meet people_

_Sweetsilversub: it wasn't through here_

_Sweetsilversub: I meant in real life_

_Sweetsilversub: at a work thing_

_Tiedup247: omg_

_90degreedom: omg_

_Tiedup247: SPILL_

_90degreedom: holy shit_

_Sweetsilversub: he's gorgeous_

_Sweetsilversub: and just, so vibrant_

_Sweetsilversub: I haven't felt this alive in a long time_

_Sweetsilversub: ever, maybe..._

_90degreedom: I guess it's a good thing you didn't quit your job then :P_

_Tiedup247: did you guys? You know?_

_Tiedup247: wink wink nudge nudge_ (*^3^)/~☆

_Sweetsilversub: :(_

_Sweetsilversub: no_

_90degreedom: is he married?_

_Sweetsilversub: what?_

_Sweetsilversub: No!_

_Tiedup247: is he a MtG nerd?_

_Sweetsilversub: I don't know what that is???_

_90degreedom: ignore them_

_Sweetsilversub: done_

_Sweetsilversub: so_

_Sweetsilversub: we were both kind of drunk?_

_Sweetsilversub: we danced <3_

_Sweetsilversub: and drank_

_Sweetsilversub: and danced more <3 <3 <3_

_Sweetsilversub: and drank more..._

_Sweetsilversub: I mean, I can hold my liquor_

_Sweetsilversub: but by the end of the night he was kind of completely wasted?_

_Sweetsilversub: so nothing happened on that front :(_

_Tiedup247: aww, your bf's a lightweight_

_90degreedom: wow_

_Sweetsilversub: I know, right? <3_

_Tiedup247: omg_

_Tiedup247: you've got it BAD, don't you?_

_90degreedom: any indication he's 'into' the lifestyle?..._

_Sweetsilversub: no idea_

_Sweetsilversub: and honestly, at this point I don't really care._

_Tiedup247: you do have it bad_

_Tiedup247: holy shit_

_90degreedom: where is cbd, how can he not be here for this historic occasion?!?!?_

_Sweetsilversub: I don't know_

_Sweetsilversub: he hasn't been on for the last week_

_Tiedup247: he does that_

_90degreedom: some of us do have lives, you know_

_90degreedom: and apparently even love lives now_

_90degreedom: congrats 3s_

_Tiedup247: CONGRATULATIONS YOU NARCISSISTIC ASS_

_Sweetsilversub: thank you! <3_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Sweetsilversub: has anyone talked to cherryblossomdom lately?_

_Tiedup247: no_

_Tiedup247: we thought we just had bad luck/off when he was on or smthing_

_Tiedup247: Marcos hasn't heard from him either._

_90degreedom: no, I haven't :(_

_Scatter-shot: no_

_sub-squent92: nope, sorry :(_

_fantabulousnate: no_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: no_

_Tideuptieddown: no - I saw his icon active a few days ago but he didn't respond_

_asdfghjkl: no_

_Sweetsilversub: he must just be busy then_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Cherryblossomdom: so, 247 said you think I'm dead?_

_Cherryblossomdom: ..._

_Cherryblossomdom: i'm so sorry_

_Cherryblossomdom: i've just been really busy this past month_

_Sweetsilversub: omg_

_Sweetsilversub: pm me_

 

_Cherryblossomdom has sent you a private message request._

 

“Vitya, your break's over!” Yakov shouted across the ice.

Victor walked off into the locker rooms without even glancing up, his eyes glued to his phone the entire time.

 

_Cherryblossomdom: sorry_

_Sweetsilversub: are you alright?_

_Cherryblossomdom: no?_

_Cherryblossomdom: but i'm working on it?_

_Sweetsilversub: do you want to talk about it?_

_Cherryblossomdom: ..._

_Cherryblossomdom: I fucked up_

_Cherryblossomdom: there's not much to talk about._

_Sweetsilversub: fucked up how?_

_Sweetsilversub: sorry, sorry_

_Sweetsilversub: I know i'm prying_

_Sweetsilversub: i'm just worried?_

_Sweetsilversub: cbd?_

_Cherryblossomdom: I fucked up at work_

_Cherryblossomdom: and I might get fired_

_Cherryblossomdom: or be forced to quit_

_Cherryblossomdom: I don't know_

_Cherryblossomdom: I might just quit anyway and move back home_

_Sweetsilversub: don't you have a few months left of school?_

_Cherryblossomdom: yeah_

_Cherryblossomdom: I would finish that_

_Cherryblossomdom: I mean, I am finishing that no matter what_

_Sweetsilversub: good_

_Sweetsilversub: that's good_

_Sweetsilversub: don't give up, ok?_

_Cherryblossomdom: ok_

_Cherryblossomdom: since you asked so nicely :P_

_Sweetsilversub: seriously, a lot of us were worried_

_Cherryblossomdom: I know_

_Cherryblossomdom: I didn't mean for you guys to worry_

_Cherryblossomdom: my absence was just kind of an inescapable byproduct of my being so depressed?_

_Sweetsilversub: I know you tend to shut down sometimes_

_Sweetsilversub: but not normally this badly_

_Cherryblossomdom: well, my fuck up was public and completely embarrassing, so I guess it hit me pretty hard..._

_Sweetsilversub: that sucks_

_Sweetsilversub: it's not the end of the world tho_

_Cherryblossomdom: I know_

_Cherryblossomdom: have you ever done something really embarrassing?_

_Sweetsilversub: …_

_Sweetsilversub: I bought a convertible once_

_Sweetsilversub: and I have no garage_

_Cherryblossomdom: I thought that was a RENTAL?!?!?_

_Cherryblossomdom: :P_

_Sweetsilversub: it also snows here_

_Cherryblossomdom: omg you dork_

_Sweetsilversub: in my defense, it was summer time when I bought it_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Cherryblossomdom: that is pretty embarrassing_

_Sweetsilversub: when fall came around, it was either sell the car, or move._

_Sweetsilversub: moving seemed like a lot of work_

_Cherryblossomdom: lazy_

_Cherryblossomdom: you really liked that car, too_

_Sweetsilversub: next time I really will just rent one :)_

_Cherryblossomdom: who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? ;)_

_Sweetsilversub: *gasps_

_Sweetsilversub: that was a low blow :(_

_Sweetsilversub: and here I've been, fretting my pretty little head over you_

_Cherryblossomdom: fretting?_

_Sweetsilversub: ah, worrying?_

_Cherryblossomdom: right, sorry again_

_Sweetsilversub: it's ok_

_Cherryblossomdom: it's not. I should have said something, instead of just hiding away and making people worry._

_Cherryblossomdom: I may not be on as much in the future, so don't worry about me, ok?_

_Sweetsilversub: what do you mean?_

_Cherryblossomdom: I need to focus on school._

_Cherryblossomdom: and figure out this thing with my job._

_Cherryblossomdom: also, once i'm back home, i'll be in a very diff time zone, so we may not catch each other because of that too._

_Sweetsilversub: I see._

_Sweetsilversub: as long as you promise to take care of yourself, I guess I'll allow it_

_Cherryblossomdom: I promise :)_

_Cherryblossomdom: I should probably go, it's pretty late here_

_Sweetsilversub: ok_

_Sweetsilversub: don't be a stranger, cbd_

_Cherryblossomdom: never :)_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Victor wasn't a person who got depressed easily. He didn't really understand being overwhelmed by negative thoughts? But he knew it happened to people... He knew it was possible. There hadn't ever been a time in his own life though, when he hadn't been able to shake things off and look on the bright side. Or at the very least shop his feelings away.

Sure, he struggled with certain aspects of his life occasionally, but that was part of the human condition. Did he kick himself, repeatedly, over not getting Katsuki Yuuri's phone number? Definitely. Oh boy, was he ever kicking himself. Victor would have had a literal shoe-shaped imprint on the seat of his pants if he hadn't had World's to look forward to.

When Yuuri wasn't at World's, Victor got his first taste of the feeling of having messed up royally. Not on the ice of course, but in his personal life. He smiled, performed, kissed his gold medal like nothing was wrong... But his mouth tasted like ashes. It had been so long since he'd experienced true disappointment that it hit him like a ton of bricks afterward. Objectively, he knew he'd never fallen head over heels for someone like this before, so maybe that's why the let down was so intense?

The problem was, Victor knew next to nothing about Yuuri's private life, other than that his home rink was in Detroit, America and his family ran a hot springs in Hasetsu, Japan. The first he had just kind of inferred, due to Celestino being his coach. The second had been the only personal piece of info Yuuri told him. Well, other than that he was _apparently_ looking for a new coach. Which kind of threw the first piece of information into limbo.

Victor blushed at the memory, curling an arm around himself in a pale imitation of the way Yuuri had hugged him. God, 247 was right, he had it bad. He needed to get a grip on himself.

When he finally got back home from the crushing disappointment of World's, Victor went straight to pick up Makkachin. He needed his dog. He needed warm cuddles on the couch and a vat of ice cream. His heart was in shambles, and this was not ok.

Thankfully Makkachin was _always_ ready for cuddles, and the season was over so Victor felt no qualms about indulging in dessert for breakfast. And lunch. And having an unhealthy dinner delivered to his door.

Victor didn't leave his apartment for three days.

Yakov stopped calling to yell at him for skipping practice after two. On the third, he got a profanity laced text from Yuri Plisetsky telling him not to purchase anything ridiculous. Victor huffed and tossed his phone onto the cushion. He was a grown man, he would buy whatever he wanted to. Actually, now that he thought about it, he was out of sour cream... Maybe a trip to the market would be advisable.

But going out would mean getting off the couch. And he didn't want to disturb Makkachin. He'd have to shower too. Ok, so maybe that was a good idea at this point anyway. He hadn't shaved either, since the two went together, and his face was starting to _itch_...

Makkachin jumped off his lap and padded over to her water bowl just then, so Victor begrudgingly took it as a sign.

In the shower, Victor's thoughts swirled just like the water rushing down the drain. Over the past few days, he'd begun to wonder if maybe he hadn't imagined there was more between him and Yuuri than there really was. The chemistry was _there_ , Victor wouldn't doubt that... But maybe, he'd read too much into it? It wasn't like Yuuri had asked for Victor's phone number, or asked him _out_...

As much as Victor enjoyed having been the prize of sorts for a drunken dance off, maybe it wasn't supposed to have been taken as an indicator of Yuuri's _interest_ like Victor thought it had? Maybe it really was just a drunken shenanigan and thoughts of switching coaches had just been on Yuuri's mind before that, choosing that moment to express themselves?

Victor dried off absently when he was done, wishing he had a way to find out more about the mysterious Japanese figure skater's intentions. As he was lathering up his face, ideas about twitter, instagram, and social media in general flitted through his brain.

Victor drew in a sharp breath, and set down his razor.

“ _Do not_ internet stalk him” he told his reflection, eyes stern and brow furrowed.

“You are not that man” he reiterated, just in case he didn't get it the first time.

Victor took a deep breath to center himself.

Then he finished shaving.

 

Getting out of his apartment had been a good idea. Victor had been feeling down for quite a while, even before the Katsuki Yuuri incident, if he was being honest with himself. It had been such a wonderful surprise, for Yuuri to dance into his life like that when Victor was feeling like giving it all up. Without the distraction of, dear god, those _thighs_ , Victor realized he still hadn't come to any sort of resolution about his career.

And he wasn't going to today either.

“Come on Makkachin! Let's go shopping!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for Vicchan :(
> 
> MtG = Magic the Gathering
> 
> Yes, some parts of the chats were left with typos on purpose, for that authentic feel ;)
> 
> Remember kids, internet stalking becomes exponentially creepier the closer you get to 30


	3. And you taught me what a life is for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly getting there...

_Cherryblossomdom: of course i'm happy for him_

_90degreedom: that's good_

_Cherryblossomdom: it just caught me off guard I guess, he didn't mention it the last time we talked_

_Tiedup247: he was really worried you'd done something *dramatic, so he was probably just so relieved to see you he forgot about everything else_

_Cherryblossomdom: omg, HE'S the dramatic one_

_90degreedom: we know_

_90degreedom: that man could drown himself in a glass of water_

_Tiedup247: lol_

_Cherryblossomdom: I do have kind of an announcement of my own?_

_Cherryblossomdom: not on the same level as that of course_

_Cherryblossomdom: but_

_Cherryblossomdom: I finally graduated? :)_

_Tiedup247: “graduated?” or “GRADUATED!!!”_

_90degreedom: they're right, that's a big deal cbd, congratulations!_

_Tiedup247: (★^O^★)_

_Tiedup247: *throws confetti_

_Cherryblossomdom: thanks guys (*^^*)_

_90degreedom: don't encourage the emojis!!!_

_Cherryblossomdom: shit_

_Cherryblossomdom: I forgot_

_Tiedup247:_ _ヽ_ _(*^_ _ｰ_ _^)_ _人_ _(^_ _ｰ_ _^*)_ _ノ_

_Tiedup247:_ _ヾ_ _(^ ^_ _ゞ_

_90degreedom: too late_

_Tiedup247: (((o(*_ _ﾟ▽ﾟ_ _*)o)))_

_Tiedup247:_ _（_ _*_ _＾_ _ω_ _＾）人（＾_ _ω_ _＾_ _*_ _）_

_Tiedup247: (*^◇^)__ _旦_

_Tiedup247:_ _＼_ _( ^o)( ^ 0 ^ )(o^ )_ _／_

_Cherryblossomdom: omg_

_Cherryblossomdom: I don't really drink?_

_Cherryblossomdom: but I appreciate the sentiment_

_90degreedom: translate?_

_Cherryblossomdom: friends, dancing, happy, friends, drinking, friends_

_Tiedup247:_ _（人_ _´∀`*_ _）_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_90degreedom: I haven't had enough caffeine to deal with this_

_Cherryblossomdom: in love_

_90degreedom:_ _＿ﾉ乙_ _(_ _､ﾝ､_ _)__

_Cherryblossomdom: haha welcome to the dark side_

_Tiedup247: YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING OUT ON US_

 

 

 

 

 

 

Victor congratulated himself on having continued to _not_ stalk Katsuki Yuuri.

He wasn't some 17 year old kid with no experience in processing his feelings after all. Victor did however, now own a custom, hot pink, three-piece suit. Which honestly, he looked damn good in, if he did say so himself. And it had been much cheaper than a car. Slightly cheaper, anyway. It depended on the kind of car you were talking about. Cheaper than the convertible, certainly.

“Do I even want to know?” Yakov asked the first time he saw Victor wearing it.

Victor tilted his head, thinking about it.

“Never mind. I don't. Just, get on the ice, Vitya” Yakov sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I changed my mind” Mila giggled to her girlfriend over facetime, “Victor's spirit animal would definitely be a peacock.”

Victor found himself automatically smiling and throwing a wink at the cell phone he saw pointed his way, though it wasn't how he felt inside.

“Everyone on the ice! Now!” Yakov yelled in exasperation.

With a put-upon sigh, Victor turned toward the locker room again, though practicing his half-hearted routines for next season was the furthest thing from what he actually wanted.

Yuri Plisetsky glared at him as he passed.

Victor patted him on the head as he went by, causing the teen to bristle and start cursing.

What Victor _wanted_ was to have a cute Japanese boy take him in his arms again, twirl him around and look at him like he was the only person in the room. Instead, he carefully hung his suit and changed into his athletic gear. If his movements were a little more sluggish than usual, well, there was no one around to see.

As he headed for the rink, Victor contemplated that he'd never really _not_ wanted to skate before. What was the point, when all this effort was just for the same-old same-old? He stepped onto the ice and began warming up, knowing next year's routines would eventually be _technically_ flawless. Barring some unforeseen injury, he would win gold. He would continue to be 'Victor Nikiforov, living legend'. He wasn't sure he would still deserve the title though, if he didn't find a way to be passionate about what he was doing again.

Victor moved on to practicing a few moves he'd strung together for next season, but it felt robotic at this point.

Even last season, his heart hadn't been in it. Stammi Vicino could have been more. He still won with it of course, but the way he'd failed to truly _evoke_ the emotion he'd been going for was troubling. God, if he kept this up, would he even be assured of a gold next season? In his current state of mind, did winning _again_ really make a difference? Victor hated second guessing himself, but it seemed to be all he did lately.

“Vitya” Yakov's voice broke him out of his revere. Seeing his coach's face was in a deeper frown than normal, Victor came to a halt in front of him.

“That was terrible” Yakov scowled, looking almost disbelievingly at him.

“Ah... My mind was elsewhere” Victor automatically smiled, “I'll do better tomorrow.”

Yakov nodded, giving a grunt as his only response.

Victor took the opportunity to flee.

 

Later that evening, curled up on his couch with Makkachin, Victor stared at his phone, bored and frustrated. He would normally log in and chat with whatever other subs were around to cheer himself up. But... He was embarrassed that he'd let his 'relationship' status get so out of hand with his friends online.

True, he'd never actually _said_ he had a boyfriend now, that was a comment 247 had made and everyone had run with... Victor hadn't corrected them though? And had started the whole debacle by declaring he was in love? Ugh. Plus, he had changed his status to “In a relationship” on the site in a fit of whimsy before World's had happened.

“Makkachiiiiin” he whined into his best friend's fur, “This sucks...”

Makkachin licked his ear, making Victor snort and sit back up.

“You're right, you're right, it's my own fault, in the end” he murmured. Victor looked over to the window, evaluating the amount of daylight left.

“Ok! Time to get out of the house for a while. Let's go to the park!” Victor decided.

Makkachin bounded off his lap and over to the door as soon as he said the word 'park', bringing a genuine smile to Victor's face for the first time in a while. It was good to get out, and Makkachin agreed. Besides, if he spent a lot less time online these days, people would probably just attribute it to his new relationship, ironically enough. At least people wouldn't worry. They'd probably be happy for him.

Victor shook those thoughts from his head and clipped on Makkachin's leash.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You have 16 new notifications!

 

_OMG you have to see this_

_-Mila B_

 

_where the hell does this loser get off???_

_-Ice Tiger_

 

_Hmm, apparently it's only considered 'pining' if it's one sided ;)_

_-c. giacometti_

 

_A worthy homage_

_-Georgi_

 

< \- Page 1 of 4 - >

 

 

“What on earth?” Victor loaded Mila's link since it was at the top. They all appeared to be of the same video. His breath caught in his throat as soon as the youtube page loaded. Katsuki Yuuri's face was easily recognizable, even if the description was in Japanese. As soon as the buffering finished, Victor felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

Stammi Vicino.

Holy crap.

Yuuri was skating _his_ routine. There was no music in the clip, but by the gods, Victor felt like he could hear it anyway. He could _see_ the emotion pouring off of Yuuri, filling the rink a little further with every push of his feet and sweep of his arms. It was incredible. It was everything the routine _should_ have been. His heartbeat sped up with longing just watching it.

Wait.

Victor frowned at the screen as the video finished.

This was the skater who came in _last_ at the previous GPF? Victor had been so caught up in mooning over him personally that he hadn't taken the time to evaluate Yuuri as a competitor. He was _talented_. Why the hell had he come in last?

Victor decided it wasn't internet stalking if you were just checking out the competition. He only searched for Yuuri based on routines and competition placements. Purposefully avoiding any personal accounts the man might have was difficult, but Victor wanted the details of Yuuri's life to come _from_ _Yuuri_. There were quite a few videos of him skating though, and Victor absorbed them hungrily.

Katsuki Yuuri skated the same way he stole hearts. Beautifully, passionately, but with a slight hesitance that made him seem all the more sincere. Well, that was the way Victor saw it, looking past the veneer of his lackluster routines. It was obvious what he had been able to do with a stellar one.

Victor imagined what he could do with the proper encouragement. The proper support and someone who _expected_ greatness.

Victor looked up from his phone after watching two hours worth of youtube and stared blankly at the far wall.

“I am about to do something completely reckless” he said to no one in particular.

Makkachin tilted her head and made a huffing sound, used to being the one he was talking to.

“Good idea” Victor smiled, “There's no point in waiting, Makkachin!”

 

 

 

 

“Yuuri! Starting today, I'm your coach. I'll make you win the Grand Prix Final” Victor winked.

 

 

 

 

Yuuri knelt on the tatami of his family's inn, absorbing Minako-sensei's words while watching Victor Nikiforov sleep. It made something stir in his chest that he couldn't quite place, to think that Victor came here _for him_. When he had skated Stammi Vicino for Yuuko, he had done it to try and reconnect with skating on an emotional level. Sort of a going back to basics thing.

The inspiration of Victor had always pushed him to go farther, reach higher, in an effort to have the attention of his idol... Yuuri smiled to himself at his train of thought, accepting it for the dominance it carried, but still unable to reconcile it to his current reality.

He wasn't sure if he'd be able to believe the turn his life had taken any time soon.

 

Victor turned out to be, well... The most honest and straightforward person Yuuri had ever met. But it kind of worked for Yuuri? He had never had someone keep him on his toes quite like this before. He had no idea what was going to come out of Victor's mouth at any given moment.

But the man was also super friendly at the same time? And _more than_ _friendly_ at others... Yuuri was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the complete package of 'Victor Nikiforov'. The man was a force of nature. He blew in like a tropical storm to their sleepy little town. It was an honor to have the attention of that personality focused on _him_ , and Yuuri vowed to do everything he could to live up to it.

 

 

_Tiedup247: yeah, too bad about cbd_

_Cherryblossomdom: i'm right here?_

_Tiedup247: sometimes it's like we can still hear his voice..._

_Cherryblossomdom: gomen_

_Cherryblossomdom: m(_ _)m_

_Tiedup247: (_ _ノ_ _Д`)_ _・゜・。_

_Tiedup247: (◎_◎;)_

_Tiedup247:_ _、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽﾏｯﾃｪ_ _(_ _ノ；_ _Д_ _；_ _)_ _ノ ｀、、ヽ｀☂ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀_

_Cherryblossomdom: omg_

_Cherryblossomdom: do they need a minute?_

_Tiedup247: no we're good now_

_Tiedup247: been saving that one for like, 5 years_

_Tiedup247: just in case_

_Tiedup247:_ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Cherryblossomdom: ok, so_

_Cherryblossomdom: question_

_Tiedup247:_ _fire away_

_Cherryblossomdom: is there a word in english for how hard your heart races when you get something you've always wanted, but never thought you'd have?_

_Tiedup247: ???_

_Tiedup247: “_ _ヽ_ _(´▽_ _｀_ _)_ _ノ”_

_Tiedup247: why, what happened?_

_Cherryblossomdom: ah, well..._

_Cherryblossomdom: it's hard to explain_

_Cherryblossomdom: someone came into my life that I was not expecting?_

_Tiedup247: you met someone_

_Cherryblossomdom: and that I've really looked up to for a long time_

_Tiedup247: you MET someone_

_Tiedup247: our turn for questions_

_Tiedup247: very important_

_Tiedup247: are they a taurus?_

_Cherryblossomdom: what?_

_Tiedup247: where they born in April?_

_Cherryblossomdom: no..._

_Tiedup247: then you have our blessing_

_Cherryblossomdom: ???_

_Cherryblossomdom: WE'RE NOT DATING_

_Cherryblossomdom: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT_

_Tiedup247: mmmmmmmhmmmm_

_Cherryblossomdom: it's not like that (×_×;_ _）_

_Tiedup247: but they make you “_ _ヽ_ _(´▽_ _｀_ _)_ _ノ”_

_Cherryblossomdom: …_

_Cherryblossomdom: I guess he does..._

_Tiedup247: invite me to the wedding_ _★_ ~(◠‿◕✿)

_Cherryblossomdom: omg_

_Cherryblossomdom: we just met_

_Cherryblossomdom: and we're not dating_

_Tiedup247: we thinks the cherry doth protest too much_

 

Yuuri rolled away from his phone after the conversation was over, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

He was happy.

 

 

 

Yuri Plisetsky was misplaced aggression personified. He was also a _kid_ , so Yuuri didn't take his insults too seriously. He was almost like those newbies to the lifestyle online, who hadn't yet figured out that sadism and domination were two different things. It was difficult to be in such direct competition with someone who already had a claim on Victor though, however minor. As much as his feelings of inadequacy still plagued him, Yuuri clung to the small spark in his chest that was Victor's faith in him. The man had come halfway around the world because he _saw_ something in the 23 year old. And a skating genius of Victor's magnitude couldn't be completely wrong.

 

As the deadline for their Hot Springs on Ice performances drew nearer, Yuuri quietly panicked. He knew his routine wasn't where it needed to be in order to win. The problem was just as Victor said, that he hadn't found his Eros. Not really. (The pork cutlet bowl incident aside.) Yuuri just couldn't identify with the story. No matter how much he tried to, he couldn't put on the persona of a playboy.

It wasn't until the _night before_ the event that Yuuri suddenly remembered that if a label didn't end up fitting him, he was allowed to re-evaluate and switch tracks.

He wasn't a playboy, and that was ok.

Yuuri could never tease people along with no intent. He wanted commitment and stability, a real relationship with someone. He was the type of person who was far more likely to end up being hurt than doing the hurting. When he looked at it objectively, he identified with the woman resisting the playboy most. But focusing on resistance didn't fit the emotion of the piece. It was still about love and desire. Maybe... Maybe there was more to be said for the story than it ending in heartbreak...

Perhaps the woman, after having given in to the playboy, gives it her all to try seducing him back and keeping his interest. Maybe Yuuri had carried his conclusion too far the first time. There was nothing in the music that suggested the pain of loss. It was a demand for attention, arousal echoed back when you _knew_ the other party was interested. There was still a chance for the woman to keep the playboy's affections. _Eros_ was the middle of the story, with nothing complete or finalized yet.

“There's still a chance to keep him” Yuuri said into the darkness of his room.

Then he bolted upright and headed for Minako's.

 

 

 

Watching Yuuri take his place on the ice made Victor feel like he was standing at the top of a flight of stairs, over balanced, waiting to see if he would fall or not. He hid it well though.

Then the music started, and Yuuri threw a smirk at him that gave Victor flamenco flashbacks. He whistled in appreciation, congratulating himself on his excellent taste and for having come here in the first place. Because _wow_. The difference between this and what Yuuri had displayed at practice yesterday was like night and day.

Of course there were still some technical issues to deal with. But Yuuri was _feeling_ it. The man had turned out to be so reserved, so much more hesitant than the image of him that Victor had built up in his mind. If it hadn't been for his passionate declaration that he would give it all the Eros he had, Victor would have begun to lose hope in Yuuri's interest at all.

As it was, Yuuri was vindicating Victor's presence with every sway of his hips and glide of his limbs. Hell, he was practically validating Victor's very _existence_ with the smoldering look in his eyes. Only Victor's years of experience in keeping up appearances for the cameras let him retain his calm demeanor. Even then it was mostly just him staring transfixed during the entire performance.

He wondered if he could angle in rubbing Yuuri's feet tonight as a reward for winning... That was probably coming on too strong though. Yuuri seemed hesitant about there being anything between them but friendly courtesy. Or maybe it was a cultural thing?... Victor was still testing the waters in a lot of ways, learning how to phrase things and approach situations so that Yuuri didn't run from him.

That was part of why his transformation was so astounding, because the man was so, _so_ slow in warming up... But it wasn't like _no_ progress was being made on the relationship front. As much as Victor would enjoy it if Yuuri pinned him against the lockers and made out with him, he had to admit that the quiet moments of getting to know him resonated deeply as well. To the point that seeing Yuuri sleeping in bed with Makkachin, _his_ dog (Victor's dog!), hardly made him jealous at all. In fact, it was mostly a fond feeling that overtook him.

Hopefully, if Yuuri's plea before the performance for Victor to watch him was anything to go by, then it was more than fondness that was building for both of them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, some OC chat friends have changed their names, because sometimes, things change.  
> Dropping the real world life wisdom here ;)  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> **Karen Carpenter taps you on the shoulder  
>  -We've only just beguuuuun


	4. To see that ordinary, isn't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the 'communication' tag pretty much sums up all you need to know about this chapter.

_Sweetsilversub: we're ALL allowed to have lives, end of discussion_

_Tiedup247: we would send you the forever alone emoji, but it would be wasted on you_

_Sweetsilversub: nothing is ever wasted on me :(_

_Tiedup247: u have suave dancing bf_

_Tiedup247: cbd met a non-taurus_

_Tiedup247: Marcos went out to get groceries_

_Tiedup247: so we are all alone_

_Tiedup247: so alone_

_Sweetsilversub: the alone-est?_

_Tiedup247: YES_

_Tiedup247:_ _、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽﾏｯﾃｪ_ _(_ _ノ；_ _Д_ _；_ _)_ _ノ ｀、、ヽ｀☂ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀_

_Sweetsilversub: at least until Marcos gets back_

_Tiedup247: that is beside the point_

_Sweetsilversub: I do have to admit_

_Sweetsilversub: that is certainly an emoji for the truly dedicated_

_Tiedup247: :)_

_Tiedup247: you sweet talker_

_Sweetsilversub: it is in my name ;)_

_Tiedup247: *gasos_

_Tiedup247: *gasps_

_Tiedup247: should you be flirting online when you have an actual irl bf???_

_Sweetsilversub: if a winking face is flirting then i've flirted with every single person on the internet at this point_

_Tiedup247: we already knew that, darling_

_Tiedup247: is he not the possessive type?_

_Sweetsilversub: i'm not sure_

_Sweetsilversub: maybe?_

_Sweetsilversub: i've seen hints of it, now that they mention it_

_Tiedup247: now that WE mention?_

_Tiedup247: ???_

_Sweetsilversub: they know things aren't like that/this with him_

_Tiedup247: yet_

_Sweetsilversub: maybe ever_

_Tiedup247: urgh you're killing us_

_Tiedup247: just ask him_

_Tiedup247: very nicely_

_Tiedup247: to put you on your knees and fuck your face already_

_90degreedom: wow, so, I think I missed something..._

_Tiedup247: GO BACK TO THE STORE_

_Tiedup247: we are having very deep philosophical convo here_

_Sweetsilversub: *sighs_

_90degreedom: riiiiiight_

_90degreedom: good to see you though, 3s, it's been a while_

_Sweetsilversub: it's good to see you too :)_

_Sweetsilversub: sorry i've been busy_

_Sweetsilversub: and 247, i'm pretty sure he would pass out from embarrassment if I did_

_Tiedup247: that sucks_

_Tiedup247: maybe work him up to it?_

_Sweetsilversub: i'm almost afraid to ask_

_Sweetsilversub: but_

_Sweetsilversub: what would be their suggestion for that?_

_Tiedup247: drop hints?_

_Tiedup247: drop to ur knees?_

_90degreedom: omg_

_Tiedup247: RUDE_

_Sweetsilversub: ???_

_90degreedom: I was reading your earlier conversation over their shoulder_

_90degreedom: serious advice time_

_Tiedup247: our advice was serious_

_90degreedom: I bought you brie_

_Tiedup247:_ (｡♥‿♥｡)

_Tiedup247: ?donde?_

_Sweetsilversub: at the risk of COMPLETELY derailing this conversation, how many places could it possibly be?..._

Tiedup247 has logged out

_90degreedom: they meant where did I buy it_

_90degreedom: and they say 'bye'_

_Sweetsilversub: that was neither subtle nor gentlemanly_

_90degreedom: but it was necessary_

_Sweetsilversub: don't get in trouble on my account_

_90degreedom: they have brie, all will be forgiven_

_90degreedom: so_

_90degreedom: we've known each other a long time_

_90degreedom: and you know I wouldn't mess with your head_

_90degreedom: but I feel like someone needs to point this out to you_

_Sweetsilversub: point what out to me?_

_90degreedom: that if you're 'settling' for this guy, not getting what you need, not able to communicate about the deepest parts of yourself, then there's not much chance of it working out long term_

_Sweetsilversub: i've lived my whole life up to this point 'not getting what I need' already, and been fine_

_90degreedom: you have a mid-life crisis every couple years or so, I wouldn't call that fine_

_Sweetsilversub: if anything i'm the happiest i've ever been right now_

_90degreedom: you've also been in a relationship for months now and feel like you can't talk openly about sex_

_Sweetsilversub: not everyone is all about sex_

_Sweetsilversub: fuck you_

_90degreedom: I know that not everyone is, it's the lack of communication_

_Sweetsilversub: also, they're not midlife crisis’s_

_Sweetsilversub: i'm not even thirty yet_

_90degreedom: 3s..._

Sweetsilversub has logged out

 

 

Victor's hands were practically shaking as he forcefully logged out. He knew Marcos was only saying those things because he didn't have the real picture. Which was Victor's fault. But it was still upsetting. Because in all reality, Yuuri wasn't very communicative. Victor had absolutely no idea what was going through his head half the time. They weren't to the point of an actual 'relationship' yet though, so it was fine that they hadn't talked about anything like submission...

Victor decided that all he could do was be patient with Yuuri, and continue to pursue him as best he knew how. If that meant being rebuffed multiple times, well, Victor knew that getting to know Yuuri was worth it.

It wasn't until Yuuri skipped out on _practice_ that Victor began getting frustrated. Having slept in on accident was one thing... (And it gave Victor a chance to 'check in' online and let people know he wasn't dead) But Victor knew from Yuuko that the ice was Yuuri's refuge, his constant, and the one thing he always ran _to_. If Victor was on such a wrong track that Yuuri was starting to avoid him despite the ice, then he needed to change things up, and quickly.

Victor normally did his deep thinking on his couch, or on a park bench with Makkachin at his side. However, he hoped the lulling tranquility of the ocean would help Yuuri find some peace. So he dragged the man there, almost literally. After nearly half an hour of sitting silently in the sand, Victor suddenly wondered if he could coach Yuuri into opening up a bit by example, just like he demonstrated movements on the ice...

What he offered was small, a simple peek into the issue that Victor had with sometimes taking things for granted. Nothing life altering, nothing sexual... But it was apparently enough. Because Yuuri shared with him right back, making Victor's heart soar. The moment even survived Victor's purposefully casual comment about becoming boyfriends. It was strange, but Yuuri's rejection of the label didn't even hurt, not with the way he'd done it, not with asking Victor to please remain how he was...

Victor realized in that moment that Katsuki Yuuri was a lot more in touch with his emotions than Victor had thought. He wasn't rejecting Victor, he was telling him to not give up, to keep trying, to stay as he was. For whatever reason, Yuuri wasn't ready to let Victor all the way in yet, but that was ok. He still wanted Victor to want him. And Yuuri was going to make up for the distance he needed to keep him at for now with his skating.

Victor found, surprisingly, that he was willing to do pretty much anything Yuuri asked of him. If it freaked Yuuri out that Victor was knocking on his door all the time, asking to be let in, then Victor would just stand on the porch quietly and wait until he was ready. If Yuuri needed his skating to stand in for the way he felt for now, Victor wouldn't let him off easy.

When he told Yuuri as much, it felt like the two of them were finally on the same page for the first time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Sweetsilversub: you know, for someone who used to think of themselves as a sub, you're not very good at following directions :P_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Cherryblossomdom: how so?_

_Sweetsilversub: I thought you agreed not to be a stranger :(_

_Cherryblossomdom: m(_ _)m_

_Sweetsilversub: oh god_

_Sweetsilversub: english please_

_Sweetsilversub: 247 has emoji'd me out_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Cherryblossomdom: sorry_

_Cherryblossomdom: I apologize for not being around at your beckon call_

_Sweetsilversub: good, you should :)_

_Cherryblossomdom: word on the grapevine is that you aren't around much either these days_

_Cherryblossomdom: spending a lot of time with the new bf? ;)_

_Sweetsilversub: something like that_

_Cherryblossomdom: Marcos said you disconnected on him_

_Sweetsilversub: he was being an ass_

_Cherryblossomdom: he just worries, that's all_

_Sweetsilversub: he doesn't need to_

_Sweetsilversub: i'm a grown man, I can make my own life choices_

_Cherryblossomdom: yeah_

_Cherryblossomdom: about that_

_Cherryblossomdom: YOU'RE NOT EVEN 30???_

_Sweetsilversub: fuck_

_Cherryblossomdom: i'm teasing, you know none of us care how old you are_

_Cherryblossomdom: you were just always so sensitive about it_

_Cherryblossomdom: seemed like you really were older than us_

_Sweetsilversub: I have been told on occasion that I should have gone into acting_

_Cherryblossomdom: you've certainly got the histrionics down :P_

_Sweetsilversub: thanks! :D_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Cherryblossomdom: maybe you should do some auditions_

_Sweetsilversub: ugh, I don't have time for that_

_Cherryblossomdom: so he really is keeping you busy? :)_

_Sweetsilversub: honestly_

_Sweetsilversub: he pretty much encompasses my every waking thought at this point_

_Cherryblossomdom: wow_

_Cherryblossomdom: that's falling pretty hard pretty fast_

_Sweetsilversub: is it?_

_Sweetsilversub: I haven't really ever fallen in love before?..._

_Sweetsilversub: it's so complicated :(_

_Cherryblossomdom: don't come to me for advice, i've never done this before either_

_Sweetsilversub: wait_

_Sweetsilversub: what?_

_Cherryblossomdom: …_

_Sweetsilversub: done “this” as in fallen in love? ;)_

_Sweetsilversub: does this have to do with you supposedly meeting a non-taurus?_

_Sweetsilversub: whatever that is?_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Cherryblossomdom: taurus is a western zodiac sign_

_Sweetsilversub: ah_

_Sweetsilversub: so you admit it then :P_

_Sweetsilversub: our little cbd is in loooooove_

_Cherryblossomdom: omg_

_Cherryblossomdom: I will admit that I think very highly of him_

_Cherryblossomdom: that I greatly esteem him_

_Sweetsilversub: oh elinor_

_Cherryblossomdom: (*^^*)_

_Sweetsilversub: i'm happy for you then :)_

_Cherryblossomdom: thanks :)_

_Sweetsilversub: so..._

_Sweetsilversub: what's your favorite thing about him?_

_Cherryblossomdom: ah_

_Cherryblossomdom: well..._

_Cherryblossomdom: you know how it is with the internet_

_Cherryblossomdom: I mean, it's easier to say whatever behind the anonymity of an icon_

_Cherryblossomdom: but in real life, I have a hard time_

_Sweetsilversub: a lot of people are like that_

_Cherryblossomdom: yeah, there was even a section on it in my psych class_

_Cherryblossomdom: anyway,_

_Cherryblossomdom: I guess my favorite thing about him would be that when I do manage to open up, he kind of, I don't know...meets me where I am?_

_Sweetsilversub: that sounds nice_

_Sweetsilversub: I mean_

_Sweetsilversub: I was talking more like, does he have a nice butt_

_Sweetsilversub: but that works too_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Cherryblossomdom: he does ;)_

_Sweetsilversub: good_

_Sweetsilversub: you know I can't approve of him if you've chosen a man with a sub-par posterior_

_Cherryblossomdom: *groans_

_Cherryblossomdom: that was horrible_

_Sweetsilversub: :P_

_Sweetsilversub: I thought it was clever :D_

_Cherryblossomdom: you also thought you might quit your job right before you met the man of your dreams there_

_Cherryblossomdom: :P_

_Sweetsilversub: actually_

_Sweetsilversub: I did sort of quit after all?_

_Cherryblossomdom: ?????????????????????_

_Cherryblossomdom: I thought you were all worried because you didn't know how to do anything else???_

_Sweetsilversub: I was_

_Sweetsilversub: but now instead of breaking my back doing all the work_

_Sweetsilversub: I'm a consultant :D_

_Sweetsilversub: so I tell other people how to do their jobs_

_Sweetsilversub: and still make money ;)_

_Cherryblossomdom: genius_

_Sweetsilversub: i've been told that on occasion as well ;)_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Cherryblossomdom: so_

_Cherryblossomdom: what's your favorite thing about ur bf?_

_Cherryblossomdom: besides his butt_

_Sweetsilversub: damn, you know me too well..._

_Cherryblossomdom: :P_

_Sweetsilversub: :)_

_Sweetsilversub: I would have to say..._

_Sweetsilversub: his thighs_

_Cherryblossomdom: omg something not physical you horn dog_

_Sweetsilversub: lol_

_Sweetsilversub: you make it too easy_

_Sweetsilversub: sorry_

_Sweetsilversub: serious response now_

_Sweetsilversub: the way he doesn't know how beautiful he is_

_Cherryblossomdom: damn_

_Cherryblossomdom: I was all ready to get on your case again_

_Cherryblossomdom: but that's actually really sweet_

_Cherryblossomdom: I didn't know you had it in you :P_

_Sweetsilversub: i'm sweet :(_

_Sweetsilversub: it's in my NAME_

_Sweetsilversub: why does no one believe me???_

_Sweetsilversub: *sighs_

_Cherryblossomdom: you forgot *dramatically_

_Sweetsilversub: *sighs dramatically_

_Cherryblossomdom: still don't believe you_

_Sweetsilversub: i'm wounded_

_Cherryblossomdom: I hope you're sweeter to him than you are to us online, lol_

_Sweetsilversub: :(_

_Sweetsilversub: *pouts_

_Cherryblossomdom: you should apologize to Marcos, at any rate_

_Sweetsilversub: I know_

_Sweetsilversub: I will_

_Cherryblossomdom: maybe get him something_

_Cherryblossomdom: like an apology gift_

_Sweetsilversub: hmm?_

_Sweetsilversub: what kind of gift?_

_Cherryblossomdom: you know, nothing says “i'm sorry” like a convertible_

_Sweetsilversub: I WILL DISCONNECT ON YOU_

_Cherryblossomdom: roflmao_

 

 

 

 

 

In the weeks after their conversation at the beach, Victor did his best to push Yuuri as his coach while supporting him as a potential partner. And amazingly enough, Yuuri seemed to warm towards Victor's physical contact, even if it was still only in a casual capacity. Sometimes Yuuri would get this determined look as their eyes met that made Victor's knees go weak. Sometimes Victor would catch Yuuri staring at him with a blush dusting his cheeks. They were working on it. But at least now they had an understanding.

Yuuri was practicing so hard, putting in so many hours, that Victor would have feared for his health if he hadn't witnessed the man's incredible stamina first hand. It made him feel old, but it made him feel proud all at once? Even with his stamina though, he was still only human.

“Victor, I need to stop at the store on our way back” Yuuri informed him as they left the rink. Victor took in the man's drained state and didn't think that was a good idea.

“Are you sure it can't wait until tomorrow? It's a rest day anyway, and you look pretty worn out... I should probably get you home and in bed as soon as possible.”

“Ah, it's for my feet though” Yuuri explained almost sheepishly, “I realized yesterday I'm out of ointment, and I can't go another day...”

“ _Yuuri_ ” Victor chided, not liking him cutting it close for something so important. “Hmm, isn't there any ointment in Yu-topia's first aid kit?” he asked.

“Hai, but it's for emergencies, I don't like to dip into it if I don't have to.”

“How about this, we'll use it tonight and buy another fresh one tomorrow. Then you can trade them out and continue to use the one you dipped into” Victor reasoned.

“That... That sounds like a good idea” Yuuri blinked.

It was an extra six blocks on their trip if they went right now, and Yuuri looked tired enough that he might actually let Victor put him to bed as soon as they got home. Or at least, after he'd eaten and his feet were tended to. Victor couldn't help it, he hovered around Yuuri, making sure he had everything he needed once they got back. Food seemed to help, but the man was obviously flagging.

“Get the kit for me?” Yuuri asked, already collapsed into one of the few chairs at the Inn.

“I don't know... You didn't say the magic word...” Victor teased, but he was already headed over.

“Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. Please?”

“So literal... I'll never mind if you just tell me what you want me to do, Yuuri” Victor tutted as he opened the plastic case.

“Hmm... You mentioned something like that before too” Yuuri smiled tiredly, thinking of Yurio's challenge all those weeks ago. “Are you submissive?” he heard himself ask.

It took a second for his brain to catch up to what his mouth had just done. On one hand he considered it a logical conclusion, one that made so many of Victor's quirks fall into place... On the other hand, Yuuri was _mortified_ that he had just asked something so incredibly, deeply personal like that out of the blue. That he had asked it _at all_ , ever. What the hell was wrong with him?

Victor tensed, his fingers gripping the first aid kit tightly for a moment. His only saving grace was that he hadn't been looking directly at Yuuri when he heard the question. His senses suddenly became hyper aware, like time was slowing down around him, giving him an extra chance to absorb every nuance and stimuli.

He could _feel_ the beat of his own heart as it thudded in his chest. The startled breath he took in sounded like the rush of a freight train to his ears.

Had he been that obvious?

He had dismissed 247's advice to 'drop hints', so he hadn't been watching for any reaction like this...

Victor practically prided himself on his polished exterior and camera-charming smile. He had masks, and he admitted it. He _owned_ it. Granted, he hadn't had much use for them lately in Hasetsu. Or around Yuuri in general... Captivating, courageous Yuuri, who never gave up and who Victor was falling for a little more each day. Despite the very different picture he'd been presented with upon arriving here, as opposed to at the banquet, Victor couldn't help liking what he saw. Loving it, if he was being honest.

And also, was this really _happening_? How could _Yuuri_ have been the one to bring _that_ up? Unless... Unless he was into the lifestyle as well... Holy shit, Yuuri was into the Dom/sub lifestyle. Was it even possible that Victor could get that completely, inexplicably lucky? Or was this coming from some other place?...

God, if there was ever a time to take a chance... If there was ever someone worth taking a chance _on_... Victor hazarded a glance at the man beside him, thinking about _communication_. It was immediately apparent that Yuuri was in the beginning stages of freaking out about what he'd just said. So it hadn't been a deliberate ploy then...

“I mean!... I'm so sorry, Victor! I shouldn't have... _that_... or anything about, _things_ ” Yuuri sputtered.

Victor smiled.

“Actually, I am” he said, less firmly than he'd meant to, but still. It was out there. A weight simultaneously lifted off his shoulders and settled onto his chest. Victor searched Yuuri's face, waiting for the declaration to sink in.

It hit Yuuri mid-apology. What Victor had just said. How Victor had just responded to his ridiculously inappropriate question. Normally when Yuuri was embarrassed, the last thing he wanted to do was make eye contact. But his gaze snapped to Victor's, brown and blue both battling the same tension suddenly filling the air.

“Oh. Ok” Yuuri said dumbly, unable to look away. Was he blushing? He couldn't tell. Was the earth still spinning? He had no clue. Probably not. “That's... Ok. Alright.”

Victor blinked, but the expression on his face didn't change. It was very carefully neutral as he finally took the ointment out of the kit.

Yuuri's vision distilled down to a series of snapshots, watching as Victor approached. Slowly, the silver haired man sank to his knees. He placed a gentle hand on Yuuri's ankle. It was an asking of permission if Yuuri had ever seen one. There was no breath in Yuuri's lungs to respond, so he just nodded.

The smile Victor gave as he ducked his head was small and private. So different from any smile Yuuri had seen on the man before. It made his heart lurch possessively to think that it was _for him_. Yuuri watched with rapt attention as Victor removed his house slippers. Every movement was deliberate as socks were rolled down, removed, and folded. Those clever fingers made short work of his ankle wraps, unbandaging each foot in turn. Victor kept his eyes on his work while he squeezed out the ointment and rubbed it onto Yuuri's abused feet.

 

Yuuri was in shock. He might have been in cardiac arrest. His obituary was going to say that he'd been killed by a foot massage. He wanted to groan at how good it felt, but that would have required breathing.

“Is this ok?...” Victor asked softly, licking his lips in apparent nervousness.

Yuuri's lungs suddenly started working again, and he decided uncertainty wasn't something he wanted to see on Victor.

“It would be better if you looked at me” Yuuri told him breathlessly.

Victor's hands paused for a second as he lifted his eyes to meet Yuuri's. Then he picked up his ministrations again with a blush. Yuuri reached down to cup Victor's face, wanting to reassure the man that his actions were welcome.

“Good...” he said softly as he stroked a thumb over Victor's cheek.

Blue eyes widened as Yuuri watched, filling with a nearly unfathomable emotion. Again Yuuri brushed over Victor's skin, finding it addictive. The man kneeling in front of him drew a shaky breath, as if he was having an entirely different kind of trouble than breathing. Yuuri watched as Victor _melted_ into his palm. A surge of satisfaction stronger than anything Yuuri had felt before ran through him. Victor seemed similarly affected, looking as if he wanted to convey something but was unable to form words.

“It's ok,” Yuuri murmured, “You're doing so well. That feels fantastic.”

Victor was dying. He was dead. He had died, and _somehow_ made it into heaven. Because there was no experience on earth that could compare to Yuuri's quiet praise. Before he could think whether to stop it or not, a needy, _needy_ noise came out of his throat, like a small, stunned sort of whine. He wasn't sure if it would be too much for the tremulous edge of the moment... But that noise belonged to Yuuri, so he should give it to him anyway, shouldn't he?

“ _Victor_...” Yuuri's voice drew the kneeling man out of his own thoughts and back to the task at hand. Victor's eyes blinked open, though he didn't remember closing them. The look on Yuuri's face was intense, like ownership could be written over Victor's skin with just a gaze alone. And in that moment, Victor believed it could be.

“I... I feel like I should confess something here” Yuuri said, his gaze softening just a bit, “I haven't exactly done this before... I mean, I identify as a dominant, don't get me wrong. I just haven't, exactly... Had any sort of _relationship_ with anyone before...”

Victor blinked at him, absorbing the information slowly in his current state.

“Oh...” he tilted his head further into Yuuri's palm, “Neither have I...”

“Really?” Yuuri asked, feeling both privileged and unworthy all at once.

“Hmm. There wasn't anyone I trusted like that” Victor murmured into the skin of Yuuri's wrist. Then the silver haired man placed a gentle kiss there, a prayer and offering from the deepest part of himself. Victor knew he had a tendency to come off too strong, but he hoped with every fiber of his being that Yuuri wouldn't be scared away this time.

The instant in time that Victor's lips first touched Yuuri's skin was going to be emblazoned on the Japanese man's mind forever. It was now his brightest memory and he wasn't sure anything would ever outshine it.

“So, you wouldn't mind figuring things out with me as we go?” Yuuri confirmed, feeling more and more sure of this the longer Victor knelt in front of him. The hesitance he'd felt, the last little barrier he'd been afraid to push past in starting a relationship with Victor, faded away at seeing the man's trust in him.

Victor's eyes fluttered closed and he expelled his answer in a sigh, “Anything you want...”

Yuuri's hand stilled from where his thumb was moving over Victor's cheek.

“Hey, look at me” Yuuri said, his face serious, “This isn't just about me. What you want matters too, Victor... Even when you're on your knees, we're still both equals here.”

Victor choked a little on the sudden emotion in his throat. God, he was making the same silly, first time mistakes he never understood from others online. He just told a dom ' _anything'_ in the heat of the moment... But part of him really did want to give Yuuri _everything_...

“Thank you, for that” Victor managed to reply shakily, “I, I know we are, it's just, a little overwhelming.” He was still struggling with reigning in his galloping heart, and with the disbelief that this was actually happening.

“Do you want to come up here?” Yuuri asked, seeing that Victor was kind of losing the battle for his composure. But the last thing Victor wanted was to get off his knees right now. He shook his head vigorously, making a huffing noise as he did.

“Ok...” the sitting man murmured soothingly, “Ok... How about this...” Yuuri slid his hand around to the back of Victor's neck and urged him closer, until his silver bangs were pressed between cheek and thigh. Victor virtually collapsed against Yuuri's lap, letting the firm touch ground him as his emotions raged. He was done rubbing the ointment into Yuuri's feet anyway, so he wrapped his arms around the man's legs in a tight embrace.

“Shh, I've got you” Yuuri whispered, feeling like normal speech was too rough for the experience they were sharing. He wasn't about to tell Victor anything ridiculous like to 'calm down'. It was an honor in his book, to be trusted with the man's vulnerabilities.

Victor's breathing eventually evened out, and his heart slowed to a comfortable rhythm. How could he be anything but content when Yuuri was holding him? He soaked in the feel of the hand on his neck and committed the firmness of Yuuri's thigh to his permanent memory. If there were a few damp spots on Yuuri's sweats when they finally pulled apart, neither of them commented on it.

“As absolutely incredible as this is, I'm kind of exhausted” Yuuri admitted, his eyes drooping, “I don't want to insult you by nodding off.”

“I'm not offended. You worked hard today” Victor smiled beatifically. He felt full of wonder, and even a tentative _joy_ , at the shift that had developed tonight.

“Well, my coach is really strict with me...but I know it's because he wants me to be my best” Yuuri replied.

“It sounds like he really cares about you” Victor commented, wanting Yuuri to be sure in tonight's events too.

“I know... And, I really care about him too” Yuuri affirmed, reaching out to give Victor's hand a squeeze. They both smiled at each other for a moment, but then Yuuri yawned.

“We need to go over details...” Yuuri said, glancing at the clock, “But it's getting late... We should discuss all this more in the morning?”

“Of course, we'll talk then” Victor agreed. Before he stood up though, he placed a hand on Yuuri's knee.

“But, Yuuri?”

“Yes?”

“We _are_ going to try this though, right?” Victor asked, his voice laced with equal parts hesitation and hope.

“Yes, I'd like to. I would be honored to get to know you better. As long as our tastes aren't totally misaligned...  I'm kind of mild as a dom?” Yuuri admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

“That, actually sounds perfect... I'm not really into pain?” Victor offered, knowing it was his biggest divergence from the 'typical' sub profile.

Yuuri smiled at hearing that, and Victor had no doubts that this was going to work out spectacularly.

Victor smiled back.

Wordlessly, he helped pull Yuuri out of the chair and then collected the first aid kit. Yuuri waited for him, rubbing his eyes sleepily as Victor turned back around. His heart swelled with fondness, that this amazing, adorable man could be so perfect for him. Victor quickly put the kit away and took Yuuri's arm, walking with him down the hall.

“Thank you, again, for the foot rub. It helped a lot” Yuuri said as they parted ways at his bedroom door.

“I'm glad” Victor smiled. He was afraid to say too much, get too far ahead of himself, so he left it at that. “See you in the morning, Yuuri.”

“Yeah, in the morning...” Yuuri nodded, still smiling, “Goodnight, Victor.”

“Goodnight.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as the boys chatting online goes, I imagine it's quite rare these days since they spend almost every waking moment training/in each other's company. So it probably only happens when one of them miraculously has a bit of energy left before bed, and therefore it's rarely at the same time. 
> 
> That being said, feel free to imagine them both laying in their separate beds talking to each other about their boyfriends in that one section “ヽ(´▽｀)ノ”
> 
> Just for the record I have nothing against Tauruses, they're just a bad match for Sagittarius and some OC's are really into that sort of thing, apparently... 
> 
> Also, I'm a terrible tease, sorry not sorry ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ


	5. Light me up again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jumpin' right into it ;)

“Victor, is your submission sexual?...” Yuuri asked him.

That was not what Victor had been expecting to hear first thing out of Yuuri's mouth.

“Hm, that depends on what you mean...” Victor smiled. He didn't mind getting right down to it after all. “Do you mean to ask if I express my submission through mostly sexual means? Or are you asking if my submission carries over to sexual acts at all?”

“Um... Both?” Yuuri answered, blushing.

Victor turned halfway on the edge of the bed, making it easier to look at each other. Yuuri turned to meet him as well, taking Victor's hand in his own. Victor's heart gave a happy flip in his chest.

“In the interest of being fair, I'd have to say 'I think so' to either one” Victor replied. “As I said last night, I haven't had a submissive relationship before. It's one thing to think about having certain things done to you...but sometimes you don't really know until you try them...”

Yuuri's thumb moved in gentle circles against the back of Victor's hand.

“Do you think...it _has_ to be? Sexual?” Yuuri asked, like he had been working all his nerve up toward that question.

“Oh” Victor said without thinking, his brain stumbling in it's tracks. He could see an intense blush climbing up Yuuri's face while he waited for a response.

“I've been making an incredible ass of myself, haven't I?” Victor answered as he looked down, blushing profusely as well.

“No! Well, I mean, kind of... But only sort of. It's just... I'm demisexual?” Yuuri admitted, hoping he didn't have to explain it too much.

Victor's mind silently supplied a helpful, 'oh thank god' to him.

“That actually explains a lot...” Victor offered aloud, “Are you sure I didn't upset you by coming on so strong?”

“No, no, I'm not _upset_... Wait. You really have been hitting on me the whole time?!!?!” Yuuri asked incredulously.

“ _Yuuri_ ” Victor chided, tilting his head to the side, “I'm falling a little farther for you every day here.” He punctuated his statement by lacing his fingers with Yuuri's and squeezing them gently.

“Oh” Yuuri said. “I... So am I, actually” he finally added.

Since they were both blushing like school girls already, Victor didn't see any harm in asking another pressing question.

“Do you think I'm someone that you could be attracted to eventually?” he asked hesitantly.

Yuuri didn't have to think about the answer though.

“I kind of already am?... I mean I'm definitely not ready for sex, I just mean... You're gorgeous? And so attractive it defies logic sometimes?” Yuuri rambled, blinking like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Victor's insides squirmed with the praise. He gave Yuuri's fingers a firmer squeeze.

“I certainly don't mind taking things slow, Yuuri. I've been quite enjoying getting to know you” Victor confessed. “There's a lot we could do that isn't sexual. Sensual, maybe, but you'll have to tell me where your limits are.”

“Ok. I can do that” Yuuri nodded, “The foot rub was great, you can do that any time.”

Victor grinned.

“Oh, really?”

“Well, not _any_ time, you know what I meant, Victor” Yuuri's blush increased again, but he was smiling.

“Such a terrible tease, Yuuri” Victor replied, none of his demeanor matching the pout in his voice.

“You'll live” Yuuri told him, his eyes firm.

The moment felt defining to Victor, like his whole life he'd been walking around with a surreal sort of film over his experiences, and Yuuri had just ripped away the covering.

“Would you let me dress you?” Victor asked, figuring he might as well go for broke.

“In what way?” Yuuri asked, genuinely curious, but with a hint of mimicry for Victor's earlier response.

“The regular way” Victor tutted, barely refraining from sticking his tongue out at the man.

Yuuri chuckled. It was a warm and inviting sound and Victor wanted to curl up around it forever.

“Any clothes are fine, but I'd love it if you let me put your suit on you the next time you wear it. I like helping, being useful...” Victor admitted.

“I think I can accommodate that” Yuuri nodded, looking hopeful.

It gave Victor an opening to go into likes and dislikes in more detail. He'd already discovered that with Yuuri, he responded best when Victor made himself a little vulnerable first. Putting his thoughts in those terms made a tingle of anticipation run up Victor's spine. He hoped Yuuri turned out to be as possessive as the hints he'd seen indicated...

“As I said before, I'm not a masochist. I don't do pain for pain's sake alone” Victor offered, “Though I don't mind if some is _lightly_ interspersed with pleasure...not that we'll be going there yet. I just thought you should know.”

“I don't think I could bring myself to cause you _damage_ ” Yuuri confessed, looking somber, “So that's good.”

There was a moment of silence, and Victor prepared himself to take another 'turn' if Yuuri needed it.

“I want your attention” Yuuri said firmly, just shy of having let the silence go on too long, “I won't ever want to _share_. I know some people are into that. But I'm not.”

Victor nodded happily.

“You have it. And me.”

“Good” Yuuri beamed. Victor pulled their clasped hands up to press against his chest, right over his pounding heart. He was going to bring up his main kink in return when the other man beat him to it.

“You have a thing for praise, don't you...” Yuuri said softly, more like a statement than a question.

Victor's eyes widened at the declaration.

“How did you guess?” he finally settled on teasing, knowing the growing blush on his cheeks was all the proof Yuuri needed.

“Because of the way you react whenever I do it” Yuuri explained, giving Victor a look like it was obvious. And maybe it was.

“It _is_ what made me start to identify with the lifestyle in the beginning” Victor divulged. “It's a definite thing. Probably my biggest _thing_...” he added somewhat coyly.

Yuuri nodded, staring intently at the other man's face as he spoke.

“I can think of a few ways I'd prefer to dominate someone,” Yuuri replied, “To dominate you.”

Victor's pulse quickened.

“And believe me, there'd be a lot of praise if you're obedient” Yuuri assured. “I have no problem with that.”

“What kind of things?” Victor asked a bit breathlessly.

“For starters, if we're going to enter into a relationship, I'd like to mark you as mine. Not anything permanent, just a small gesture is fine for now. Like wearing something I've given you, or maybe painting your nails to match my outfit if we go out. That kind of thing.”

“Hmmm, so you do have a possessive streak” Victor purred, very much on board with that. Anything that cemented him as being Yuuri's more firmly was a good idea in his book.

“And when we introduce each other, you're _my_ coach. I'm not _your_ student” Yuuri added with equal firmness.

Victor smiled widely.

“I'd like that.”

“Good” Yuuri smiled back.

“I'd want to try restraining you as well” Yuuri said point blank, “There are ways we could try it without it being about sex.”

“That sounds fabulous” Victor assured him, feeling nearly lightheaded just at the thought.

“If you think you'd trust me with it...”

“I would.”

After a moment of both thinking to themselves that they were ridiculously lucky, Yuuri spoke again.

“I think our tastes are pretty similar then... As long as... I, um... Ugh, there really isn't a nice way to say this, so I'm just going to do it” Yuuri suddenly straightened his back, “I'm not into anything like urine, blood play, or you know, um, more extreme stuff like that.”

Victor had far too much experience talking to other subs online for those particular subjects to throw him.

“Neither am I, so please don't worry that I'll ever ask for something like that. Because I won't” Victor shook his head. “Um, you don't want me to call you 'daddy', do you?...” he asked hesitantly.

Yuuri's face screwed up in a weird look and he shook his head as well, “No, not at all.”

“Good” Victor let out a sigh. “I know it's pretty common with these sort of relationships, but it just doesn't work for me. No offense to people who do like it...” Victor shrugged.

Yuuri nodded.

Then he snorted.

Victor gave him a quizzical look.

Yuuri covered his face with his hands and laughed.

“What?” Victor asked, perplexed by the sudden outburst.

“Oh god. I can't stop picturing you at the beach, asking if I wanted you to be a father figure to me” Yuuri giggled.

A grown man giggling into his palms should not be as adorable as it was to Victor.

“Yuuuuuuuri” he mock whined, “You're wounding me! I didn't mean it _like that_ , and you know it!”

Yuuri just laughed harder.

Victor couldn't help but be overcome as well, especially since Yuuri uncovered his face and laughed openly with him. Their fingers twined together again, and they held on tight as the joy they'd found in each other worked it's way through their laughter.

 

 

 

 

 

_90degreedom: all I can say is I'm glad you don't have my address_

_Sweetsilversub: hey, I spent a lot of time finding that gif :(_

_90degreedom: better a gif than an actual convertible_

_Sweetsilversub: I can't believe I'm friends with someone who wouldn't accept a free convertible_

_90degreedom: oh, I didn't say I wouldn't accept it_

_90degreedom: it would just be a bitch to register and insure_

_Sweetsilversub: insure?_

_90degreedom: …_

_90degreedom: are you kidding me right now?_

_90degreedom: 3s_

_90degreedom: 3s, seriously._

_90degreedom: it's a good thing you're pretty..._

_Sweetsilversub: sorry, I had to make a call real quick..._

_Sweetsilversub: you think i'm pretty? <3_

_Sweetsilversub: you don't even know what I look like :P_

_90degreedom: you act/talk/think like a person who's never questioned their desirability a day in their lives_

_90degreedom: and don't think you can distract me from the topic at hand_

_90degreedom: cbd may be naïve enough to believe you only rented it, but you and I both know that's not true_

_Sweetsilversub: :(_

_Sweetsilversub: I did tell him the truth about that after all_

_Sweetsilversub: but the point of this conversation was never supposed to be about the car_

_90degreedom: I said I accepted your apology, I was just trying to lighten the mood_

_Sweetsilversub: I know, and i'm glad_

_Sweetsilversub: but I was going to use that as a segue into admitting I took your advice as well_

_Sweetsilversub: of sorts_

_Sweetsilversub: but then I got distracted by the gif hunt_

_90degreedom: ^^_

_90degreedom: and which advice was that?_

_Sweetsilversub: the one about communicating_

_Sweetsilversub: my bf and I talked :)_

_90degreedom: hm, smiley face at the end, i'm guessing it went well?_

_Sweetsilversub: so well :)_

_Sweetsilversub: like, beyond my wildest dreams, well <3_

_Sweetsilversub: he wants to try_

_Sweetsilversub: and we'll work out what works for us as we go_

_90degreedom: i'm so happy for you, 3s_

_Sweetsilversub: thank you <3_

_90degreedom: seriously, I know how much of a leap of faith it can be to have that convo with a person irl_

_90degreedom: i'm proud of you_

_Sweetsilversub: thanks :)_

_Sweetsilversub: *waits for it_

_90degreedom: lol_

_90degreedom: and_

_90degreedom: I_ _did_ _tell you so_

_Sweetsilversub: there it is ;D_

_90degreedom: :P_

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Victor, I have something for you, if you have a minute” Yuuri asked. Victor always had a minute for Yuuri, no matter how late it was.

“Of course” he replied, giving the man an inviting smile.

Yuuri came the rest of the way into Victor's room, shutting the door behind him.

“I know we talked about you being marked as mine” Yuuri began, “And what I ordered came in the mail today.”

Victor's interest was immediately piqued.

“It's an armband, the kind you're meant to wear around your bicep” Yuuri explained. “I wanted it to be something discreet, and that absolutely wouldn't interfere with your day to day life and become annoying.”

“Can I see it?” Victor asked, wowed by the detail of Yuuri's thoughtfulness.

The man nodded, pulling a simple black piece of fabric out of his pocket. Victor could tell it had a bit of elastic to it in order to keep it in place. With his heart speeding up, Victor pulled his shirt off and offered his arm, ready and willing to accept Yuuri's claim.

“Kneel for me” Yuuri instructed.

Victor obeyed right away, his stomach fluttering.

As Yuuri slipped the fabric over Victor's wrist, he paused to catch his eye.

“Circles... Well, they're important in Japanese culture. I want you to understand, this is something private,” Yuuri told him, “Just for us.”

“Of course” Victor nodded solemnly.

Yuuri finished sliding the armband into place, running gentle fingers around it afterward. Victor shivered at the contact, feeling quite claimed indeed. The rub of the fabric was new, but Victor almost hoped he'd never get used to it. He didn't want to ever forget that he belonged to this incredible man.

“Someday, I... Um, I don't want to rush things though...” Yuuri started to say. He backtracked and rubbed the back of his neck.

Victor used his free hand to brush at the base of his own throat.

“Someday. When we're _both_ ready” he said reassuringly. “This is perfect for now though. It's actually incredibly clever, I'll hardly ever have to take it off” Victor smiled.

“I'm glad you like it then” Yuuri smiled back.

They said their 'goodnights' shortly after that, and Victor finished getting ready for bed. As soon as he crawled under the covers though, he knew any true rest was going to be evasive tonight.

“Makkachin” Victor groaned, pulling his poodle close, “How am I supposed to _sleep_ after that?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Yuuri's first hurdle of the Chugoku, Shikoku, and Kyushu Championship was finally done with, he breathed a sigh of relief. His age-old nervousness had made a strong appearance, and his normal coping methods only went so far. Thankfully he hadn't gone into a full on panic attack. There was more pressure in general this year due to Victor's expectations. But at the same time, _Victor_ , and everything he encompassed, was something Yuuri wouldn't trade for the world.

He knew the way he had been acting might have seemed strange to the man, but Yuuri hoped that as someone who was used to competitions, he would understand. The distinction between their private and professional lives had remained, with Victor as his strict and dutiful coach the entire time. Well, maybe the lip gloss thing had been a bit overboard from a coaching perspective... But that was just part of who Victor was as a person.

As much as Yuuri was mulling over the event's happenings, he didn't expect Victor to have been thinking about them just as much.

The moment they walked in the door of Yu-topia, he felt Victor's hand wrap around his wrist and his thumb brush deliberately over Yuuri's pulse point. He glanced at Victor questioningly, but immediately took his hand and squeezed it back, accepting the upcoming request as being from his sub.

“Let's unpack right away, so we can just relax for the rest of the evening.”

“Sure” Yuuri nodded, wondering what was going on.

Once they got down the hallway, Victor followed Yuuri into his room. He dropped to his knees right away, looking up at Yuuri with an unaccustomed uncertainty on his face.

“Are you upset with me?” Victor asked.

“What? No, of course not. Why would I be?” Yuuri was caught off guard.

Victor seemed to relax at hearing that, but he still wasn't smiling.

“It's just the way you acted during the championship, you were so distant at times... It wasn't because of the things I did, was it?” Victor wanted to know.

“You? Not at all. I...” Yuuri ran his hands through his hair in frustration, a frustration that was entirely with himself, “I was just so nervous. I told you, I'm mentally weak, Victor. I would have been that way no matter what 'coaching style' you had.”

“Ok...” Victor replied. Then he added more firmly, “Because I care about you too much to be less of a coach to you than I'm able. I know I'm not perfect, but I refuse to not try to be as good of one as I can.”

“Should we really be having this conversation with you on your knees?” Yuuri questioned.

“I'm the same person whether I'm on my knees or not, Yuuri” Victor chided him.

Yuuri knew that, but the fact that Victor felt he needed to point it out gave Yuuri pause.

“When I'm on my knees, I'm still your coach, I still want you to be the best _you_ possible. And when we're in the rink, I'm still your sub, I still want to serve you, it's just a different expression of it” Victor told him.

Yuuri nodded, beginning to see where he was going with this.

“And even though the two may look very different from the outside, you're not meant to be part of that. You're supposed to be on the 'in' side with me” Victor implored.

Oh- Yuuri's mind finally put it all together -he thinks I'm regretting this.

With a single step, Yuuri closed the distance between them, putting his hands on either side of Victor's face so there would be no misunderstanding.

“I am on your side” he said, “It wasn't you, and you need to believe me on that. I've struggled before my performances my entire life, Victor, ask _anyone_.”

Victor searched his face, but Yuuri went on.

“I know everything you've done was to try and help me be the best, and I appreciate it, _so_ _much_.”

“You left the arena...” Victor brought up, the unspoken implication 'to get away from him'.

Yuuri sighed.

“I don't know if you've figured this out about me yet, but I'm actually an introvert?... That on top of the stress of competing... It just gets overwhelming for me, and I need to get away from everything to have any hope of focusing. But just so you know, that _doesn't_ include you. If you'd followed me, I would have been fine with that. Being around you isn't exhausting like it sometimes is with other people...”

Victor's eyes widened to the size of saucers at his declaration, and he buried his face into Yuuri's stomach a second later. Yuuri held him tightly, afraid he'd made the man cry for a moment...but Victor only clung to him, which was a relief. He hoped it would be comforting, so he began running his fingers through Victor's silver locks.

“I'm actually really glad that you called me out on being a jerk to Minami. That's not the kind of person I want to be.”

“It's not the kind of person you _are_ , that's part of why it was so upsetting to me” Victor answered, not moving from his spot wrapped around Yuuri.

“I'm sorry” Yuuri told him, soft and sincere and for so many things.

Victor squeezed him tighter upon hearing it, but then gradually let go altogether.

“I believe you. And I forgive you. I guess I just got frightened that I wasn't what you wanted after all. I can't be anything other than me...”

“Oh. You thought I'd be upset with you, _as your dom_ ” Yuuri realized.

“There are stories out there...of subs entering into relationships and slowly, or even suddenly, losing their autonomy... I didn't expect that of you, at all. But I wasn't sure what was happening, and the thought that you might be upset with me just got stuck in my head...” Victor confided.

“I _wouldn't_ ever do that” Yuuri promised him, “You have every right to question me, argue with me, ask for the things you want. Even if we're in the middle of an actual scene.”

Victor raised an eyebrow.

“Vitya, if you tell me 'yellow' or 'red', do you believe I'll honor that?” Yuuri rephrased the implication.

“Of course.”

“Then you shouldn't hesitate to speak up at _any_ time,” Yuuri told him, putting his foot down.

Victor smiled up at him, looking relieved.

“You're an amazing man, Katsuki Yuuri.”

“Well, I don't know about that...but you're helping me get there, at any rate. I do have to admit, I had been kind of separating the two things in my mind... Our private, and our professional lives... But you're completely right. We're still both the same people all the time, and I need to work on that.”

“Hmm, I don't think that you've been keeping them quite as separate as you think” Victor suggested. “You do preform better when you're trying to seduce me” he winked.

Yuuri grinned, stroking his thumb down the side of Victor's face.

“I guess you're right... But that's _on the ice_ though, that's different.”

“Oh, _on the ice_ , hm? I guess that _is_ different” Victor conceded, smiling back.

The two of them chuckled to themselves, and Yuuri continued holding Victor for a while. As Victor knelt there, soaking in Yuuri's affection, he marveled at how complicated people and relationships could be. He hadn't ever bothered to get to know someone this deeply before; he hadn't ever been emotionally invested in doing so. It was a little scary at times, but definitely rewarding as well. It might even be the most rewarding thing he'd ever done.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Victor has probably had lots of people who were exhausted by his presence over the years, so I think that particular declaration would have hit him pretty hard <3


	6. And I want to keep this all alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So,  
> 1\. Victor shows up in Hasetsu in the spring  
> 2\. Yurio finds him, issues his challenge, and is gone all within like a week-ish time frame  
> 3\. The figure skating season starts July 1st  
> 4\. Grand Prix = fall championships???
> 
> Look at how much time is left wide open in there folks. Just look at it. Conceivably 3 to 4 MONTHS between Episodes 5 and 6 to play around in... “ヽ(´▽｀)ノ”

At Yuuri's instruction, Victor followed him to his room after they were done bathing. They'd been sticking to foot massages and kneeling in general, taking things slow as agreed. But now Yuuri had a reason to wear his suit, and he hadn't forgotten Victor's request. As soon as the door was shut, Yuuri reached up and placed his hand on the back of Victor's neck. Immediately his silver head bowed, accepting the request for submission.

“Don't get on your knees just yet” Yuuri said, rubbing his thumb over pale skin. “A press conference is a formal event. I'd like your help getting ready. Is that something you're willing to give me?” Yuuri asked. He didn't feel nervous asking for this spur of the moment, since he knew it was something the other man wanted already.

“Yes, _of course_ ” Victor agreed excitedly.

“Then get me dressed” Yuuri said calmly, defying the tremble in the pit of his own stomach. He and Victor had seen each other naked countless times in the onsen, so it was no big deal to let his robe fall away. Victor's eyes sparkled in gratitude, and he quickly hurried over to Yuuri's chest of drawers. He retrieved underwear, socks, and a belt, laying most of the items out on the bed. The only suit Yuuri owned was already hanging on the closet door.

In one graceful motion, Victor sank to his knees. There was a radiant smile on his face as he touched Yuuri's ankle, urging him to raise it. Unhurried, he slid one side of the underwear on, then repeated the gesture with Yuuri's other foot.

The pull of the fabric upward over Yuuri's thighs was a revelation. Who knew that putting clothes _on_ could be such a defining moment in a relationship? Victor leaned to the side, telegraphing his intentions, and placed a gentle kiss on Yuuri's clothed hip. What could have been taken in a sexual manner somehow transformed into _worshipful,_ through the line of Victor's body alone. The way he held himself and the sincerity on his face shouted a singular declaration. There was no one else in the world he gave this reverence to, this devotion, and it made Yuuri's heart swell.

“You're so remarkable, Vitya, always exceeding my expectations...” Yuuri told him, wonder lacing his voice.

Victor leaned his cheek against him for a moment before pulling back. The smile was still there, but a light blush had joined it. The kneeling man held his gaze for a heartbeat, much to Yuuri's enjoyment. Picking up a single sock at a time, Victor then slid them onto Yuuri's feet with equal care. He leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of each, like one would to their sleeping love.

Yuuri stayed where he was while Victor retrieved the suit pants, watching each little movement his sub made with awe. On his knees again, Victor stroked his dom's instep as he guided it to the leg of the trousers. He let the fabric pool on the ground for a moment in order to guide in the other, careful to not give it enough time to develop creases.

The lighting was purposefully low in the bedroom, and seeing Victor's hair gleam in it as he bent before Yuuri was a mesmerizing sight.

With one hand on each side of his waist, Victor drew up the pants, making sure to catch Yuuri's eyes again as he did so. Though he secured the zipper with nothing but professionalism, he did take the chance to smooth his palms down the sides of Yuuri's legs afterward, as if settling the fabric. Victor placed a chaste, yet lingering kiss to Yuuri's opposite hip.

“No one has ever given me something this exquisite, your submission is incredible, Vitya” Yuuri ran his fingers gently through Victor's hair as he praised him.

“You're more than welcome, my Yuuri” Victor whispered.

The delicate tone was unlike Victor's normal boisterous declarations. It made Yuuri wonder for his state of mind right now. But when Victor rose to fetch an undershirt, his eyes were clear and focused.

His sub slipped around to Yuuri's back, tracing down freshly washed skin from shoulders to wrists. Gently circling each with his fingers, Victor raised them outward and upward, keeping the line of their limbs straight throughout the sweep. Being a little taller, Victor was still able to slip the shirt over Yuuri's up-stretched arms. He urged it down in one slow, continuous motion, reveling in his dom's natural poise in even this smallest of things.

Yuuri lowered his arms on his own, though no less gracefully, and Victor set to tucking in the undershirt. He was careful to make his fingers behave. As he did so, he dipped his head down to give an adoring kiss to each of Yuuri's shoulders.

Victor almost wished Yuuri would wear _more_ clothes, so they wouldn't be halfway done already... This wasn't about delaying gratification though, so Victor pressed onward at the same steady pace. He started on Yuuri's dress shirt next, easing one arm and then the other into their sleeves. Still behind his dom, Victor adjusted the lay of the material until the lines were clean and centered. Then he began doing up Yuuri's buttons, tucking his arms under the other man's so he was practically hugging him from behind.

When the last button was secured, Victor placed a kiss at the base of Yuuri's neck. He left his own head bent, warm lips pressed against Yuuri's skin as his hands smoothed down the front of the fabric, tucking it in. Unfortunately, he had to break the contact eventually, and moved to fasten the cuffs of the shirt. There were only a few items left after that, so Victor planned it out in his head so he would finish on his knees, just as he had started.

Yuuri's belt was next, each loop threaded with precision as Victor knelt before him and stared up into his dom's eyes. He wanted to press a kiss over the buckle, but he knew that would be pushing at the line of being overtly sexual. And he never wanted to _push_ Yuuri's limits, now that he knew where they were.  Victor dropped his hands and leaned back when he was done with it.

“So you do have some self restraint...” Yuuri told him after the buckle was fastened, “I'm incredibly pleased, Vitya.”

Victor blushed at the mix of teasing praise.

“That's my goal” he admitted, smiling unashamedly.

Yuuri grinned back.

They were down to the home stretch at that point, so Victor stood one last time to slip Yuuri's suit jacket over his shoulders. He let himself have the luxury of raising an eyebrow at the familiar yet horrendous tie that was left on the hanger. But he brought it over and tucked it under Yuuri's collar without comment. He tied the knot with expert ease, letting his fingers trail over the edge of skin at Yuuri's throat only briefly.

Victor kept his gaze locked on his dom's, working from memory alone.

Yuuri, if he'd thought about it when he was younger, would have assumed Victor's undivided attention would make him a nervous wreck. The reality of it though, was that Yuuri felt more centered, more steady than he had in a long time. Like Victor leaning against him held him up as well.

“You're an amazing man, Victor Nikiforov” Yuuri said fondly, still somewhat in awe.

Victor waited until he was settled elegantly on his knees again to respond.

“Thank you for letting me show it to you.”

“How amazing you are?” Yuuri asked with another grin.

Victor nodded, matching Yuuri's smile with his own.

It made the dom chuckle, and he couldn't help running his fingers through his sub's hair again.

“It's my honor” he said with finality.

Victor kissed the inside of Yuuri's palm as it retreated.

Last but not least, Victor reached for the shoes laid out neatly at the foot of the bed.

“I brought these to the bedroom especially for you” Yuuri informed him.

Victor gave him a grateful smile, realizing how much thought and effort his dom had gone through to plan this out for him ahead of time.

The laces were already undone, but Victor adjusted them, pulling the tongue back to make sure there was room to slip it on. Yuuri placed a hand on Victor's shoulder while he bent his knee and kept his foot aloft.

Mindful of his toes, Victor positioned the shoe over them, slowly sliding it into place while his own heart raced. Should he be this affected by the way Yuuri's heel finally slotted in?

A small sigh escaped Victor, but he tried to stay focused on the task at hand. He was still cradling Yuuri's foot in his hands, and he took the opportunity to brush his thumbs over both sides of the man's ankle. He couldn't even be upset for the sock blocking him from Yuuri's skin, because Victor had put it there himself. He guided Yuuri's foot back to the ground and reached for the other shoe.

When Yuuri's foot pushed firmly into that one, Victor felt an honest to god _tingle_ at the base of his spine. He looked up to his dom's face, unsure if it was ok for him to be affected like this. Yuuri seemed quite pleased though. There was even the smallest hint of _amusement_ in his eyes.

Emboldened by the fragility in Victor's gaze, Yuuri put his hands on either side of the man's face. His thumbs caressed Victor's cheekbones in a mirroring of the touch his ankles had received.

“Vitya, can I kiss you?” Yuuri asked softly.

Victor sucked in a drowning breath, nodding his head from within the safety of Yuuri's hold.

“Out loud, Vitya” Yuuri instructed, wanting to set a precedent.

“Yes” Victor corrected breathlessly, “Yes, please.”

Tipping his sub's head up, Yuuri bent down, watching the aching disbelief in Victor's eyes as he got closer. It was the first time Yuuri had ever kissed someone of his own accord. It was the only one that mattered, in his mind. Victor was the only thing that had ever mattered to him like this.

Yuuri's own lips were slightly chapped, but Victor's were smooth and soft. Having the man pliant and willing beneath him gave Yuuri the courage to explore a little, to _take_ a little... He wanted to memorize the feel and texture of Victor's mouth as he moved his gently over it. He traced the line of Victor's upper lip, fit the fullness of the lower one in between his own. Yuuri graced each corner of his sub's mouth with a reverent kiss, almost able to taste the yearning in him.

When Yuuri pulled back, Victor looked star struck. The dom reluctantly removed his hands from his sub's face, so that he could get back on task. However, Victor instead sighed and fell backwards, arms outstretched to either side as if the kiss had ended him. Though Yuuri admired the flexibility it took, he didn't let him get away with it for long. It was hard to chastise the man when he had that adorable heart-shaped smile on his face, but they _were_ kind of in the middle of something here.

“Victor” Yuuri gently prodded.

The fact that it was his actual name and not an endearment had Victor blinking to attention right away.

“My shoelaces?” Yuuri raised an eyebrow, though he was still smiling.

“Ah! Of course! I'm sorry, Yuuri, I... I wasn't expecting that...” Victor admitted, resuming his kneeling position sort of sheepishly.

“It's ok... I like seeing your reactions” Yuuri reassured him, “I'm not upset. If anything, I'm really happy you liked it that much.”

Victor's smile was back as soon as those words left his dom's mouth. A mouth that had kissed him. _Yuuri_ had kissed _him_. Victor felt like bursting with happiness, like he would float away the moment he got off his knees, because Yuuri was the only thing grounding him.

Once he was done tying the laces, Victor straightened his posture. He remained on the ground though, palms turned up in his lap, ready just in case Yuuri asked anything else of him.

“That was fantastic, Vitya, thank you” his dom said while cupping Victor's cheek.

“I feel like I should be the one thanking you” Victor replied, nuzzling against his palm.

“Are you ready to sit on the bed with me?” Yuuri asked.

“Yes” Victor nodded, “I'm not down.”

“I didn't think so” Yuuri confirmed, “But it never hurts to check.”

There was no end to the depth of appreciation Victor had for this man's care and careful nature. They sat facing each other, holding hands again like the first time. In this case, it was more about continuing the intimacy of the scene than finding the courage for words.

“How do you feel?” Yuuri asked, studying Victor's face.

“Good- _Ecstatic_.” Victor amended right away.

“You can feel more than one thing, Victor, it's allowed” Yuuri squeezed his hand.

“There aren't enough words in any of the languages I know to describe _all_ of what I'm feeling” Victor said eloquently, squeezing back. “How do you feel?” he asked his dom in return.

“Incredible. It was like nothing I've ever felt before, having you serve me” Yuuri admitted.

“I'm so glad” Victor beamed.

“Me too” Yuuri concurred. “So, are we both in a state of mind to discuss how it went?” he asked next.

“Yes” Victor nodded firmly.

“Ok, what was your favorite part then?” Yuuri asked, looking like he already had a good idea of what the answer would be.

“The kiss” Victor replied without hesitation, “Though, putting your shoes on you would have been a close second.”

Yuuri blushed, but didn't look away.

“I'll make note of that. Which part did the least for you then?” he wanted to know.

Since Victor had seemed to enjoy all of it so much, Yuuri wasn't expecting him to have a 'dislike' ready to go just as quickly.

“Your tie” Victor frowned.

Yuuri blinked at him a few times.

“My tie? You didn't like doing it up?” Yuuri wondered specifically.

“No, I mean the tie itself. It's so outdated, Yuuri” Victor whined, like coming in contact with such cheap material had caused him physical pain. “It looks like the kind a boy would wear to his high school graduation.”

Yuuri blushed. He ran a hand over it as if to smooth it down.

“It's still a perfectly good tie, Victor.”

Victor's eyes narrowed.

“Tell me you did not actually wear that to your high school graduation.”

“Any other complaints, aside from my frugality?” Yuuri asked, giving Victor a look.

Victor sighed dramatically.

“No, I suppose not” he finally admitted.

“Alright then. My favorite part was the kiss too” Yuuri moved on, the look on his face softening, “Though I'd have to say watching you hold yourself back for me, respecting my limits, was a close second.”

Victor flushed, his pout turning back into a smile again.

“And I'd say my least favorite part was when it had to end” Yuuri informed him, giving Victor's hand another squeeze.

“Hmm, so if we get you a better tie, and I stay on my knees indefinitely, everybody wins” Victor crooned flirtatiously.

Yuuri laughed, bringing Victor's hand up to his heart.

“Something like that...” he replied. “Do you have any questions about what happened, or why?” Yuuri continued.

“Actually, I do” Victor spoke up. “The kiss? Was that just for the scene? Or, would it be acceptable to do at other times as well?...” he asked hopefully.

Yuuri kept Victor's hand over his heart and reached up to lay the other reassuringly on his sub's face.

“Now that I know what it can be like, what kissing _you_ is like, I definitely want to do it again. And not only as part of a scene” Yuuri assured him.

“Would _now_ be an acceptable time?” Victor wondered, tilting his head into Yuuri's palm.

“Keep in mind, I've got to leave for the press conference in half an hour” Yuuri reminded him, leaning forward.

“Ok” Victor replied a bit breathlessly as he leaned to meet him. Their second kiss was just as wonderful as the first, though still more introductory than anything else. Victor savored it, promising himself to never _ever_ take Yuuri's kisses for granted.

After a few glorious minutes of chaste and heartfelt kissing, they had to pull apart. A bit sheepishly, Yuuri explained that he wasn't actually planning on wearing his dress shoes through the house until it was time to leave.

“I just wanted you to get to have the full experience” he said.

“It's alright. Would you let me put them on you again when it's time?” Victor asked.

“You wouldn't mind? Doing that in front of everyone?” Yuuri clarified.

“I wouldn't” Victor smiled, waiting to see what the decision would be.

Yuuri took a moment to consider it, he didn't want to get caught up in the moment and agree to something without thinking it through.

“The only real problem I'd have with it would be that in this situation, I'm leaving right away. I wouldn't want to do something new without being there in case you needed me afterward” Yuuri explained.

Victor nodded, accepting.

“But in the future... We could test out something...more public?” Victor asked.

“I'd be willing to consider it” Yuuri told him.

Victor beamed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I don't have a name for that emotion, but I've decided to call it 'love'.”

 

“Hmm... When you come back, we'll burn that unfashionable necktie, Yuuri.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Tiedup247: statistically, it's 4 months_

_fantabulousnate: oh? Is that a scientific fact?_

_90degreedom: it's best not to question them about this sort of thing_

_90degreedom: there are charts_

_90degreedom: and spreadsheets_

_Tiedup247: don't forget the algorithm we wrote too!_

_fantabulousnate: omg_

_90degreedom: technically, it's 126 days, according to their research_

_fantabulousnate: and at no point in this 'research' did anybody stop and wonder, “are we in too deep?”..._

_Tiedup247: no_

_Tiedup247: why do you ask?_

_fantabulousnate: …_

_fantabulousnate: no reason_

_90degreedom: science doesn't lie_

_90degreedom: whether you believe it or not, the facts are there_

_Tiedup247: and nobody has talked to him in 6 weeks_

_fantabulousnate: unless 3s did without us knowing_

_Tiedup247: he doesn't count, he's practically on watch right now too :(_

_fantabulousnate: how is 6 weeks close to 126 days tho???_

_90degreedom: it's the second threshold_

_Tiedup247: exactly_

_Tiedup247: thresholds=4_

_Tiedup247: 1_ _st_ _threshold is 3 days longer than whatever their normal log-in pattern is_

_90degreedom: it indicates a minor absence, not necessarily anything to worry about_

_90degreedom: cbd did that pretty regularly_

_Tiedup247: 2_ _nd_ _threshold is 6 weeks_

_Tiedup247: much more serious_

_Tiedup247: if someone doesn't log in for that long, it means they're on the watch list_

_90degreedom: the third threshold is 4 months_

_Tiedup247: at 126 days the odds of them ever logging in again drop astronomically_

_Tiedup247: trust us, we are a scientist_

_90degreedom: ^^_

_fantabulousnate: so what's the 4_ _th_ _threshold then?_

_Tiedup247: one year_

_90degreedom: after a year without logging in, the website will automatically change your status to 'inactive'._

_Tiedup247: (×_×;_ _）_

_fantabulousnate: damn, it sucks to think of either of them not being into the lifestyle anymore :(_

_90degreedom: ..._

_90degreedom: not all who wander are lost, nate_

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Yuuri?...” Victor watched the man rinsing shampoo out of his hair.

“Hm?” Yuuri replied, his eyes blinking away the last of the water.

“Can I comb your hair when we're done bathing?” he asked, his thumb brushing over Yuuri's wrist.

A patron of the hot springs walked by just then on his way to an open stall, happening to catch Yuuri's eye. He ducked his head in embarrassment at having intruded on a private moment though, and moved quickly by.

It wasn't really Victor's fault that he had no idea how intimate of an act he was asking for...

Yuuri took a moment to give it the consideration it deserved, and found that honestly, he didn't mind at all. In fact, it made a warm sensation spread through him to think of Victor taking care of him as if they were _family_. He was probably blushing now, but he kept Victor's gaze while he put a hand on the back of his sub's neck.

“Yes. I'd like that” he finally replied.

“Ok,” Victor smiled, seeming to sense the seriousness of Yuuri's mood, “Thank you.”

They soaked in the hot spring for a bit once they were clean, each giving the other small smiles whenever their eyes met. Yuuri's heart fluttered in his chest while they dressed again afterward. In order to get back to the family rooms from the baths, they had to go through the main hall. Apparently the Nishigori family had arrived for a visit while the two of them were indisposed. Yuuri didn't want to put off Victor's request though, so he took the man's hand and motioned for him to follow quietly around the corner.

His sub's eyes sparkled at the mischief and he obeyed readily. Yuuri guided him down the hall, pausing to give a quick kiss to the back of his hand. Then he pulled Victor into his room with him. He preferred the softer, more natural light of a lantern for when Victor served him, so Yuuri lit one while Victor grabbed a comb.

It wasn't like Yuuri had an extravagant amount of hair, so he knew this would be quick. But Victor somehow still managed to draw it out and be thorough. First he ran his fingers through Yuuri's damp locks a few times, just getting a feel for it. Yuuri suspected that may have been half the appeal of the request for the man...

Gently, Victor began to use the actual comb. He teased out a few tangles, very careful not to pull on the scalp too hard. Yuuri's hair was mostly cooperative, being short, so all too soon the teeth of the comb were sliding through it freely. Victor continued with the motion long past effectiveness, enjoying the closeness of the act.

Yuuri's eyes slipped closed. Every sweep Victor made sent a tingling warmth down his spine. He couldn't think of a time he'd ever experienced such a feeling of _rightness_ before. It was like he could feel it settling into his core, into his bones, that Victor was becoming part of him.

Yuuri's eyes blinked open.

“We should head back out soon” he said.

Victor hummed affirmatively in response. He set the comb aside and came to kneel in front of Yuuri, just a quick checking in.

Yuuri studied him far more intensely than Victor had been expecting. Then hands came up to cradle his jaw.

“I love you” Yuuri said, touching Victor softly, like he couldn't believe he was real. He'd obviously taken a page out of Victor's book in his decision to be so direct.

Victor blushed, his eyes going wide.

“So, please...take care of me” Yuuri followed it up with, letting every bit of both his meanings fill the words.

“Of course” Victor managed to get out past the constriction in his throat. “I love you too, Yuuri.” He put his hands over Yuuri's where they were holding his face. Public, televised declarations were all well and good, but Yuuri hadn't actually said it in so many words to Victor's face yet, so it meant a lot to him.

Yuuri smiled a joyous, disbelieving smile, almost as if he hadn't really expected such a favorable outcome in his life.

Victor surged up and tackled him, hugging Yuuri tightly.

“Oh Yuuri, I'm so happy!” he exclaimed, rubbing his face into his dom's neck.

“Me too, Victor, me too” Yuuri laughed, holding on just as tight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_____________________________________________________________________

Um, tumblr, if anybody wants?  [phlintandsteel](http://phlintandsteel.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “ヽ(´▽｀)ノ”= happy
> 
> (×_×;）= dead


	7. And I want to see you with my eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HaHA, the end notes this time will actually contain things relevant to the story...

Yuuri wasn't a whiz at math. But he didn't need to be in order to know that a 30% success rate on his quad salchow wouldn't cut it. And don't even get him started on the quad flip. Literally. Because even with Victor's instruction, he had yet to land the jump correctly even once.

Not that he hadn't improved over all.

It was just nowhere near enough to do Victor's time and effort justice. Yuuri felt guilty sometimes, when he thought about how little return Victor got on his investment, coaching wise. It had always taken Yuuri a long time to get the more technical moves down though. He excelled at interpretation, and that was what had brought Victor to his side to begin with, but it wasn't enough on it's own. Not at this level.

Most days Yuuri could overlook the gnawing doubt, especially when Victor was telling him to take a break, drink some water, don't worry about it. As if the man's faith that he _would_ _get it_ next time could actually make it true. In response, Yuuri redoubled his efforts to be the best student possible.

It was bizarre, but for the first time ever, his personal life was going more smoothly than his professional one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you still ok with being restrained today?” Yuuri asked, helping Victor out of his shirt. His sub would wear only a soft pair of pants, as per his own request. In this case, Yuuri appreciated the small layer of vulnerability it added to the scene. Not that he ever minded seeing Victor shirtless. Yuuri himself wore a nicer button down, open at the collar, with his suit pants to complete the outfit.

“Yes, more than ok,” Victor smiled, his eyes bright with anticipation.

“Alright then, get on your knees,” Yuuri smiled back.

As soon as Victor was in position on the cushion, Yuuri reached for the rope he'd prepared. The higher quality brands came in a variety of different hues, of which Yuuri owned both the traditional red and black. He wanted to see the red against Victor's skin more though, so red it was.

“You remember your colors,” Yuuri prompted before he actually began.

“Green, yellow, and red,” his sub recited.

“And since this is our first time doing this, I just want to reiterate, yellow is not failure. Red is not failure either. You need to be honest with me at all times, understood?” Yuuri told him. “This is about learning each other just as much as the dynamic.”

“I understand,” Victor said firmly.

Yuuri had no doubt that he would do his best to comply the entire time.

“I'm going to start then,” Yuuri indicated.

Victor shivered.

But he nodded as well, “Ok.”

God, he hadn't even touched rope to skin yet, and Victor was already reacting like that...

“Relax,” Yuuri said softly, giving a kiss to the inside of each of his sub's wrists. Victor drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“Arms behind your back,” Yuuri instructed, waiting for Victor to do it before moving around behind the man. He took a length of rope and began tying a crisscrossing pattern over his sub's pale forearm, all the way up to the elbow. He would only have his limbs connected at the wrist, but this would give a more secure feel to the whole thing. As he went, Yuuri admired the look of his claim as it wrapped around Victor's trust.

“Is it too tight?” Yuuri paused to ask, checking his sub's circulation.

Victor's hand flexed a few times, open and closed, evaluating.

“No, it feels good,” he replied, head bowed.

“Good. Any numbness?” Yuuri double checked as he moved on to the other arm.

It took Victor a second to respond. It seemed like he was more intent on the coils of rope continuing to wind around him than the question.

“No numbness,” he finally answered, both hands flexing and releasing in tandem.

“Excellent. Tell me if you do start to get any, ok?” Yuuri instructed.

Victor nodded, his head still bowed.

“Out loud, Vitya,” Yuuri prompted, finishing up the bindings.

Again, it seemed like Victor was a little slow in responding, enough so that Yuuri took note of it.

“I will,” Victor murmured.

Yuuri raised an eyebrow, going around to face Victor now that he was finished. Very careful to keep his touch gentle, he took hold of the man's chin, lifting his gaze upward. Victor's eyes were unfocused already. As soon as he saw Yuuri, he smiled.

“Wow,” Yuuri said a bit breathlessly, “Look at you...”

Victor blinked at him, like he was trying to process if that was an order or not, and finally he just hummed in the affirmative.

“I didn't think you'd go down this easily... You're spectacular, Vitya,” Yuuri assured, knowing this was a delicate moment. They'd expressed their dominance and submission with each other in a few different ways now, but apparently being tied up made a big difference for Victor. He must have started sliding down the moment Yuuri tightened the first knot. Next time he would make sure he could see Victor's eyes, to gauge the progression better.

A smile so happy it was bordering on goofy spread over Victor's face at the compliment. Yuuri couldn't help but smile back. He'd always found Victor's sincere affection to be easy to reciprocate, if not always act on. He was certainly acting on it now, though.

“Color, Vitya?” Yuuri asked, again, more to set a precedent than because he was worried.

Victor leaned forward, rubbing his cheek against his dom's stomach.

“Green,” he exhaled, the warmth of his touch quickly soaking through Yuuri's shirt.

“Ok then, let's continue,” he said, stroking Victor's hair a few times before pulling away.

With Victor being already in subspace, Yuuri was more careful with his actions than he'd initially thought he'd need to be. He put his hands on Victor's shoulders to guide him so he was kneeling in a different direction. Yuuri made a point to stay in his line of sight the entire time. The chair was already positioned next to Yuuri's desk, so he sat in it as soon as Victor was facing the right way. He did scoot it closer to his sub though, so neither of them would have to stretch. Things became a lot more intimate with that hazy, happy look in Victor's eyes, and Yuuri adjusted the mood to compensate.

As soon as Yuuri was settled, Victor leaned in against his legs, resting his cheek on his dom's thigh. He gave a content sigh, the new position testing his bound arms just enough to reinforce the pull of the ropes on his skin.

“Beautiful...” Yuuri praised, brushing the hair out of Victor's face, “You look so good like this, tied up and pliant for me.”

Victor made a pleased noise into Yuuri's leg.

Yuuri grinned.

After a few moments of petting his sub, he decided it was time to move onward.

“Sit up for a bit sweetheart, show me how good you can be” Yuuri instructed lovingly.

There was a blush on Victor's face as he righted himself, and it was almost impossible for Yuuri to tear his gaze away. Thankfully, it took only a glance for him to pick out what he wanted from the spread on his desk. Victor opened his mouth, accepting the slice of strawberry from Yuuri's fingers with a graceful curve of his neck.

“Exquisite,” Yuuri said softly, stroking over Victor's cheek. The man smiled as he chewed, swallowing down the bite a moment later. Yuuri fed him a cube of cheese next, watching with rapt attention each time the man's throat bobbed. Then he reached for a cherry, pressing it into his sub's mouth. It was a bit messier, having already been pitted, and its juice escaped over the swell of Victor's lip. A quick swipe of his tongue tried to right the problem, but a small smudge remained on his skin even afterward.

Yuuri reached out and caught the juice with his finger, pressing it back against Victor's lip. Gently, Victor kissed the juice off his dom's skin, his eyes slipping closed.

It was the most difficult thing Victor had ever done, to keep his tongue back and not lave over Yuuri's digits salaciously. But he wanted Yuuri to be happy with him _so badly_ , he absolutely wouldn't risk pushing things too far.

“Good,” Yuuri murmured, “I'm so proud to have a sub with such self-control.”

“Want to please you,” Victor whispered, his eyes still closed.

“Look at me, Vitya,” Yuuri told him, cupping his jaw.

Victor opened his eyes, finding his vision filled with Yuuri immediately.

“I'm incredibly pleased,” the man said, his tone sure and unhurried.

Victor smiled into Yuuri's palm, trying to nuzzle against him, because words were hard right now and he craved the affection. His dom had no problem giving him some extra petting, carding his hands through Victor's hair, gently squeezing the back of his neck. This was absolutely heavenly, and Victor never wanted to be let go.

When Yuuri finally returned to feeding his sub, he noticed Victor was having a hard time keeping his eyes from slipping shut again. He brushed his thumb over a silver-lashed eyelid.

“Keep them closed for now, Vitya, just open your mouth when I tell you,” he instructed.

The reply he got was a hum, but Yuuri wasn't comfortable going off of just that. Not without knowing more about how Victor handled subspace in general.

“Give me a color,” he asked, not wanting his sub to go so deep that he was completely non-verbal the first time they did this.

It took a few breaths before the word slipped out, but when it did, it was “Green.”

“Ok then. Thank you for answering me, Vitya,” Yuuri picked up another strawberry. “Open your mouth.”

Victor's jaw went elegantly lax, his lips parting naturally with the motion. God, he was so beautiful like that, with his head tipped up and eyes closed serenely... Yuuri paused in giving him the piece of fruit, just drinking in the scene for a second. But he wasn't trying to tease Victor, so he didn't let it drag out too long. After he placed the strawberry in his sub's mouth, Victor simply held it there, as if awaiting further instruction.

“Chew and swallow,” Yuuri told him, feeling a jolt run through his body at the level of trust being displayed. The _willingness_. The depth of Victor's submission to him. He kept feeding him bites of food, alternating between cheese and fruit randomly. Each time he ordered him through the motions.

Remembering how much Victor loved surprises, and wanting to reward his excellent behavior, Yuuri gave him a chaste kiss in between bites.

Victor gasped a little against his mouth.

A smile spread over Yuuri's lips while they were still pressed to his sub's, wanting him to feel the gesture. When Yuuri pulled back, Victor made a small sound of discontent, his whole body leaning forward, chasing the contact.

“Open your eyes, Vitya,” Yuuri said, putting a hand over the arm band on his sub's bicep. He gave it a gentle squeeze as Victor's eyes fluttered open. “There you are... Come here, Vitya, you're doing so well,” Yuuri pulled him forward to lean against his lap again.

Victor snuggled in readily, and Yuuri could see his fingers twitching behind his back, probably wishing they were free to wrap around him. Keeping his touch gentle, Yuuri rubbed his hands over Victor's arms. Then he came back up to the man's neck with one hand while the other petted his hair. It was so incredibly soft, it felt like a luxury to be allowed to run his fingers through it.

Victor let out a breathy sigh, as if to counteract the upset noise from before.

Yuuri let his hand slip downward so that his thumb rested over Victor's throat. It traced a soft curve over it, back and forth, while he let himself just _imagine_ for a minute.

He wished he could place a kiss over the hollow of Victor's throat. That, and wrap himself around Victor and never let go. Both were impractical from this angle.

“You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Vitya. So obedient, so willing. You look graceful even in my lap like this,” Yuuri whispered, “You really are a sweetheart, aren't you? Just wanting to be good for me.”

Victor nodded, the movement small like he was afraid it would dislodge his dom's hands.

“Good, good... Give me a color, Vitya,” Yuuri said, keeping his hands on him. It had been a little while since Victor had spoken.

Another sigh escaped his sub, this one with just the slightest air of petulance about it, for being made to speak.

“Green,” Victor finally answered, his eyes blinking lazily open and closed.

Yuuri curved his hand up to the back of Victor's neck again, running his fingers in a gentle scrape through the shorter hairs at the base of his head. Victor drew in a quick breath, his eyes opening all the way for the first time in a while. Yuuri waited a moment to see if Victor was going to say anything, but he didn't.

Repeating the motion made Victor's breathing quicken.

“Um, yellow?” Victor suddenly said, squeezing his eyes shut, “Yellow...”

“Ok,” Immediately Yuuri removed his hand, having a good idea _what_ was too much, if not why...

“It's alright, Vitya. We'll slow down. Shhhh... Can you tell me what you're feeling?”

Victor whined, burying his face against Yuuri's thigh.

Yuuri didn't like that answer. Not just because it _wasn't_ an answer, but because of what it implied about how out of it Victor was in the midst of this.

“Should I untie you, Vitya?” Yuuri wanted to know.

Victor shook his head and huffed into the fabric of his dom's slacks, taking a minute to reply.

“Not that...” he practically groaned, keeping his face as hidden as possible.

“Then you need to tell me what's going on, so I can help you,” Yuuri said, letting his voice be firm but being very careful not to sound angry in the slightest.

Victor sighed again, but he did nod in understanding.

“Do you need to come up a bit?” Yuuri asked gently, not wanting to rush things. Victor didn't seem _distressed_ , and he didn't want to be untied, so jumping to conclusions would be counterproductive. His sub had only said he wanted to slow down, after all, not indicated a full stop.

“Where are you right now, Vitya?”

“Your lap,” Victor replied, his eyes blinking.

“And where are _we_?”

“In your room,” his voice already sounded a bit more focused.

“Let me see your eyes,” Yuuri instructed.

Victor tipped his head farther sideways, looking as far up as he could without breaking the contact with his dom's leg.

“Good,” Yuuri said, seeing they were more focused. “And where is my room?” he prompted one more time.

“At the onsen,” Victor said dutifully, his voice sounding much more normal.

“Do you feel like you can talk about it now?”

Victor nodded, letting his head relax against Yuuri's lap again, “Yes.”

Yuuri gave him a moment, knowing this needed to go at Victor's pace.

“It's just... You're too sexy, Yuuri. I wanted to be good and control myself for you,” Victor pouted, “But I can't with you doing _that_.”

“Control yourself?... But you've been doing wonderfully, Vitya,” Yuuri assured him.

A blush crept up Victor's neck.

“I'm getting hard...” his sub finally mumbled, giving a small dejected sigh at the end of it.

“Oh. Oh, Vitya, that's ok, I wouldn't be upset over that,” Yuuri was quick to clear up. It made his heart skip, that Victor was thinking so much of him during this whole session. In both ways, oddly enough.

“We didn't talk about it beforehand...” Victor brought up, like he thought he was breaking the rules.

It was Yuuri's turn to sigh now. “That's my fault, Vitya. I should have thought more about how this would be from your end, realized it might effect you like that... I will never, ever be upset with you though, for the way your body reacts to things I'm doing. That's the point of taking it slow, to learn about each other.”

“Ok. Thank you, Yuuri. I guess I just needed to hear you say it...” Victor said, relaxing fully against him once more.

“You're very welcome, Vitya. If anything, I'm glad to have so much of your attention... I certainly wouldn't want you thinking of anyone else when that happens,” Yuuri pointed out.

Victor shook his head, “Only you,” he promised.

“That's good,” Yuuri smiled, “You're doing exactly what I want, then.”

His sub smiled, resting against him contently.

“I think we should keep going for a bit? If that's ok with you? So we end this on a good note,” Yuuri told him.

“Green,” Victor replied right away, rubbing his cheek on Yuuri's leg a few times, “Feed me some more? And keep calling me Vitya?”

“Of course, Vitya, anything you want,” Yuuri said, his love for this man burning a little deeper into his chest with every passing moment. He happily fed Victor the rest of the fruit and cheese, feeling somehow even more in tune with his sub after the misunderstanding.

When Victor was nearly done with his meal, he told Yuuri that he thought his pinkie was starting to go numb.

“Let's get you undone then, sweetheart,” Yuuri said soothingly.

“Ok, I'm ready,” Victor nodded.

“You did so, so well, Vitya, I'm so proud of you,” Yuuri told him while he undid the bindings.

“Thank you, Yuuri. For all of this, it was amazing,” Victor smiled, “I've never felt anything like it.”

As soon as his wrists were free, Yuuri gently eased Victor's arms to his sides. “Leave them there,” he instructed, coming back around to the front. He helped his sub stand and get over to the bed without jostling them too much. Once they were sitting in a more accessible position, Yuuri unwound the ropes crossed over Victor's forearms.

They left marks of constriction over his sub's skin, and Yuuri found himself humming approvingly as they were revealed. Every single one of them he ran his hands over. Then he leaned over, placing a kiss on each of Victor's shoulders, knowing the muscles there were the most strained.

“I'm going to stand up and get the lotion, ok? Wait right here,” Yuuri told him.

Victor nodded, looking over the patterns left on his arms happily.

The lotion he intended to use was only a few steps away on the desk, but Yuuri had heard of subs dropping just from _thinking_ their dom was leaving them. Victor had gone down so quickly when he was tied up that Yuuri felt the extra caution was warranted, just in case.

“Here we go,” he said, settling beside his sub again, “How are you feeling?”

“Happy. Light. Like I'm yours,” Victor replied right away.

“Good, because you are,” Yuuri said, squirting some lotion into his hands. He started with Victor's wrists, which had bore the brunt of the tension. His sub sighed as it was worked into his skin. Yuuri glanced up at his eyes every once in a while, to make sure they stayed clear and focused. Victor seemed perfectly aware now, and perfectly content to be pampered, so Yuuri continued to move upward.

Once he was sure both arms were nice and relaxed, he paid special attention to Victor's shoulders and neck. Even with the flexibility born from years of performing on the ice, Yuuri knew the position had been a strain, and not one Victor was used to. He didn't ask anymore questions while he gave the massage, saving them for later. He only spoke here and there to affirm how wonderfully Victor had done.

“I'm going to get you some water now,” Yuuri said when he was finished, placing an affectionate kiss against the back of his sub's neck.

“Ok. I'll be right here,” Victor smiled, his normal playfulness peeking through his tone.

Yuuri retrieved two bottles from his desk, one for each of them. “We can lay down after you drink the whole thing,” he informed him. With a nod, Victor brought it to his lips, drinking greedily. Yuuri was fairly sure it was because he wanted to get back to snuggling and not that he was overly thirsty...

After the bottles were drained and discarded, Victor scooted back, making room for the two of them to lay down. As soon as they were both horizontal, Victor buried his face in the crook of his dom's neck, holding on tightly. Yuuri was hardly surprised, smiling as he stroked his sub's back.

Later, they would talk in more detail about the scene and how it went, what they liked and what they'd do differently. But for now they just lay quietly in each other's arms. They didn't even need to whisper sweet nothings, what had passed between them was already sweeter than words.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, how can they not GET IT after that... Well, picture Victor's online persona as leaning more toward “You're both far more mediocre than you think” than “please pet me for hours”, lol. Also, keep in mind that neither of them are looking for hints of the other being someone they've interacted with online. Thirdly, I've tried to portray it in the chats throughout that Victor is the type to take a newbie sub under his wing so to speak, make sure they have some guidance, hang around with them in the chats while they try out talking to new people, etc. Which added to the perception of him being older/experienced, which was only very recently 'challenged' online. And it can take a while for a deeply ingrained perception like that to change/stick in a person's casual thoughts. But Yuuri very much thinks of Victor as being around the same age as him.  
> Lastly, and VERY IMPORTANT, cbd and 3s have never interacted/RP'd as dom and sub on the website. It's hard to show a chat log of something that didn't happen? So I'm spelling it out here? They already knew each other as sub friends for years before cbd went through his realization, and with him not being interested in sex for the sake of sex, he certainly wasn't in a rush to RP with subs after he realized he was more dominant.  
> So yeah... I hope it makes sense and that you're enjoying it so far! ;)


	8. But I see you in the fireflies

“So, I have a question” Victor said while Yuuri was taking a water break. Yuuri looked at him expectantly, but didn't stop drinking.

Victor cocked his silver bangs to the side, placing a finger over his lips.

“Am I allowed to masturbate, as long as I'm thinking of you?”

Yuuri choked, tripped over nothing, and very nearly face-planted into the rink barrier for the second time in his life. Thankfully, he managed to catch the rail just in time. As he tried to right himself, all he could think of was that it was a good thing he hadn't hit it, because he knew how much Victor hated blood.

“Oh my god, Victor, why would you ask me that while we're _here_?” Yuuri sputtered. He'd certainly heard of subs not being allowed to touch themselves unless their dom said so. The two of them hadn't discussed any sort of rule about it though. For some strange reason Yuuri thought of that as being more of an 'at home' conversation.

“ _Yuuri_ , you're kidding right?” Victor pouted, “We've been imagining 'pork cutlet bowls' for _hours_ now while you work on Eros.”

“It... It really affects you that much?” Yuuri wondered, almost hopefully.

“Everything you do _affects_ me, Yuuri” Victor said smoothly, his eyes sparkling.

Yuuri bent to pick up his fallen water bottle, clutching it tightly while he thought about how he wanted to respond. He took another drink from it, stalling, until he finally decided on a course of action. Handing the bottle back to Victor, he looked his sub straight in the eye.

“We'll discuss this later, at home” he said sternly. Victor opened his mouth, and even though Yuuri had no _proof_ it was going to be an argument, he'd already brought his dom mindset to the forefront, so he reacted with it. In one controlled movement, he placed his hand firmly against the base of Victor's throat. There was no real pressure to his touch, the expectation for obedience so strong that he didn't need it. He simply laid it there, a reminder, while he stared into Victor's eyes.

Victor's breath hitched. He closed his mouth again as a blush dusted his cheeks. Since he seemed too stunned for words, Yuuri decided to help him out.

“You're supposed to be watching me right now” he prompted.

Victor nodded.

“I want you to _keep_ watching me” Yuuri added.

His sub let out a breath like he'd been holding it in too long, but quickly nodded again.

“And if you're good” Yuuri added, rubbing his thumb ever so slightly against Victor's pulse point, “Then we can make out in the locker rooms after practice.”

Victor bit his lip, nodding enthusiastically.

Yuuri used his skates to push off, backing away from his sub, letting his arm stay extended so his fingers brushed along Victor's skin as he departed.

The silver haired man stayed riveted to the spot after that.

“God, I love my life...” Victor whispered to himself as he watched the movement of Yuuri's thighs while the man skated.

 

“Tell me if it's too much, ok?” Yuuri said as he finally stepped off the ice later. He made the slightly mystifying move of snapping his blade guards on instead of removing his skates.

“Of course...” Victor agreed, not sure what the man had in mind, but willing to go along with just about anything Yuuri wanted.

Then suddenly his dom's fist was twisting into the fabric of his shirt, just below the neck, taking too firm a hold to be ignored. Without saying a word, Yuuri _pulled_ , heading off toward the locker rooms with Victor in tow behind him. If he was any less graceful of a man, Victor might have fallen with the abruptness of the transition. As it was, he only stumbled a bit, his heart rate speeding up as he was brought along in Yuuri's wake.

As soon as they made it through the door, Victor was shoved against the wall. A jolt of pure arousal shot through him at the thought of being _manhandled_ by Yuuri. And speak of the devil, Victor's vision was suddenly full of confident brown-hued eyes, the last thing he saw before Yuuri's mouth crashed into his.

It was forceful and wet and, oh god, Yuuri's _teeth_ grazed over his lip... Victor was melting. He was being _devoured_ , and he loved it. With his skates on, Yuuri was the same height as him. With his tongue in Victor's mouth, all rational thought was dispelled. Victor couldn't help it, he moaned against Yuuri, seeking more, wanting to be closer. The arm over Victor's chest kept him pinned tightly to the wall, but Yuuri's other hand moved around to the back of his neck, heightening the intimacy of the act.

Victor might have lost some time in the push and pull of Yuuri's mouth... But he was young, he could afford it. Forever had passed and yet hadn't been long enough when his dom finally broke away. Victor was flushed and straining for more even as the kiss ended.

“You can masturbate” Yuuri told him in a low, possessive voice, “As long as you think of me, and _only_ me.”

“ _Thank you_ ” Victor said breathlessly, thoroughly impressed.

Outside the door, three pairs of little feet could be heard running past as the Nishigori triplets arrived at the rink after school.

“We'll discuss the...'frequency', with which it's allowed, _at home_ ” Yuuri whispered in his ear, giving the back of his neck one final squeeze.

“Yes, sir” Victor heard himself say, not a hint of joking in his tone.

“Good. Now take off my skates for me” Yuuri told him, pulling away completely.

As bereft as he felt without Yuuri pressed up against him, Victor wasn't about to disobey an order like that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Victor, this tie is 12,000 yen!”

“Hush, darling. Only the best for you.”

“I can't believe you _literally_ burned my other one...”

Victor raised an eyebrow at him.

“Ok, yeah, you're right. I do believe it. I don't know why I said that...”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You mentioned me painting my nails once” Victor said as they lounged in the onsen, “Would that only be for special occasions?”

“It wouldn't have to be...” Yuuri replied. “Is that something that really appeals to you?”

“Oh, I've worn it before, here and there when I was younger. But it didn't _mean_ anything, back then. I think I'd like it more now, knowing it was for you,” Victor said, holding his hand out in front of himself like he was examining his nails intently.

Yuuri could tell where his attention really was though. He considered it a testament to how well they were getting to know each other. Giving the man a soft smile, Yuuri nodded, “We could go out tomorrow night?...” He quite liked the idea of an actual date with Victor. Mostly they just worked too hard and then combated it by centering each other with their scenes. And it _would_ be amazing to walk around Hasetsu with Victor on his arm, letting everyone see that this incredible man had chosen _him_.

“That would be perfect!” Victor grinned, aiming a heart-shaped smile at Yuuri. “What color did you have in mind?”

“Hmm, for you? Something bright and bold, I think... How do you feel about pink?” Yuuri asked, picturing his sub's nails coated in a happy bubble gum hue.

“I've always thought pink suited me,” Victor told him, looking impossibly in love.

“Alright then, we can pick out a few shades, if you'd like,” Yuuri agreed, “I have everything else we'll need already.”

“You do?”

“Hai, Phichit and I used to do each other's nails fairly often. Or, well, toes, mostly. It was a cheap way to feel like we were treating ourselves, even though it wears off so fast with the skating,” Yuuri confided.

The look on Victor's face flickered from amazed, to hurt, to hopeful, all in the span of about six seconds.

“ _Yuuuuuri,_ ” he pouted, “Why did you never tell me painting your toes was an option?”

“Um, I'm telling you now?” Yuuri said, slightly baffled though he had a feeling he shouldn't be. It was actually more of an amused endearment that he was feeling, if he was honest.

“May I? Paint your toes?” Victor asked, catching Yuuri's wrist under the water so he could rub his thumb against it.

“Of course, Vitya. And then I'll paint your nails after that,” Yuuri smiled.

Victor's cheeks were suddenly a lot more red than could be attributed to the onsen.

“You meant _you_ would... _Oh_... I'd like that very much, Yuuri!” Victor gushed.

“It's more like my mark that way, don't you think?” Yuuri asked him.

Scooting closer, Victor nodded, “Yes, definitely.”

Obliging the unspoken request, Yuuri gave him a peck on the lips. He left it at that though, since he didn't want to get carried away in the onsen. The more he and Victor kissed, the less they tended to notice anything else around them. Which, these days, he didn't have much of a problem with. The only issue currently was that they were naked. It was definitely different having the barrier of clothing between them, however thin, and one he wasn't quite ready to cross yet.

 

They ended up purchasing half a dozen shades of nail polish the next day, and Victor picked out a higher quality polish remover than Yuuri currently owned.

“If there's a chance it's going to be used _on your feet_ , I'm afraid I have to insist, as your coach, that we get this one,” Victor told him, dropping the bottle in their basket.

Yuuri gave him an indulgent smile and nodded.

 

Since they didn't want to spread fumes throughout the whole common area, they chose Victor's room for the polishing session. It was nothing either of them would have minded doing in public though. Thankfully the weather was good and a window could be opened with no ill effect.

Yuuri let Victor wash his feet beforehand, so his cuticles would be nice and malleable. One of these days, maybe when they were closer to being sexually intimate, Yuuri would ask just how far Victor's apparent foot fetish extended... He left it alone for now though. Bringing up that kind of discussion wasn't in line with the mood they were going for here.

“I've always liked red for my toes,” Yuuri said as he got situated on the bed, “I know it's a fairly common choice, but it always made me feel a little more beautiful, almost desirable, even.”

“You're incredibly desirable, my Yuuri,” Victor told him, “With or without the polish.” He stroked the top of Yuuri's foot, like he wasn't quite able to believe he was allowed to do this, even after all the times he'd rubbed these same feet.

Yuuri blushed a little at the compliment, giving Victor a smile in return. His sub got started on pushing back cuticles and filing nails smooth. It wasn't a true pedicure, since neither of them would dream of removing calluses. He needed those, and it was nice to have Victor understand without words, just as Phichit had.

Since Victor was more familiar with Yuuri's feet than Phichit had ever been, he knew just where the tender spots were as well. Yuuri could relax fully, knowing he was in experienced hands. He watched Victor work for the pleasure of seeing him so content.

“Have you decided on a color? Both of the shades you got are quite lovely,” Victor commented as he put down the clear coat.

“Yes, let's go with 'Crushed Cherry' for now. We can always use the other next time” Yuuri answered. He noticed that Victor was putting clear polish over the skin of his pinkie toe where the nail used to be. “I don't normally paint that one,” he let him know.

“Oh, really? Won't it look uneven then?” Victor asked, pausing what he was doing.

“Yes, but the skin there tends to get irritated more easily... I guess we might as well this time, since the clear is already down,” Yuuri decided.

“Hm, it might be from that cheap polish remover you were using too. Christophe is missing his on the right as well...though you may not have noticed” Victor went on as he moved to the other foot, “And he swears by the brand we bought. It has additives to help nourish the skin and combat the drying effect of the acetone.”

Yuuri briefly wondered how he was ever supposed to have noticed, but then he figured that must be what Victor had meant, that he wouldn't have had a chance to. It did make him wonder how close of friends Victor and Chris were... If there had been painting of each other's nails, or if it was just knowledge Victor had been _told_ , not something he'd gleaned from _experience_.

“Have you touched his feet?” Yuuri heard himself ask. His tone was too flat for the conversation and he immediately regretted it. The way Victor stilled though, made Yuuri suddenly _very_ keen to hear the answer.

“Um... Yes?...” Victor replied hesitantly, stopping to look up at Yuuri.

“Oh... Like... Like this?”

Victor's eyes widened at the implication, or maybe the way it was paired with Yuuri's tone.

“No, I told you, I've never done 'this' with anyone else before” Victor said, rubbing over his dom's ankle.

“But in another way,” Yuuri asked, unable to make his voice sound less flat. Internally, he kicked himself, wincing at the tension he could feel in his own posture, knowing that Victor would be able to read it in him.

Victor cocked his head to the side, “Are we still talking about feet? Because you already know I'm not a virgin, Yuuri.”

“I know. It is. Just about the feet part, I mean,” Yuuri blushed. “Why did you assume so quickly that I meant sex?” he frowned a half a second later.

“Oh my god,” Victor looked at him with a dawning understanding. Then his face virtually lit up and he grinned as wide as Yuuri had ever seen. “You're _jealous_ ,” he said, voice bordering on giddy.

Yuuri's jaw dropped at the accusation. He could feel an intense blush creeping over his skin and he snapped his mouth shut a second later. At least Victor didn't look upset with him? His sub actually seemed to be enjoying this? Victor put the nail polish on his bedside table and raised himself up on his knees, so he could reach over to cup Yuuri's face.

“My Yuuri, as much as I love how possessive you are of me, you have _nothing_ to be jealous of with Chris.”

“Nothing?” Yuuri couldn't help verifying.

“Nothing. We're just friends, and have only ever been” Victor said, amusement thick in his tone. Even his eyes were full of mirth.

Yuuri wanted to surge up and tackle him, like Victor would have to him if their situations were reversed... Why was he holding himself back again?...

He must have given something of his thoughts away in his face, because a flash of anticipation darted through Victor's eyes.

Yuuri made up his mind at seeing it and levered himself forward, twisting so Victor ended up underneath him on the bed. He put his hand on the man's chest, keeping him down even though Victor didn't struggle at all.

“You're mine” he said, confirming, his gaze drilling into Victor's.

“All yours” Victor said breathlessly, flushed and blinking in disbelief at the change in position.

Yuuri took the pressure off his palm, sliding it upward until it rested over Victor's collarbone. Then he leaned down and placed a kiss on the column of his sub's throat, possessive and lingering. He hovered over pale skin afterward, looking at the spot he'd kissed.

“No touching other people's feet” he said, brooking no argument.

“God no, only yours. Yours are the only ones I _want_ to touch” Victor said, his hands coming up tentatively to rest on Yuuri's hips.

Yuuri hummed, dipping in again to kiss that same spot, “Good.”

Victor sighed, just the barest hint of a moan in his breath.

“I want to mark your throat...” Yuuri murmured in between soft kisses, “Make sure everyone knows you belong to me...”

“Oh, _please_ , Yuuri,” Victor groaned, his hands tightening their grip.

Yuuri was a little rougher with the next press of his mouth, sucking lightly on Victor's skin, getting his first real taste of it. Victor gasped underneath him.

“It's ok if you get hard, as long as you understand nothing more than this is happening right now” Yuuri broke the contact to say. He was glad he did, because the smile Victor gave him was relieved.

“I'm definitely ok with that, Yuuri. _So_ ok. I want everyone to be staring at me tonight because of your mark” Victor assured him, eyes gleaming with happiness.

“Ok then... I think I might be developing _a thing_ for your throat...” Yuuri confessed, nipping it gently in response.

“Mmm, how scandalous,” Victor purred.

“I don't think Hasetsu is ready for this...” Yuuri teased, treating Victor's throat to another gentle kiss.

“They'll get used to it, I'm sure” Victor replied, pulling Yuuri closer as if that would make him get back on track.

After a few more basically chaste kisses, Yuuri finally gave in and went to work on a single spot.

Victor nearly came in his pants, he was so turned on by Yuuri above him and the sensation being branded into his skin. He somehow managed to hold back though. By the time Yuuri was satisfied with the mark, Victor knew he must have done something very, very good in a past life to deserve this. He had to get up and look at himself in the mirror to see it with his own eyes. And then he couldn't stop running his fingers over the spot after that.

Yuuri chuckled at him, watching with love in his eyes at Victor's antics.

“Alright, come finish up my feet” Yuuri finally prompted him, wiggling his toes in Victor's direction.

Their nail painting session ended up taking a little longer than planned, but there were no complaints on either side.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_fantabulousnate: how did everyone know about these thresholds but me???_

_sub-squent92: you've only been here a couple years_

_Tiedup247: yeah_

_Tiedup247: we haven't lost anyone major in a while_

_90degreedom: probably not since whipxxxlash_

_90degreedom: and that was, what?_

_90degreedom: almost three years ago now?_

_sub-squent92: don't say that :(_

_sub-squent92: now you're making me feel old_

_Tiedup247: THAT'S WHAT 3S WOULD HAVE SAID_

_Tiedup247: *cries_

_fantabulousnate: um, they're not DEAD you guys_

_sub-squent92: they might as well be if they hit 4 months_

_90degreedom: cbd's is first, and 3s went dark only a few weeks after that_

_90degreedom: I didn't think he'd be one of those who would get in a relationship and then disappear :(_

_fantabulousnate: with cbd I could see that though_

_fantabulousnate: he was always more sporadic anyway..._

_90degreedom: yeah_

_90degreedom: true_

_sub-squent92: I guess none of us knew either of them as well as we thought :(_

_Tiedup247: this sucks_

_Tiedup247: we need closure, damn it_

_Tiedup247: (T_ _＿_ _T)_

_sub-squent92: yeah, you know what they say_

_sub-squent92: funerals are for the living_

_Tiedup247: (_ _｡♥‿♥｡_ _)_

_90degreedom: ???_

_fantabulousnate: ok, gonna need some context on that one..._

_Tiedup247: we're going to have a funeral for them_

_sub-squent92: <3_

_90degreedom: that's... not a horrible idea..._

_fantabulousnate: shouldn't that be more of a 4_ _th_ _threshold thing?_

_Tiedup247: hush you_

_sub-squent92: besides, if either of them do miraculously come back before their accounts deactivate, we can always hold it over their heads that we mourned them :D_

_Tiedup247: WE LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK ;D_

_90degreedom: we should wait until they've both passed the mark then_

_Tiedup247: we will live stream the ceremony_

_Tiedup247: and release doves or something_

_fantabulousnate: I think that's more of a wedding thing?_

_sub-squent92: two words you guys_

_sub-squent92: Viking_

_sub-squent92: Funeral_

_sub-squent92:_ (^_-)-☆

_90degreedom: …_

_90degreedom: because if there's anything you think of when you think of cbd, it's norse mythology...???_

_fantabulousnate: and 3s was, what, vaguely european?_

_sub-squent92: VIKING FUNERAL_

_Tiedup247: as much as it pains us to be the voice of reason,_

_Tiedup247: no_

_sub-squent92: :(_

_90degreedom: it would probably be more fitting to release some cherry blossom petals into the wind or something_

_sub-squent92: shit_

_sub-squent92: ok, that's good_

_fantabulousnate: what about for 3s?_

_90degreedom: i'm not sure exactly... something involving a convertible?_

_fantabulousnate: what about something affordable for 3s?_

_sub-squent92: :P_

_sub-squent92: he has a point_

_90degreedom: barbie_

_Tiedup247: we love you_

_90degreedom: we'll get a plastic barbie convertible_

_Tiedup247: you are a perfect person, Marcos_

_sub-squent92: omg, lol_

_fantabulousnate: but what are you going to DO with it?_

_Tiedup247: we'll think of something_

_Tiedup247: we have time_

_90degreedom: yes, there's still a couple months to go ^^_

_sub-squent92: spread the word_

_Tiedup247: yes, attendance is mandatory_

_Tiedup247: anyone they ever talked to is required to log in_

_fantabulousnate: this is getting out of hand and it hasn't even started yet..._

_90degreedom: well, it is partly a tribute to 3s :)_

_Tiedup247: *sniffles_

_Tiedup247: it's what he would have wanted_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (T＿T) = crying  
> (｡♥‿♥｡) = in love  
> (^_-)-☆ = wink


	9. And how extraordinary, is that?

Yuuri wouldn't go so far as to call Victor's presence calming in a coaching respect. It was steadying, to be sure, but they had very little experience interacting as coach and student when it came to actual competitions. At least going into the Cup of China, Yuuri knew Victor was a little more aware of his mental issues than last time. He still found himself having to point out a few of the basics though, like avoiding raw food the night before. It made him wonder what exactly Victor's own habits had been like when he was a competitor himself...

Yuuri already knew, from their few times out, exactly what Victor was like when he was drunk. So the way the night ended hadn't phased him too much. It wasn't until he found out a picture had been posted by Phichit that his thoughts truly began to run out of his control. He knew his friend hadn't meant any harm by it. At any other time he would have just blushed and shrugged it off.

But backstage before a competition was almost like a different reality for Yuuri, his brain unable to shut off, his thoughts often spiraling... Everything _mattered_ so much more here...

“Yuuri, why didn't you invite me?” he heard in a pouting tone as someone grabbed his ass.

If his brain hadn't been devoting half it's power to self doubt, he probably would have put the grab and the voice together more quickly. Oddly enough, Chris' actions kind of short-circuited his mental spiral.

“Looks like your master's giving you a very thorough training,” Chris added.

Yuuri smiled at him, holding his tongue about 'masters'. He wasn't sure how much of Victor's lifestyle preferences the man was privy to... Victor was suddenly at his side before Yuuri could come up with a coherent response though. He mostly just watched the two of them talk, and watched Phichit and the others fan around off to the side.

Yuuri remembered all too keenly what it was like to be watching 'the big names' like Victor and Chris from the sidelines. His attention wasn't brought back into the moment until Chris spoke directly to him again.

“Yuuri, the sin of keeping Victor to yourself is grave.”

He wasn't sure what to say to that.

Yuuri had half a mind to let slip, “Too bad, because he belongs to me now”... But that attitude wouldn't exactly be helpful. He didn't want to be rude either. Chris had always been nice to him, being one of the more laid back personalities in their field. Plus, he was one of Victor's friends. His comment missed the mark though, because it wasn't that Yuuri was hiding Victor away from them. Victor had chosen Yuuri of his own free will.

Holding on to that idea, Yuuri stretched, warmed up, and got lost in his head while he jogged. He trusted Victor to pull him out of it when it was actually his turn. Until then, he mulled over people's expectations in the privacy of his own mind.

The people who wanted to see Victor skate would never be satisfied with Yuuri's skating.

The people cheering for Yuuri wouldn't be satisfied with the _old_ him either.

 

Maybe a new mindset was exactly what he needed.

 

Or rather, maybe channeling into one that he didn't normally share with the world...

 

The thought of exposing the dominant part of himself for the general public to see was kind of daunting in and of itself. But on the other hand, Victor was here too. He was the only one who it truly mattered to Yuuri to be watched by...

If Yuuri messed up, then his fans would be disappointed again, maybe even abandon him. If he messed up, _Victor's_ fans would probably feel every right to hate him, for taking up Victor's time and then being a failure anyway...

If Yuuri did well though... If he managed to pull it all off, his own fans would of course be happy. But Victor's fans... They would probably hate him anyway. In fact, they may hate him even more, because it would mean Victor's time spent with Yuuri and away from them was valid.

Coming to a decision, Yuuri allowed it to settle into his brain, into his heart, into his very bones.

He wanted to be hated as the one who stole Victor from the world.

 

“The time to seduce me by picturing pork cutlet bowls and women during your skate is over. You can fight on your own personal charm. You can envision it just fine, can't you?” Victor asked encouragingly.

“Don't ever take your eyes off me” Yuuri commanded, knowing it was probably throwing Victor for a loop to see him like this right now. He almost wanted to put his hand at the back of his sub's neck while he gave the order, but he wouldn't do something like that to him unasked and untested. He settled for squeezing Victor's fingers and pressing their foreheads together before he took off for center ice.

Even the announcer stuttered at seeing the start of Yuuri's routine, so Victor felt his shock was justified. Then Yuuri proceeded to land every single one of his jumps flawlessly. Victor was so happy for him, he completely forgot about the kiss and cry. Chris had to remind him that he still had a part to play as coach here.

It was a new personal best for Yuuri, and by the end of the day, he was in first place after the short program for the first time.

Which made it all the more puzzling to Victor when Yuuri showed up the next morning looking like his nerves were _eating him alive_... He wished he'd followed his instinct to get them a single room, so he could have kept an eye on him last night. Over thinking things was a big part of Yuuri's downfall, from what Victor had seen. It was also obvious he hadn't slept, whatever the exact thoughts were that had kept him awake.

Since there was time, Victor ordered him back to the hotel to sleep. He hoped if he stayed calm and nonchalant, it would rub off on Yuuri somehow?

But it didn't.

He tried forbidding him from doing any jumps during the warm up, which Yuuri completely disregarded. The psychology of it seemed pretty straightforward to Victor, but he wasn't about to berate Yuuri in the aftermath...

While Yuuri silently freaked out, Victor wracked his brain for anything else that might help the man. Some reporters showed up in their area as he was contemplating, and Victor just _knew_ that would end in disaster. His desire to get Yuuri away from them did help him remember what the man had said about people in general though....

There was nowhere less populated that Victor could think of than the event's parking garage. To say Yuuri was more relaxed there though, would be like saying you didn't have a full carton of milk because you'd taken out a teaspoon. Victor had him run through some of the choreography for his skate as a thinly veiled attempt to try and distract him.

He could admit it at this point, he had no idea what he was doing. He'd tried everything he could think of, but the lines of stress on Yuuri's face didn't ease at all. Well, maybe not _everything_... Victor hadn't tried the tough-love route, because he didn't normally think like that. But hadn't Yuuri risen to the challenge of Yurio's ultimatum, when it had been a matter of losing Victor as his coach?

Skater's hearts were as fragile as glass, after all, so maybe Yuuri needed to be pushed to the breaking point in order to get past it?

...

Ok, so, Victor was a massive idiot. Now Yuuri was crying in front of him, and he felt like the biggest heel in the universe for attempting to 'test' him a few minutes before he needed to get ready for the ice. The feeling only got worse as he listened to Yuuri explain exactly what he'd been feeling and why, tears pouring down his face the entire time. The expectations, the holding up of _Victor's_ reputation.

“Just have more faith than I do that I'll win! You don't have to say anything, just stand by me!” Yuuri implored him, wrung out and at the end of his rope.

 

_Oh_.

 

Stand by him.

 

Oh god, how had he missed that? He'd gotten so wrapped up in coaching techniques that he'd nearly forgotten what it was that had brought them together in the first place. Not the drinking or dancing or surprises, but _Stammi Vicino_. Victor hadn't dropped everything and flown half way around the world just for a cute boy. He could have done that at any time before or after World's last year. But he hadn't. He'd done it for a man who called out to him on a soul-deep level, who understood wanting someone to stand by them, and never let them go, just as much as Victor did.

“I will” Victor said passionately, finally pulling Yuuri into his arms. “I'll stand by you, my Yuuri... _I'm so sorry_ ” Victor apologized, “And I'll never let go, I swear it.” After that, he let Yuuri's tears dry up on their own, knowing there was nothing else to say. They both clung to each other in the parking garage until they couldn't put off heading back any longer.

Victor was quiet, not missing the fact that Yuuri hadn't said he forgave him. It didn't matter though at this point. The commitment had been made in Victor's mind. He would wait as long as it took, accept whatever step back from him Yuuri might need to take. But he wouldn't leave. Ever.

As Yuuri finally prepared to head out onto the ice, Victor had never been so glad to have one of his own insecurities poked at. Was it just his imagination, or was there forgiveness in the feel of Yuuri's hand on his head after that poke? And why on Earth was the man smiling as he began his routine?...

Victor knew he had screwed up worse than he had ever screwed up anything in his life, and he was hesitant to read too much into the gestures. Could Yuuri really get over such a mistake so quickly? Victor hoped and prayed with everything in him as he watched Yuuri skate, that the man understood the true depth of Victor's feelings for him.

Speaking of Yuuri's skate, Victor could see the exact moment that he went from 'going through the motions' to 'determined'. And then...

A quad flip.

A quad _flip_.

Victor felt like his heart was going to pound it's way right out of his chest.

Yuuri forgave him.

He forgave him, and had declared it in the only way that could leave absolutely no doubt between the two of them. For the first time in his life, Victor felt his mask slipping. There were cameras everywhere, and even though he wasn't crying, there was so much emotion pouring through him that he couldn't keep it off his face. He covered it with his hands, hiding for a moment while he tried to regain his composure.

There was only so much composure he could pull back around himself though. He called it good enough, sprinting toward the opening in the barrier. He had to show Yuuri how much he appreciated both the forgiveness and the performance. Victor _needed_ to do something that would be just as much of a declaration back. A declaration of his commitment and love for this incredible man that he did not deserve.

He threw his arms open for Yuuri, watching the, oh god, _the love of his life_ skate toward him with a joyous expression on his face. When the idea flashed through his mind, Victor didn't hesitate.

He kissed him.

He kissed Yuuri in front of the spectators, the judges, the cameras, all of them. Victor _wanted_ them all to know that this was what they'd chosen. Each other.

Knowing in the shock of it they'd probably end up sprawled on the ice, Victor made sure to cradle the back of Yuuri's head as they fell.

“It was the only thing I could think of, to surprise you as much as you've surprised me” Victor told him.

Yuuri smiled, happy and sure.

Then he put his hand on the back of Victor's neck and pulled him down for another kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Victor, do you want to sleep in the same bed with me tonight?” Yuuri asked. He knew they were both exhausted from everything that had happened in China and the long flight home. It seemed to him like they could both use the comfort of closeness right now. There was also still the smallest bit of hesitance in Victor's actions since then... Not really walking on eggshells, because they _had_ made up... But more like he wasn't sure just what as going to happen now.

“Really?” Victor said, pausing in the middle of the hallway, “I'd love that, Yuuri.”

His sub gave him a relieved smile, which Yuuri hadn't been expecting. He was definitely on the right track then. There were still things that needed saying, on both their ends apparently.

“Good,” Yuuri made a point to smile back warmly, “Come on in when you're ready then.”

It only took a few minutes for Victor to be standing in his doorway, pajamas on and pillow tucked under his arm. Yuuri motioned him the rest of the way in, pulling back the covers so they could lay down.

“Do you prefer the wall or the edge? Sorry, my bed's not really meant for two...” Yuuri asked, scratching the back of his head.

“It's fine, Yuuri. We've fit before, you know. I'd rather be next to the wall again, if you don't mind,” Victor told him.

“Ah, well, cuddling for a few hours is different than sleeping all night... I'm sure we'll make it work though. I just, I want to be close to you right now,” Yuuri admitted.

“I,... That's good. Me too,” Victor replied.

As his sub crawled under the covers, Yuuri hit the lights, plunging the room into darkness. Years of habit let him make his way to the bed without running into anything as his eyes adjusted. It was novel for Victor to be waiting for him in it though, making the whole experience seem new. His stomach fluttered with a twinge of nervousness as he crawled in himself. Not for the proximity, but for the conversation he needed to have.

As soon as Yuuri was settled, he reached for Victor's hand, clasping it in his and drawing it to lay between them. His eyes finally adjusted to the ambient light from the window, casting Victor in a soft, ethereal glow. He would have to remember how good his sub looked in the moonlight, for future reference.

“Can we talk?” he asked softly, his voice still sounding so loud in the darkness.

“Of course,” Victor answered just as softly. Yuuri looked at him for a moment, gathering his courage.

“When I said that I'd always had a hard time before competitions, I wasn't exaggerating to make you feel better” Yuuri confessed, deciding there was no other way but to just dive right into it. “I was downplaying it, if anything. I, have Anxiety...” he finally pushed out.

Victor stared at him, the look on his face giving him 100% of his attention.

“It's manageable most of the time, but with things that are such a big deal, like competitions... Sometimes it gets out of control? I know I should have been more up front with you about it... But I was afraid. I don't really talk about it, ever. With anyone. I... I want things to be different with you though. I want to give you everything?” Yuuri said, almost startling himself with his own honesty.

Victor rubbed his thumb over Yuuri's knuckles, trying his best to be comforting and supportive.

“Is this something you've seen a professional for?” Victor wanted to know, continuing his attentive gaze.

“Yes. I was diagnosed when I was 20 by the psychiatrist at my school,” Yuuri told him, “I have medication for it. Sometimes, if it gets really bad, I'll have a panic attack...and I have medication for that too.”

Victor nodded, his hair mussing up against the pillow, “God, you are so incredible, my Yuuri.” he declared, love shining in his eyes.

Yuuri burst into tears for the second time in as many days.

He felt himself being pulled against Victor, and went willingly into his arms.

“I don't think 'incredible' is the word you're looking for” Yuuri said self-deprecatingly through his tears.

“Hush, you're amazing, Yuuri. You think I don't appreciate how hard it was to tell me that? You're incredibly courageous, even though I already had some idea that you were struggling. I'm so, _so_ glad you told me, my love,” Victor whispered in his ear, stroking his back up and down. “I was afraid, after what happened, that you might start to pull away from me... But then you go and share something like this... I can't believe how lucky I am to have the love of a man like you.”

“I'm the lucky one, Vitya” Yuuri murmured into his chest. Thankfully the emotion that had caused his tears was a quick burst, born more out of the disbelief of acceptance than anything else. As he lay in Victor's arms, he let that acceptance wash over him, tried his best to let it settle inside him as truth.

“Can't we both be lucky together?” Victor asked, his mouth curving into a smile against Yuuri's hairline.

“If that's what you want...” Yuuri hummed, exhaustion quickly following in the wake of his emotional release.

“It is” Victor whispered to him, “You are.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_fantabulousnate: r u serious?_

_Tiedup247: so far, rsvp list is at 148 for the live stream_

_fantabulousnate: holt crap_

_fantabulousnate: i'll be lucky to have that many people at my irl funeral someday_

_Tiedup247: we're encouraging people to wear something silver while they watch_

_Tiedup247: in memorial_

_90degreedom: the convertible is a go, btw_

_90degreedom: it just arrived yesterday_

_sub-squent92: um, guys?_

_sub-squent92: not to put a damper on things..._

_sub-squent92: but you do realize it'll be dec when they hit 4mo?_

_sub-squent92: how exactly are you going to find cherry blossom petals in the middle of winter?..._

_90degreedom: Scatter-shot is working on it_

_90degreedom: they're in the S hemisphere_

_Tiedup247: 2 day shipping is a thing_

_fantabulousnate: you're going to pay for 2 day air for flower petals for a fake funeral?_

_fantabulousnate: do you have any idea how expensive that's going to be?_

_90degreedom: the barbie convertible was like 50 euros_

_Tiedup247: it's vintage_

_90degreedom: the newer ones just don't have the right look/feel_

_fantabulousnate: true, they are more cartoon-y_

_fantabulousnate: still a lot of money tho_

_sub-squent92: you're just upset because your irl funeral will cost a lot more than 200 euros and be less memorable :P_

_Tiedup247: SHOTS FIRED_

_fantabulousnate: …_

_fantabulousnate: yeah, you're right_

_Tiedup247: (_ _ノ_ _Д`)_ _・゜・。_

_Tiedup247: don't worry_

_Tiedup247: if you fall in love and disappear from the face of the earth we will totally chuck a dictionary off a cliff in your honor or smth_

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (ノД`)・゜・。= sad/crying


	10. Light me up again

“I have an errand I need to run in the morning,” Victor said as they were walking home from the rink, “I know tomorrow is our day off, but I didn't want to cut into your training time.”

“That's fine. When were you planning to head out?” Yuuri asked, thinking of a few things he needed at the market as well.

“Well, my appointment is at 8am, so I should probably leave the onsen around 7ish...” Victor replied, squeezing Yuuri's hand.

“Appointment?” Yuuri asked on autopilot. “Why is it so early on our day off?”

“Ah, it's a doctor's appointment? I...didn't want you to feel obligated to come with me, Yuuri. You can just sleep in if you want, it's fine,” Victor told him.

“Are you not feeling well?” Yuuri asked, concerned.

“No, I feel fine,” Victor rubbed his thumb over Yuuri's knuckles, “But that doesn't necessarily mean I couldn't be sick.”

Yuuri stopped walking, keeping a firm hold on Victor's hand so the other man would have to stop as well. The traffic on the bridge at that moment consisted of nothing but large delivery trucks, drowning out all other noise. Yuuri waited until they had passed, watching Victor's face in the meantime. There was a strange lack of nervousness in the air between them, his sub's face open and calm.

“You're going to get tested,” Yuuri said plainly, tilting his head to make it a question.

“Yes. I've been careful, mostly, but... The sex I've had was all casual... Sometimes I drank too much, sometimes I wasn't as strict as would have been advisable, I'm sure... Even being careful isn't a _guarantee_ , Yuuri. And I care about you far too much to risk hurting you without realizing it,” Victor said, holding Yuuri's gaze levelly.

“Oh,” Yuuri blinked, feeling honored. “Do you mind if I ask, why now?...”

Victor smiled at him, warm and full of love.

“Because my mind finally caught up to my heart. I tend to jump into things without thinking them through sometimes?... And after China, I realized it's more than just me that could be affected by that, be hurt by that now. I love you so much, Yuuri, and when you're _ready_ , I want to be ready too. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I could have done this simple thing and didn't, and ended up causing you pain,” Victor confessed.

Yuuri stared at him, blown away by the depth of commitment Victor was implying.

“Oh, Vitya.”

As Yuuri pulled him close, Victor bent down and stole a kiss. Yuuri was the one to keep it going though, placing his hand on the back of Victor's neck, holding him in.

“Can I go with you?” Yuuri asked once their lips finally parted.

“Of course. I always want you with me” Victor murmured back, smiling happily.

“Good. I want to be with you always too, Vitya.”

 

 

Even though they weren't in a rush, Victor didn't want to wait any longer than necessary to hear the results. He paid for the same-day version and was assured he'd get a call from the doctor's office before closing.

Yuuri held his hand while he had his blood drawn.

They both pretended it was in jest, but Victor really did get kind of squeamish. Yakov had stopped holding his hand for his mandatory ISU draws many years ago. Even though Victor _could_ have handled it on his own, it was nice not to have to. He supposed that was true about a lot of his life before Yuuri.

They took their time on the walk home, stopping for coffee and adorable pastries decorated like cats. Victor didn't once let go of Yuuri's hand the whole way back.

 

Since having a large block of time to themselves was so rare, they typically planned _some_ sort of scene for their days off. Today was no exception, which was part of why Victor had taken such an early appointment.

He'd asked Yuuri to tie him up again.

He'd also confessed after their last bondage session that he'd absolutely _loved_ it when Yuuri had surprised him mid-scene. Victor certainly trusted him to not to do anything harmful or gross, so he asked to left out of the loop a bit again. Yuuri had smiled and agreed, saying he _did_ have another idea he'd like to try.

Yuuri would need to commandeer Victor's bedroom for it though, and Victor had to admit, that had him intrigued. The only thing his dom had made a point to run by him was whether he felt comfortable having _all_ his limbs restrained. Victor may have shivered a bit at the thought of it? Causing Yuuri to grin?

Victor was currently banished to Yuuri's room while the man set up in Victor's. He wondered what his dom could be planning that would need the extra space, but he purposefully didn't let himself think about it too hard. He _wanted_ to be surprised, after all. Finally the door to Yuuri's bedroom slid open, causing Victor to perk up instantly.

Oh, wow.

Yuuri was wearing his suit, save for the jacket, and had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He also had on the tie Victor had bought him and he'd slicked back his hair. That was all nice, and certainly added to the aesthetic, but it was the look in his eyes that truly took Victor's breath away. He sank to his knees, feeling bad suddenly that he hadn't been waiting on them the entire time.

“Are you ready, Vitya?” Yuuri asked calmly.

“Yes,” Victor answered right away, bowing his head.

His dom took a step forward and rested a hand in his neck, “Colors, Vitya?” he prompted.

“Green, yellow, and red,” Victor recited obediently.

Yuuri squeezed his neck briefly, “Excellent. Look up at me, sweetheart. There we go. When we get inside your room, I want you to strip down to your underwear. Can you do that?” Yuuri asked.

“Yes. Green,” Victor said unprompted, excitement already coursing through his veins. Yuuri chuckled at his eagerness, swiping a thumb over Victor's cheek with a smile.

“Ok, on your feet then, Vitya.”

Victor was very careful to follow Yuuri's instructions, quietly reveling in the touch of Yuuri's hand at the small of his back while the man guided him down the hall. As soon as they got inside Victor's bedroom, his dom closed and locked the door. Victor only had a second to take in the bed, devoid of everything but the sheet, and _something_ being covered by a cloth over his bedside table.

“Alright, off with those clothes,” Yuuri's voice commanded.

Victor pulled off his shirt with one fluid motion, knowing that even though he wasn't supposed to make a 'show' of this part, Yuuri was still _watching_. His pants followed as well, though without as much fanfare.

“Ok, let's get you on the bed, sweetheart... Good, climb into the middle and lay down,” Yuuri instructed, guiding him with his hands and voice together. Once Victor was laying down on his back, he realized it wasn't the larger _room_ Yuuri had wanted, but the larger bed.

“Perfect. You're a natural, Vitya,” Yuuri told him, grinning.

“I do have a lot of practice laying down,” Victor teased back.

“I'm going to secure one limb at a time,” Yuuri indicated happily, staying on track, “We're going to go slow. I want to actually see how quickly you go down this time, alright? Can you give me a color?”

“Green,” Victor sighed, his stomach flipping in anticipation.

Yuuri smiled, kissing Victor's wrist before positioning it against the bed. The strap he used to bind it with was soft, tied firmly but not so much that it was worrying. Victor wasn't worried at all when Yuuri was in charge.

“How does that feel, too tight?”

“No,” Victor decided, his brain already narrowing in on the physical stimuli, “Feels good.”

Yuuri leaned over to get a good look at his face, smiling at what he saw there. He gave Victor a quick kiss before pulling back and moving to the end of the bed.

“Here, spread your legs a bit... That's good, right there. You're so nice and obedient, Vitya,” Yuuri said, giving his ankle an affectionate squeeze. He placed a kiss on his sub's foot, then bound it to the lower corner.

Victor could crane his head enough to see what was going on, but it was a stretch. He laid it back with a sigh after only a few seconds, deciding to just surrender to the experience.

“Open your eyes, Vitya,” Yuuri's voice said from close by.

Victor complied right away, blinking to find Yuuri staring at him affectionately.

“How does your foot feel?” his dom asked, stroking Victor's cheek.

Giving his toes a wiggle, Victor decided they felt great. He smiled up at Yuuri, who was taking such good care of him.

“Out loud, Vitya,” Yuuri said fondly.

“Great,” Victor sighed, feeling like that got the essence of his point across.

“It's incredible how fast you go down like this... You really like being tied up, don't you, sweetheart?”

Victor nodded, gently testing the give of his restraints so far. There was a little, but not enough to raise his arm more than a few centimeters.

“Ok, I'm going to do the next one then,” Yuuri told him, still smiling.

The tingle of anticipation in Victor's gut continued to grow as Yuuri bound his other foot, giving the same heartfelt kiss to it before hand. Again, Yuuri checked with him in between limbs, and again Victor gave the all clear. When Yuuri finally tied his remaining hand to the last corner of the bed, Victor felt a jolt run through his entire body.

He couldn't move.

He couldn't move, and god, it was amazing. It was so _freeing_. Even his background thoughts about how to act, how best to please, which smile to use, what mask he might need to have ready, they all just melted away. Yuuri would let him know if he wanted anything. Nothing else aside from that mattered. Victor could just exist, judged only by the man who'd already found him worthy. A languid feeling settled over him, the only attention being spared for his dom.

Yuuri's hand ran soothingly down Victor's arm, caressing him and just soaking in the view for a moment. He could almost _see_ Victor sinking farther down, and it humbled him.

“I'm going to give you a hug, Vitya, before we move on,” Yuuri informed him, brushing Victor's bangs away from his face.

Victor nodded, loving that his dom wanted the physical contact with him. Yuuri climbed on the bed, surprising Victor by straddling his mid-section and engulfing him completely in the hug.

“I love you so much, Vitya,” he whispered, holding tight. “I don't ever want you to doubt what you mean to me. Even if we have our issues sometimes, that doesn't change how I feel about you. You're incredible, spectacular... It's hard to put into words sometimes, but you deserve to _know_ , so I'm going to show you everything you mean to me,” Yuuri declared in an emphatic whisper.

“Love you,” Victor choked out, his thoughts a jumble of love and devotion that his higher thought process wasn't working well enough to properly express right now.

“Give me a color, my love,” Yuuri asked, raising up a bit so he could see Victor's eyes.

“Green, green,” Victor answered, clinging to the word.

Yuuri reached over to the bedside table, drawing away the cloth that hid its contents. He stayed perched on Victor's abdomen, picking up a soft paintbrush and dipping it into the already prepared well.

“I wasn't been able to find the right color finger paint, but in the end I decided the finer control of a brush was better,” Yuuri told him. “I'll still have my fingers on you anyway,” he added, smiling as he cupped Victor's cheek. He leaned down and gave Victor a kiss on the opposite one, before guiding his head to the side. “This will probably be a bit cold, but I want you to hold as still as possible for me, Vitya, understood?”

“Yes,” Victor felt his breath leave him in a rush, his body turning to putty in his dom's hands. Yuuri was right, a cool, wet sensation spread on his cheek where the man was drawing on him. Hands guided his chin back, exposing the line of his throat next. Yuuri placed a series of kisses down it, which Victor couldn't help but react to. He made a small, turned on noise, knowing that was ok now. Yuuri smiled against his neck, giving it one last peck in acknowledgment.

The slickness of the paint continued to be spread on his skin, working it's way down in smooth lines and quick dashes. It was like Yuuri was making sure he knew that every _bit_ of Victor was his. Victor couldn't think of another time he'd felt so _prized_ , knowing his dom had gone to all this work, done all this planning for him. Yuuri placed another kiss farther down his sub's chest, covering it with writing as well. Victor didn't even try to see, only hoping he'd be privy to the completed vision. He had been told to hold still, after all.

His bicep, a forearm...

Yuuri ran his fingers lightly down Victor's side, causing him to twitch at the ticklish sensation.

“Hmm, I'm going to have to remember that for later...” his dom commented.

Victor's eyes had been at half mast before that, but the sensation was enough to widen them. He was perfectly alright with Yuuri teasing him, so he hummed approvingly. The involuntary jerk had reminded him of the restraints too, that he wasn't simply laying here, he was under Yuuri's control. Thinking about words was a lot of effort, it was so much easier to float, uninhibited, in the safety of belonging to Yuuri.

Eventually Yuuri moved off his torso, taking the opportunity to hover over Victor and give him a kiss. Oh, it was heavenly to feel his dom's lips on his. Everything was warm and hazy and perfect with Yuuri kissing him. Victor could stay bound underneath this man forever.

When the kiss ended, Victor felt a hand being placed on his stomach.

“Are you ticklish here, my love?” Yuuri asked him, tracing his fingers over Victor's abs.

Victor shook his head, the sensation being produced was far from ticklish.

“Out loud, Vitya,” Yuuri reminded him.

“No,” Victor groaned.

“Give me a color,” Yuuri asked, removing his hand.

Victor took a minute to shift gears, wanting to just bask in the arousal he was feeling, of having Yuuri over him. “Green,” he finally answered, his brain moving sluggishly from Russian to English.

“Good, Vitya, good. You're doing wonderfully. You're a masterpiece,” Yuuri said as he bent down, placing a kiss just above Victor's navel. The contrast of the cool paint over his flushed skin made Victor want to squirm more than the other locations had. He tried to breathe from his chest without disturbing the lower area too much.

“Color? Are you doing ok?” Yuuri asked again, probably due to how much more rapid his breathing suddenly became.

“Green,” Victor repeated, scrunching up his toes in an effort to keep the rest of his body from shivering.

“Ok, I'm almost finished with this one.”

Victor nodded, uncurling and re-curling his toes. Somehow, it felt like if he tried that motion with his hands, it would be too much... So he kept them clasped tightly to the straps that bound them.

“It's remarkable watching you, seeing how badly you want to obey. You make me feel like the luckiest person in the world, Vitya, to have a man like you,” Yuuri told him once he was done.

“Mmm, green,” Victor murmured, feeling the praise wash over him almost like a physical sensation, relaxing him and making him want more.

As Yuuri repositioned himself at the foot of the bed, he indulged his sub, understanding the request.

“Your trust in me is so complete, it's an honor to be your dom. I couldn't imagine a better sub than you, and I don't ever try to. You're perfect for me, Vitya.”

Both Victor's thighs received a gentle kiss, then the dabbing of paint, following the established pattern. Victor floated in the wonderful sea of Yuuri's compliments while his dom worked, letting himself be the man's canvass. He served no other purpose but to please him, and if Yuuri wanted to paint a novel onto his skin, then Victor was more than happy to receive it.

Last but not least, Yuuri kissed the tops of Victor's feet. It was strangely less of a struggle to hold still through that, even though his feet were sensitive. Victor really, really wanted to know what Yuuri was writing there and didn't want it to be smudged. Plus, he certainly wasn't about to do anything that would contradict the obedience Yuuri loved seeing in him so much. He purposefully sank deeper into the languid feeling, letting physical sensations just flow through him as they would.

“All done. This needs to dry for a minute, then we'll get you untied,” Yuuri indicated, blowing gently on the wet paint.

Victor's leg jerked, and he gasped involuntarily, biting his lip afterward in an attempt not to thrash around and ruin things.

“Oh. _Oh_... Easy, Vitya,” Yuuri soothed, placing a firm hand on his sub's shin. “We'll note that for later too, ok?...” Yuuri said, eyes shining.

It took him a second, but eventually Victor nodded, quite enthusiastically, “Ok.”

Yuuri crawled back over him, staying on his hands and knees to avoid the paint.

“I love you. You're doing so well, Vitya. I'm going to untie you now, so you can see everything.”

Victor made a happy noise, glad to get to see the culmination of their efforts. His limbs were freed one at a time, in the reverse order they'd been bound in. Yuuri rubbed his wrists and ankles, asking if anything hurt.

“No, I'm good,” Victor sighed, his awareness of the world slowly expanding again. He glanced at the writing on his forearm, finding a line of careful kanji there. Victor was getting better and better at spoken Japanese each day, but this was far beyond his skill to decipher.

“It's washable paint, even though it's black it does come off fairly easy... Well, with a little scrubbing. I tested it out ahead of time,” Yuuri explained, holding out a hand for Victor to take.

“Do we have to?” Victor pouted, not wanting it to be _over_ over yet. He kind of wanted to look at Yuuri's writing on him forever.

“Eventually, but not right this moment,” Yuuri smiled as he helped Victor to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Can we take a picture?” Victor suddenly perked up, pout vanishing.

Yuuri raised his eyebrows, “You want me to take a photo of you like this?”

Victor nodded, “Then I could look at it whenever I wanted. And we could take some up close of each one, too.”

“What if someone else got a hold of our phones though?” Yuuri asked.

He thought about it for a second, he really did, but Victor couldn't summon much caring for 'potentially' being seen in his underwear...

“Why? Did you write something dirty on me?” he teased.

Yuuri gave him a flat look, but he _did_ blush at the same time.

“No, nothing like that. But anyone who could read Japanese would _know_.”

“Know what?”

“That you're mine,” Yuuri said, that possessive look flashing through his eyes again.

“I don't see the problem, then,” Victor replied breathlessly.

Yuuri cupped Victor's cheek, the one free of paint, and finally agreed, “Alright.” He retrieved his phone, pulling up the camera app and tilting Victor's head so the lighting hit his cheek correctly. The writing down the side of his neck was also clearly visible, so Yuuri figured that killed two birds with one stone, so to speak. The stylized shutter sound seemed loud in the room when he pressed the button.

“So, what does it mean?” Victor finally asked.

“The one on your cheek?” Yuuri said, showing him the picture, “It's sort of a combination of persistence and determination.”

Oh.

That hadn't been what Victor was expecting. Normally, people said things like “gorgeous” about his face.

“I would have written it on your forehead, but I didn't want to get the paint in your hair,” Yuuri explained, brushing his thumb along Victor's jaw.

Victor beamed at him, feeling inexplicably light in that moment.

“And what about on my throat? This one looks familiar... Is it Japanese for 'beautiful'?” Victor asked, tapping his lip with a finger thoughtfully.

Yuuri blushed, instantly and thoroughly, right up to the roots of his hair. “ _Victor_ ,” he groaned, “That's my name. You should know that one.”

“Oh. So, I was right then,” Victor smiled, handing the phone back to Yuuri so he could continue. Apparently his dom wasn't kidding when he said they would know Victor belonged to him...

Yuuri gave him a look of exasperated fondness, but didn't contradict the compliment. He took a picture of the words over Victor's arms next, explaining they meant “graceful” and “strong”. Down his chest, “surprising” was written so it lay over his heart. “Inspirational” was labeled at the core of him, and Victor was tempted to joke about that being on his abs specifically... But he didn't want to insult the emotion in Yuuri's eyes as he explained each one.

Down Victor's legs, “hard working” and “artist” were proclaimed in bold strokes.

Yuuri had him place his feet on the bed, to get the lighting right, before he snapped a picture of them side by side.

“I put these here, because they're the foundation of it all,” his dom said, tracing the curve of Victor's foot, “Love, and trust. I love you so much, Vitya. And I trust you with my heart. Either without the other, wouldn't be the same...”

There was no way to describe just _how much_ Victor loved this man in return, he had to kiss him to get his point across. Yuuri met him halfway, their mouths melding together as they each tried to show the other how they felt through the kiss. Victor slowly found himself on his back again, but this time he could wrap his arms around Yuuri.

It was quite a while before they pulled apart. Eventually the paint began to itch as it flaked off. Yuuri considered helping Victor get cleaned up to be part of the aftercare, not leaving his side for a moment. The portable tub was still sitting in the adjoining storage room, and since Victor's bedroom had actually been a banquet hall, there was hot water available. Yuuri took great care in washing him off, making sure to get every smudge and streak. He'd ended up getting some paint on his clothes when he and Victor were making out at the end there, but he'd worry about that later. It _was_ washable, after all.

After Victor was dried off and dressed, they realized the sheets hadn't escaped unscathed either. Yuuri changed them, then borrowed some clothes from Victor so they could cuddle without worry. Looking back, Yuuri realized it was silly of him to assume he could leave Victor alone enough not to get the paint on himself.

“Will you send the pictures to my phone now?” Victor asked, snuggled against his dom.

“Sure.”

Victor looked through them happily, a huge grin on his face as he did. It brought a huge sense of satisfaction to Yuuri, to have made his sub so happy.

At some point they must have drifted asleep, because suddenly Yuuri was jolted awake by Victor's phone ringing and buzzing between them. And there was not much space between them.

Victor fumbled for the phone, pressing it to his ear as he blinked away the dregs of sleep.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Nikiforov?”

Yuuri could hear everything that was being said since they were so close together. He figured if Victor cared, he would move away.

“Yes, this is he,” Victor answered, closing his eyes and pressing closer to Yuuri. Yuuri put his arm around Victor's waist, snugging him closer in commiseration.

“This is Dr. Ito's office, we just wanted to let you know the results were all negative. You can pick up your paperwork any time before 5pm.”

“Thank you, I'll do that,” Victor told them, his eyes flying open.

“You're welcome, we'll see you then.”

Victor hung up without saying “goodbye”, but Yuuri didn't comment on it. He was too busy holding on to Victor for dear life, returning the crushing hug he suddenly found himself in.

It took a few minutes for the overwhelmingness of his emotions to pass. When they did, Victor still didn't let go entirely.

“We should go out tonight, to celebrate!” Victor suddenly suggested, carefree and stunning in his relief.

“That sounds perfect,” Yuuri agreed, smiling just as wide and not letting go either.

 

 

 

 

 


	11. And you don't hold back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am, and by extension we all are, ignoring the whole “Victor's going back to Russia soon...” thing that Yuuri somehow gets stuck in his head in canon. Just FYI. Since this fic has him understanding the depth of Victor's commitment, it doesn't really mesh?... Enjoy!

“Hmm, I don't suppose we could make out on the ice again?” Victor asked.

“It's supposed to be short, so we _don't_ get distracted, Victor,” Yuuri reminded him. “Unless you want to move it to after my skate?” he asked.

“No, I _am_ interested to see just how you perform in such a situation, my love,” Victor said.

“I feel like maybe we should keep it simple? It'll be our first time trying anything _this_ public, after all... You could put my skates on me?” Yuuri suggested.

“I could, I'd like that... It doesn't feel like quite enough though?...” Victor told him.

“If I do well, you could kiss them afterward.”

Victor smiled.

 

 

 

After all these years, you would think that tuning out the crowd would be second nature for both of them. However, the crowd was kind of half the point of this... Victor positioned Yuuri next to the entrance gate in the rink's barrier, so he'd be ready to step right on the ice. His dom wanted there to be as little time as possible in between their scene and his performance, so he could hold on to the feeling easier. Victor agreed, knowing the less time Yuuri had to _think_ , and psych himself out, the better.

On one knee, Victor took great care guiding Yuuri's foot into his skate. He pulled the laces nice and tight, double knotting them to ensure they stayed that way.

Yuuri leaned back against the barrier, watching his sub with an intense look on his face. This was pushing his limits a bit with just _how_ public it was, but, it was actually _really_ working for him too... Normally, Victor was the very definition of a social butterfly, talking to people and reporters, laughing and smiling. It was heady, to have his sole focus be on Yuuri like this. He wished he could take this feeling and tuck it inside his chest, where it could press up against his heart and keep him grounded forever.

When Victor finally finished, he gave Yuuri a look that was both pleased and determined, like he could make Yuuri do well by sheer faith alone. Luckily, Yuuri had every intention of making sure his sub got to have the second half of their scene. Even when Victor momentarily turned to wave at the crowd _chanting his name_ , Yuuri didn't let it distract him from his goal.

Thinking fast, he reached out and grabbed his sub's tie, yanking the man toward him and forcing his attention back where it belonged.

“The performance has already begun, Victor,” Yuuri reminded him, letting the tiniest hint of jealousy creep into his tone.

Victor had heard the phrase, “instantly hard” thrown around here and there during his life, but he never thought to experience it himself. He was so thrown by how turned on he suddenly was, all he could do was keep his eyes down submissively and hope Yuuri _never stopped_ gripping his tie like that.

“You're right,” Victor agreed demurely.

“Don't worry, I'll show my love to the whole of Russia,” Yuuri said in his ear, not even bothering to whisper.

Victor was speechless, watching him skate away.

Yuuri blew a kiss out on the ice, and Victor wondered if this was what was meant by “helpless arousal”... Because he was more aroused than he'd ever been before in his life, and he was helpless to look away. Not that he wanted to. Confidence and sex practically oozed off Yuuri as he performed, quickening Victor's pulse even further. God, he needed to calm down, or he was going to have a _situation_ in the kiss and cry. Unfortunately, all Victor could think about was the 'good luck' kiss they'd shared before starting the scene. He pressed a finger to his lips while he watched Yuuri, letting the rest of them trail over his neck as a reminder of what had just happened.

Victor might need to re-negotiate his kinks after this...

If this performance was anything to go by, Yuuri might be completely on board with that...

Thankfully Victor was eventually able to scrape together a bit of control, cheering for Yuuri's jumps and forcing his focus back to _skating_. When Yuuri finished, the applause was like a tidal wave, pouring over them and all consuming. It was nothing less than he deserved, in Victor's opinion.

As soon as his dom's score was announced, Victor got back down on his knee and brought Yuuri's skate to his lips. It was absolutely blissful. He kept his mouth pressed to it for as long as he could possibly get away with, displaying pure reverence in the way he cradled it.

If Yuuri was flushed, it was obviously because of his recent physical exertion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh, Yuuri. Sorry to bother you during an event...”

 

 

“Victor. Go back to Japan right now!”

 

 

“Yakov! Thank God!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Skating without Victor for the first time in so long, Yuuri was surprised that he'd managed to pull it off... He did feel a little bad that it was a technicality which meant _he_ was going to the Grand Prix Final, and not Michelle Crispino... But he didn't make the rules, and they were there for situations like this, he supposed.

When he thought about how close he'd come to not making it though, it started to freak him out. To have had all the time and effort Victor put out go to waste would have been humiliating. As it was, Yuuri had only gotten in by the skin of his teeth. Not exactly something Victor could put on his resume... 'One step above humiliating: my improvements to Katsuki Yuuri's abilities' …

To top it all off, Makkachin, lovable, precious Makkachin, was in limbo right now fighting for his life. Granted, Yuuri didn't have the guilt devouring him personally over it like he had with Vicchan... But Yuuri felt for _Victor_ , knew what he was going through. He wished he could be there for him in Japan just as much as he wished Victor could have been here for him in Russia...

What he wouldn't give to be able to hug Victor right now.

There _were_ plenty of other people around though...

When Yurio ran to Yakov to get away from Yuuri's hug, it was the veteran coach who convinced him to just call it a night. And by convinced, he meant physically dragged Yuuri to the elevator and back to his room, muttering all the way about how he'd had his “threshold for drama seriously tested by Vitya, and now this, what did I do to deserve this...”

After Yakov was gone, Yuuri showered in a fugue state, going through the motions mechanically. Victor's things were gone from the room, and he was having a hard time dealing with that.

When he got out, there were a missed call and a voice mail on his phone. Both from Victor. With shaking hands he entered his pass code, listening to the message.

“Yuuri! Makkachin's going to be ok! Call me back when you get this message! Oh, and I'm so proud of you, my love, for making it to the final on your own. Call me, my love. I love you so much. I miss you. Ok, call me back.”

Yuuri collapsed onto the bed, the breath in his lungs easing even as his pulse skyrocketed with the adrenaline of the moment. Makkachin was going to live!

His phone started ringing in his hand. Victor's picture popped up on the screen, so Yuuri answered it right away. With no direct flights available the night before, the flight time to get back to Japan had been extremely long, so Victor had only landed a handful of hours ago. They talked for quite a while, until Victor heard Yuuri's stomach growling through the speaker. Yuuri promised to eat after they hung up, though both of them spent a frankly ridiculous amount of time saying goodbye before he did so.

He didn't have the energy to leave his room or deal with anymore people tonight, so Yuuri took a rare occasion to use room service. While waiting for it to arrive, he stared at the ceiling. His mind was still spinning far too quickly with the events of the past few days, so he didn't worry about falling asleep on accident. Yuuri wondered to himself if Victor was one of those people that drama constantly followed, or if his life just seemed more dramatic because of the way the man reacted to things... No wonder Yakov's threshold for it was tested...

“Threshold,” Yuuri suddenly said aloud, blinking. He sat up, reaching for his phone. Had it been three months, or only two since he last logged in online?... Oh my god, 3s & 247 must be freaking out right now. He'd pulled long absences before, but not like this. Even though he'd warned 3s a long time ago that he'd be on less, if he hit four months, he knew a lot of people would consider that meaning he was gone for good...

His life was just in such a constant state of 'go, go, go' that he had been neglecting his friends there for too long. Yuuri felt bad, but it was either that or cut into his precious little personal time with Victor... Or train less... Neither of which were really an option at all. But through a series of less than fortunate events, he currently had a moment of solitude. Yuuri didn't even bother trying to guess who might be on at this time. He figured he would just touch bases with whoever was there in the open chats, so they knew he was alive.

 

 

_90degreedom: it's an ongoing project_

_90degreedom: they only update when there's something new and relevant in the media_

_Scatter-shot: bdsm nerds of the world unite_

_Tiedup247: back_

_Tiedup247: omg relationship goals_

_Tiedup247: no pressure, Marcos :P_

_90degreedom: ^^_

 

 

There was a link farther up the page, which Yuuri was considering ignoring since he wasn't there to get involved with the current conversation... But when he glanced at it, _his real name_ was part of the description??!?

“Holy shit,” Yuuri breathed out in disbelief, tapping on it.

It lead to a tumblr article that started with two separate video clips, one a cell phone recording that began with Victor tying his laces...and the other an actual news clip which ended with Victor kissing his skates.

Yuuri stared at the screen of his phone with a growing sense of inexplicable dread in the pit of his stomach. He quickly went back to the website, turning his icon to ghost status so he could think for a moment. Hopefully no one had notice he was online in those few moments?... Yuuri really just needed a moment to process this?... And figure out how breathing worked again?...

He clutched at his chest, forcing himself to take deep breaths. Why was he being affected like this? He'd thought long and hard about how much of his and Victor's relationship he was comfortable showing to the world. It wasn't that. Yuuri had _not_ , however, counted on his friends online figuring out who he was in real life. He'd very purposefully kept the details about himself and his profession vague over the years.

Now that he thought about it, just because they were talking about this clip didn't mean they'd put it together that they KNEW this person... Ok, he was starting to calm down a bit. Yuuri picked his phone up again, knowing he could only go so far back in an open chat that he hadn't been part of... But from what he could see, no one was connecting the dots. _Thank God_. He kept reading until he got back to the real-time conversation, wanting to make doubly sure.

 

 

_sub-squent92: SO HOT_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: did you actually read the whole article?_

_Tiedup247: we skimmed it_

_Tiedup247: tumblr is annoying us atm_

_90degreedom: the important parts are the clips anyway ;)_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: you should read through it more carefully later, DeadlyChildArtemis makes some excellent points about normalizing the lifestyle & how exhibitionists like this are basically our ambassadors to the less kinky world. _

_Scatter-shot: I'm making a gif set_

_sub-squent92: i'm marrying your gifset_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: I want to learn to ice skate_

_90degreedom: forget the ice skating,_

_90degreedom: I wouldn't mind having my sub kiss my feet on international television tho_

_Tiedup247: *swoons_

_sub-squent92: omg_

_sub-squent92: get a pm you guys :P_

_90degreedom: :P_

_Scatter-shot: there's nothing inherently sexual about kissing feet_

_Tiedup247: if you think that then you're obviously not doing it right_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: @Scatter-shot do you need some ice_

_sub-squent92: fuck_

_sub-squent92: lol_

_fantabulousnate: OMG r u guys talking about the gay skating dom_

 

 

Yuuri choked a bit, covering his mouth with his hand as he continued to read.

 

 

_Tiedup247: NATE_

_sub-squent92: TELL US YOU KNOW HIM_

_Tiedup247: omg have you ever met him?_

 

 

Yuuri's heart stopped in his chest, his eyes going wide.

 

 

_fantabulousnate: just because I work at a rink doesn't mean i've met any famous skaters_

_Tiedup247: *tears up_

_sub-squent92: your life is a tragedy_

_fantabulousnate: don't I fucking know it_

 

 

Yuuri's entire body went lax at once, and he had to close his eyes for a moment to steady himself.

 

 

_Scatter-shot: nate you've failed us_

_fantabulousnate: yes but when I fail its fantabulously_

_fantabulousnate: ngl, i'm too pumped to be down right now_

_fantabulousnate: we are fucking living, guys_

_90degreedom: agreed_

_90degreedom: here here_

_fantabulousnate: plus_

_fantabulousnate: NIKIFOROV IS A SUB_

_fantabulousnate: FUCK MY LIFE_

_sub-squent92: is that his name?_

_sub-squent92: the dude on his knees_

_sub-squent92: he is hot af_

_90degreedom: agreed_

_Tiedup247: agreed_

_Scatter-shot: fuck yes he is_

_Scatter-shot: and hia dom too_

_sub-squent92: god yes he can spank me anytime_

_fantabulousnate: you guys should have seen nikiforov when he was younger w/long hair_

_fantabulousnate: i'm not into that sort of thing_

_fantabulousnate: but I challenge anyone to look at those pics_

_fantabulousnate: and not think_

_fantabulousnate: total jail bait_

_fantabulousnate: he's even hotter now tho_

 

 

Ok, so, Yuuri had always known Nate was kind of an asshole, but they all could be, in different ways. Hell, 3s could be downright _savage_ sometimes when he was pissed off... But this was someone insulting _Victor_ , right where Yuuri could see it. He almost jumped in and started reading Nate the riot act for that comment...before he realized that he was about to _blow his own fucking cover_.

Yuuri took a deep breath, trying his best to let it go, but moving Nate into a mental category that said he wouldn't be completely shocked if it turned out the man was a pedophile later... Who was he kidding? Yuuri was 100% going to dig through the man's entire online existence once he got back to his laptop in Japan... The fucking nerve of some people...

Ok, ok, this was not calming him down... Yuuri continued reading, half in suspense, half in a protective rage.

 

 

_sub-squent92: how long was the hair_

_Scatter-shot: why does it matter?_

_Tiedup247: ngl that's kinda creepy nate_

_Tiedup247: |__ _・_ _)_

_Tiedup247: ⊙_ _﹏⊙_

_90degreedom: that's not ok, nate_

_sub-squent92: omg is that what jail bait means????????_

_fantabulousnate: ugh_

_fantabulousnate: I do NOT support that kind of thing u guys know that_

_fantabulousnate: I just meant, u have to admit he's always been fucking gorgeous?_

_90degreedom: then say it that way_

_Tiedup247:_ _ヽ_ _(●-`Д´-)_ _ノ_

_fantabulousnate: i'm sorry_

_fantabulousnate: I apologize u guys_

_Tiedup247: get on ur knees if you want us to believe you_

_fantabulousnate: m(_ _)m_

_sub-squent92: can you put him on surveillance anyway?_

_90degreedom: you don't tell people when they're on surveillance :)_

_fantabulousnate: I am sorry guys_

_fantabulousnate: no, you're right, we'd do it to anyone else who said that_

_fantabulousnate: I don't have anything to hide_

_fantabulousnate: i'm just kind od an idiot :(_

_90degreedom: agreed_

_90degreedom: with the idiot part_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: @247 you're so lucky_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: not many doms bother to police each other like that_

_sub-squent92: yeah, he and cbd were some of the best_

_Tiedup247: it's not luck_

_Tiedup247: our feet kissing skills are unparallelled_

_90degreedom: and the being in love helps too ^^_

_Tiedup247:_ _（人_ _´∀`*_ _）_

_Scatter-shot: celebs are their own separate world anyway_

_Scatter-shot: you guys are real relationship goals_

_sub-squent92: agreed_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: agreed_

_fantabulousnate: am I allowed to agree?..._

_90degreedom: tentatively_

_90degreedom:_ (¬､¬)

 

 

Funny, but after all that, Yuuri didn't feel as guilty as he'd thought he would for being gone. Life was still going on without him...not that he had thought it wouldn't. But people were still watching out for each other, and that was heartening. He considered going out of ghost mode for a second. Honestly though, he knew his return would send 247 into a tizzy, and he didn't want the suspicion with Nate to be detracted from. Plus, Yuuri was kind of emotionally exhausted now...

He logged out, leaving them to it.

But he also set a reminder on his phone with just the word, “laptop” set to pop up the day after he got back to Japan.

 

 

 

Marcos stared at his chat screen even after the hubbub over the figure skaters finally settled down. He'd seen cbd's icon briefly flash to active, but then it had grayed out again a few moments later. How much of the conversation he'd seen, Marcos had no idea. Someone like him would definitely know how to ghost the site if he wanted. Marcos would treat it as if he was the only one checking up on Nate though, just to be sure.

He booted up a different laptop, wondering if this was a herald of cbd returning soon, like it had been last time...

“Marcos? Your phone's vibrating, and it says it's Laverne,” Bertrand shouted from the other room.

As much fun as they were all having with the planning of the joint funeral, he decided not to say anything to his significant other just yet.

“Answer it for me? I'll be right there,” he called back. If Laverne could make it to the funeral, that would even the numbers out for the performance...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“It's almost like a marriage proposal,” Victor beamed at him, kissing Yuuri's hand. “I wish you'd never retire.”

Yuuri teared up at how much of a 'yes' that was, holding Victor close again.

“Let's win gold together at the Grand Prix Final,” Victor added, sighing into Yuuri's neck.

...This man and his obsession with gold...Yuuri thought to himself, an idea formulating in the back of his mind. He put it away for later though, and held on tight to his sub.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There hadn't been a whole lot to find on Nate, which Yuuri was thankful for in the long run. The man may not have been entirely honest on his taxes, but Yuuri couldn't care less about that. By the time he was done, the only part of the man's life Yuuri hadn't rifled through was the underside of his literal bed. Which, there _could_ be something incriminating there... But these days, it was very difficult not to leave some sort of electronic trail in acquiring that type of stuff.

Yuuri didn't completely give up all suspicion, but he did let himself think of the man as mostly just an idiot who got carried away in the moment.

He knew he couldn't personally defend Victor against every asshole on the internet, but this was someone he'd talked to himself. Yuuri had needed to know. For anything less, he'd have just used the normal, acceptable channels. Like when he wanted to find the girl who'd written his free skate music again. Sure, it took longer to go through Phichit, who'd kept in touch with her better... But just because you _had_ power didn't mean you should use it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a Tuesday morning when Yuuri wondered if he and Victor shouldn't just start sharing a single bedroom. Would that count as moving in together? Did the way things were already count as them living together? He supposed they did. They'd slept through the night in each other's beds consistently since Yuuri got back from Russia. It wasn't like his family would be scandalized or anything if they took that step...

Watching the morning light play over Victor's skin, Yuuri had the thought that he _wanted_ the loss of his every privacy, where Victor was concerned. He wanted no barriers, no boundaries, no nothing between them. He... God, he was getting _aroused_ , watching his sub sleep beside him.

Yuuri blushed, letting his gaze travel over Victor's face, the elegant column of his throat, the width of his chest... He didn't even need to imagine the parts below the sheet, because he'd already seen everything. Well, he hadn't seen Victor _erect_ , Yuuri's mind helpfully supplied. Shit. He wanted to though? Yuuri was getting hard, imagining what Victor would look like full and firm for him.

With a sleepy shuffle, the man in question rolled toward Yuuri, snuggling on his chest. It was a sure sign that Victor was on his way to waking up. Yuuri lay on his back, trying to decide what to do. Victor put his leg over Yuuri's, though he kept his pelvis from pressing against him. So he was awake then...

Yuuri used his free hand to card through Victor's hair, feeling more turned on with every sleepy hum Victor gave. God, he adored this man.

“G'morning,” Victor mumbled without opening his eyes.

“Good morning, Vitya,” Yuuri whispered back.

Victor smiled, his eyes still closed, and tilted his face upward toward the sound of Yuuri's voice. “Kisu?” he requested trustingly.

Yuuri made up his mind.

Gently, he put his hand on Victor's shoulder and pushed him until he was flat on his back, rolling with the motion himself.

“No kiss?” Victor started to pout when he felt himself being repositioned. His eyes fluttered open though, so he got to see right before Yuuri straddled him. Eyes that had been sleepy were suddenly wide with shock.

“Is this ok?” Yuuri asked as he settled on top of him.

Victor, his mouth hanging slightly open, nodded.

“You can have a kiss,” Yuuri assured him, leaning down slowly to give Victor's mind a chance to catch up. Yuuri had been right, they were _both_ hard, and Victor had been keeping himself back out of deference.

“ _Oh_ ,” Yuuri said, breaking the kiss breathlessly as they rubbed together through their sleep pants.

“Y-Yuuri,” Victor stuttered, blinking at him in disbelief. He put his hands on Yuuri's hips, then removed one to reach down and pinch his own thigh.

Yuuri smiled, suddenly feeling mischievous. “Do you dream of this often?” he asked, rolling his hips.

“God,” Victor moaned, “ _Yes_.”

As incredible as it was to see Victor lost for words and in disbelief beneath him, Yuuri wanted to make sure he was really on the same page in the moment. Laying down on him so they were chest to chest, Yuuri stilled so they both could focus.

“I want you,” he said, looking Victor in the eye.

Pure joy spread over his sub's face, making Yuuri blush to see it.

“Just- Just to be clear, you mean, sexually?” Victor double checked, his hips giving the smallest of twitches.

“Yes? I mean, maybe for right now, we can just...” Yuuri thrust gently against Victor to get his point across, seeing how much the man loved it.

Victor bit his lip as a small whine escaped him, nodding enthusiastically.

“Yes, please yes... Maybe... Can we take these off? Will that be too much?” Victor asked, slipping just the barest edge of fingers under the waistband of Yuuri's pajama pants.

“No, that would be great,” Yuuri told him, “I want to see you.”

Victor shuddered underneath him.

“I want you to see,” he responded, voice already thick with need.

Yuuri lifted himself up just enough to work their pants free. The sight of Victor was striking, naked and flushed with arousal beneath him.

“Fuck, you're so beautiful,” Victor said, running a hand over Yuuri's hip. “Can I touch you?” he asked, willing to accept any answer, but certainly hoping for a particular one...

“Yes,” Yuuri said, “Can I? Touch you too?”

“Of course, my love. _Please_ ,” Victor answered, sliding a hand down to cup Yuuri's ass. He gave it a squeeze, which made Yuuri's hips jerk and his dick bob with the motion. Victor smiled, his eyes lighting up to see it.

Balancing on one arm, Yuuri slowly palmed Victor's cock. It took him a few seconds to work up the courage, but he finally grasped it the way he really wanted, testing the girth of it in his hand. He gave Victor a slow, firm stroke, just to see the man's reaction.

“Fuck,” Victor swore again, rocking up into it.

“What do you like?” Yuuri asked, “What do you want?”

“You,” Victor moaned, “You.”

“Do you have any lube in here?” Yuuri asked fondly, figuring to stick with his original idea then.

Victor blinked at him, processing the question. “In the drawer on the right.”

It was a stretch, but Yuuri could just barely reach it without leaving Victor's side. He uncapped the bottle, squirting more than he probably needed into his hand. It was still a little cool when he slicked it over himself, so he took more care to warm it before doing the same to Victor. His sub's eyes were filled with longing, but he seemed more than willing to just wait for Yuuri. After giving his hand a cursory wipe on his discarded pants, Yuuri lowered himself back down to Victor, rubbing their bodies together.

It was slick and warm and holy fuck, their dicks touching sent a jolt up Yuuri's spine. Victor spread his legs to accommodate him, wrapping them loosely around Yuuri's lower half. Almost mindlessly, Yuuri started to rut against him, both of them panting and moaning at the sensation. Victor surged up and kissed him, surprisingly tender for how aching it was.

This closeness was exactly what Yuuri had wanted, the shared pleasure connecting them in a way he had never experienced before. He felt like there was nothing about Victor that was separate from him now.

“You're gorgeous, you're mine, Vitya,” Yuuri groaned, both their hips working in tandem.

“Ah, would you, ah, hold me down?” Victor asked in between pants, somewhat hesitantly.

There was nothing in the world that Yuuri would deny this man if it was within his power. He took hold of Victor's arms, pinning them above his head on the bed.

“ _Fuck_ , _Yuuri_ ,” Victor closed his eyes as his head fell back.

Taking a bit of initiative, Yuuri mouthed at his sub's neck, scraping his teeth along it in just the way he'd discovered Victor liked when making out. His veins were on fire, the pleasure way more intense than masturbating had ever been. He wasn't going to last much longer. Yuuri bit Victor's neck more firmly, not giving a damn about where the mark fell.

Victor shouted underneath him, his back arching in a graceful curve that was as beautiful as it was obscene.

Fuck, Yuuri was so in love with him.

He came a few thrusts later, still holding on to Victor tightly, spilling between them in a warm, sticky mess. His mind whited out for a moment, the pure pleasure of it lasting longer than Yuuri was used to. He collapsed against Victor, who was already coming off his own high now.

“Amazing,” Victor praised, his voice soft and sated.

“You're more amazing,” Yuuri countered sleepily, giving the underside of Victor's jaw a kiss.

Victor hummed happily.

After a few minutes of tracing fingers over skin and nuzzling into each other, things below were starting to get too sticky to ignore.

“We should probably get up soon,” Yuuri suggested, since it seemed like Victor wasn't going to. The man sighed heavily in response, not even opening his eyes. Yuuri chuckled, pulling himself up so he could see Victor's face properly.

“No falling back asleep, we're going to be late enough to practice as it is,” Yuuri reminded him.

Victor opened his eyes lazily, giving Yuuri a happy grin. “Like watching,” he said, still at half a whisper.

Yuuri's eyes widened at seeing how unfocused Victor's were.

“Oh, Vitya... Sweetheart, you're down, aren't you?” he asked, feeling a sudden spike of pride in his chest when his sub nodded.

“A little?”

“Ok, I'm going to get you cleaned up, so we can cuddle some more. Would you like that, Vitya?” he asked, seamlessly changing his plans. It wasn't a 'side' of him anymore. It wasn't something he acted out or had to mentally prepare for. Yuuri was at any and all times ready to take care of Victor, and be taken care of by him.

They had only a half day of practice that Tuesday, but Yuuri felt stronger than ever after it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> |_・) = hiding
> 
> ⊙﹏⊙ = worried
> 
> ヽ(●-`Д´-)ノ = angry
> 
> m(_ _)m = apologizing
> 
> （人´∀`*）= in love
> 
> (¬､¬) = angry


	12. So I won't hold back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we're jumping back and forth between the funeral and the engagement, since they take place more or less simultaneously ;) Brace yourselves. Also, if you've never heard the song “Choke” by OneRepublic, you may want to go listen to that first... Not required though.
> 
> I tried to live up to the hype you guys... I hope you like it :P

“Whoa! Y-Your freezing! Quit clinging to me! Both of you!”

 

“Don't be such a model coach now. This is my first time in Barcelona, so take me sightseeing.”

 

“I haven't shopped in ages! This is fun!”

 

 

 

 

Marcos did a last check of all the cameras, computers, and timers about 20 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start. One of his co-workers, Laverne, who had become surprisingly vested in the affair, was doing a last minute sound check on their impromptu stage. The rest were milling about, sticking close to the access road where the ground was firmer. High heels tended to sink into the too soft grass, and Marcos himself had on a pair of interim flats while he got things set up. Bertrand was at the keyboard, staring at the sheet music like it had personally offended them.

This morning had not started well, which usually heralded a bad day for them...

But they were determined, and Marcos knew how much this meant to them. He hoped it went well, for all their sakes. Even if it didn't, the internet would probably still love it, so there was always that... Bertrand did cheer up whenever the hits on their youtube channel spiked.

 

 

 

 

“No, it's ok, Yuuri. The nut shop would be closed by now. You must be tired anyway, let's just head back.”

“You don't have to say it like that.”

“Well, _I'm_ tired.”

 

 

 

 

“Alright, the video stream is going live in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...” Marcos mouthed the last few numbers, holding them up on his hand. Then he clicked the button.

The camera was trained on Bertrand, who was dressed in a sharp black suit, the sun setting behind them. They could have been any average Frenchmen in appearance, but Marcos' sub was irreplaceable in his heart. The smile on their face was watery and genuine as they started speaking.

“Thank you all for joining us today; here, and around the world,” Bertrand said in accented English.

 

 

 

 

Yuuri's eyes sparkled whenever he was looking for an answer. Victor thought quietly to himself that this time, he would just support him until he found it.

 

 

 

 

“We're going to start with each telling our favorite story, about Cherryblossomdom and Sweetsilversub. Afterward, this video will go up on youtube, and we encourage everyone else to leave their favorite memories in the comments there,” Bertrand instructed.

“When I first met cbd, he was still Cherryblossom _boy_... Even then, he had a definite protective streak,” they continued fondly. Taking a second to draw a deep breath, they straightened their posture and continued, “I was 19 when a _fake_ dom started stalking me online, and found out who I was in real life. He threatened me, repeatedly. And... Well, cbd and his roommate went after him, doxed him and turned him in to the police. They arrested the guy at a hotel across town from me... I believe cbd saved my life by doing that. Out of all the good times, the chats, the jokes...he acted when it mattered, and I'll never forget that,” Bertrand's voice wavered at the end, but they stood tall.

Marcos had never been so proud of anyone in his life.

Picking up the bag at their feet, Bertrand started walking westward, toward the edge of the scenic overlook. The guardrail wasn't as aesthetic as they would have liked, but the brilliance of the dying sunset mostly made up for it. They scooped out a handful of cherry blossom petals, holding their arm out toward the drop off. The wind coming off it pulled the petals out of their hand before they could throw them.

Deciding to go with it, they rolled down the edges of the bag so the petals were mostly exposed, and held the whole thing out over the edge. It was an offering accepted, to see the flurry of red and pink spread out in the air around them. When the bag was finally empty, Bertrand clutched it to their chest as they watched the petals be carried away on the wind.

 

 

 

 

“Victor! Let's go in this store!”

 

 

 

 

Marcos pulled Bertrand into a tight hug when they returned, “That was _perfecto_ , darling, good job.”

Bertrand hugged him back just as tightly, marveling at how lucky they were to have him as their dom. They pulled back so Marcos could do his part next, taking a moment to drink in the sight of this gorgeous man beside them. Bertrand had seen him in his full drag plenty of times, but somehow the all black ensemble for this occasion made it seem more elegant than usual.

“Though I certainly do have a lot in common with cbd, I'll be the one sharing my favorite story about 3s today,” Marcos smiled. “Once upon a time, there was a very lonely, vain man who just wanted to be told he was a good boy.”

Bertrand snorted.

“Hush, darling, it gets better,” Marcos teased, smiling. “As I was saying, this man was lonely, in the sort of ridiculous, self-imposed way that only a wealthy person can be. So he tried filling his life with all manner of expensive things. Suits, vacations, _convertibles_... And yet his life continued to be _unfulfilling_ , and he whined about it to me nearly constantly. He was literally a hair's breadth away from quitting his job and completely self-destructing, when he finally decided to actually _take a chance on love_. As much of an over-dramatic asshole as he could be, 3s was a goddamn pillar of our community. He always took time to answer new sub's questions, encouraged people to watch out for abusive situations, coached them on what to look for in a dom that would compliment their own interests... I met Bertrand through him, he was the one who suggested they'd be open to my affections. I owe a lot of my current happiness to having known 3s. So as much as we tease him, about his age, and the convertible, and everything else...he was more than that. He deserves to have met someone, and to be happy. If that means that we don't get the piece of him that we used to, well, _c'est la vie_.”

 

 

 

 

Victor stood on the steps of the cathedral with Yuuri, shaken and unable to believe what was happening. The way his dom pulled Victor's glove off seemed like there was a haste to it, like Yuuri couldn't stand having the barrier between them, however thin. Victor's hand had never been cradled so tenderly before this. It felt like the very core of his existence was trembling as Yuuri slid the gold wedding band onto his finger.

“Thank you, for everything,” Yuuri said in that quiet, humble way of his. As if Yuuri hadn't been the one to give _Victor_ everything.

 

 

 

 

“Some of my friends and co-workers agreed to come here today to help us give a fitting tribute. 3s, you ridiculous bastard, this is for you,” Marcos said.

He and Bertrand walked hand in hand to the stage, splitting apart to take their respective places at the mic and at the keyboard. There were two framed pictures leaning against the legs near Bertrand's feet, one of a branch covered in cherry blossoms, the other of a toy convertible.

The first notes of “Choke” by OneRepublic came alive under Bertrand's fingers, and Marcos began to sing.

 

 

 

 

“I'll say something you won't even have to think about, my love,” Victor replied, sliding the matching ring gently onto Yuuri's finger. “Tomorrow, show me the skating that you can honestly say you like best.”

Victor and Yuuri both moved forward at the same time, into each other's arms. They kissed, a poignant brush of lips that soon became a declaration all in its own.

 

 

 

 

As the song's chorus was about to kick in, the camera panned out to show the rest of those gathered on the stage. A dozen men in perfect make up and six inch heels made up the accompanying choir. They were all wearing black, though their dresses were of different styles. Their movements coordinated with the music, born out of a long familiarity with performing together.

Marcos put every ounce of feeling and flair he could into his performance, hoping that they would get to show this to 3s later if he returned. But if he didn't then this really did need to be as fitting a tribute as possible, falsetto and all.

Either way, he was happy for his friend.

 

 

 

 

“Let's get something to eat, I'm starving,” Victor said, grinning from ear to ear as he and Yuuri walked back through the market. They had their arms wrapped tightly around each other, and Victor planned to never let go.

 

 

 

 

The final crescendo of the song was fast approaching when the camera zoomed out one last time. There was a small, carefully barricaded funeral pyre off to the side, with a vintage, hot pink Barbie convertible resting atop it. As the piano cut out to focus on the choral build up, flames burst into existence along the bottom of the pyre.

With the accelerant they'd used, the fire quickly moved upward, engulfing the whole thing by the time the piano's part came back in. They finished the song while it blazed, Bertrand getting a little teary eyed as Marcos' last notes filtered out.

“Cbd,” Marcos spoke into the microphone as the flames crackled, “We hope you continue to watch over us from afar. And 3s, wherever you are, we hope you're out there getting tied up as we speak.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“At last year's Final, I was always by myself, even at the banquet. I couldn't even talk to Victor,” Yuuri told them.

Victor choked and spit out his drink.

 

 

 

“Don't get the wrong idea. This is an engagement ring! We'll get married once he wins a gold medal. Right, Yuuri?”

“V-Victor!”

 

 

 

Victor had never been so glad to have a moment be interrupted by that Canadian guy whose parents obviously had focused on teaching him skating at the expense of etiquette. Victor was trying to motivate Yuuri in that “I believe in you absolutely,” kind of way by saying they'd marry after he won gold... But he'd kind of forgotten that the friends around them were the actual _competitors_ too? Having all their attention simultaneously turned to Yuuri in _that_ manner was the last thing his dom needed right before an event.

So the Canadian was a useful distraction, if nothing else.

 

Back in their hotel room, Yuuri asked to see the photos on Victor's phone again. The look in his eyes was not a good one, from Victor's experience.

“Yuuri,” Victor started, only to have the man cut him off.

“I have a right to see them, don't I?” Yuuri asked, his voice unanimated and flat.

“Is it, _upsetting_ to you, Yuuri?” Victor asked, handing over his phone. “Because if it is, then I have to suggest, as your coach, that you not look at them at this particular moment...” he said, the implication that it would affect his skating tomorrow left hanging in the air.

“It's not-...” Yuuri sighed, running a hand through his hair, “ _Upsetting_... It's just... Is this why you really came to Hasetsu? Because you thought I was...” Yuuri trailed off with a shrug of Victor's phone, unable to pick any one word to describe the photos contained there.

Victor raised his eyebrows. “Oh, Yuuri,” he said, gently taking the phone back. He brought up one of the photos of Yuuri on the pole, tilting it so the screen was visible to both of them. “This _is_ the man I became infatuated with, the one I _pined_ over when he wasn't at World's last year,” Victor admitted, blushing slightly. “But that's all I did for him.” He backed out of the folder, pulling up a video that had been saved to his phone instead. “But _this_ is the man that I went to Hasetsu for,” he said as Yuuri's rendition of Stammi Vicino began playing. “This is the man who resonated with me in a way I couldn't ignore, the one I _needed_ to go to.”

“V-Victor...”

Victor pulled Yuuri into the tightest hug possible, letting his phone fall to the bed. He felt Yuuri's hand slide its way into the hair at the back of his head, as if holding on for dear life.

“You were still expecting someone different when you first arrived though... God, that's so obvious now,” Yuuri stated.

Before Victor could open his mouth to respond, Yuuri asked him a question.

“Why did you _stay_?”

“Because by the time my infatuation with your former 'drunk self' was wearing off, I'd already started falling in love with the real you,” Victor answered easily. “And just for the record, my love, if I'd realized you had no memory of that night, I would have addressed it a long time ago. I just figured you were embarrassed by it, once I knew you better, and were acting like it'd never happened because of that...”

“Ugh, I think 'mortified' would be a better description...” Yuuri mumbled into his neck, finally easing back on the intensity of the hug.

Victor smiled fondly, even though his fiance couldn't see it.

“You have nothing to be 'mortified' over, my love. Maybe a little embarrassed, I'll grant you, but you're beautiful, you're gorgeous, you're captivating in a way you don't even understand...” Victor told him. “I'll admit, if we hadn't made that connection at the banquet, I probably wouldn't have hopped on a plane for just a stranger emulating my work. But like I said earlier, I didn't take that risk over just a beautiful boy who could dance well, either,” Victor said honestly.

“You really suck at pep talks, Vitya,” Yuuri grumbled, snuggling closer to him.

“Ah, sorry... I'll just shut up and hold you now?” Victor replied, squeezing him momentarily tighter. Yuuri squeezed him back, both of them moving by unspoken agreement to lay on the bed while they held each other.

 

The next morning, Victor snuck out of their hotel room on his own, leaving his sleeping beauty to rest after their emotional night. Yuuri had always preferred to sleep in when possible and Victor was in a frame of mind to indulge him where he could. Maybe along the way back he would scout out a cafe to take Yuuri to for some real tea... The kind served inside hotels never seemed to be quite the same, no matter how high end.

He couldn't help but get caught up in the view of the sea afforded along the walkway. When he'd last had the time to just stop and take in the natural wonder, it had been when he and Yuuri were still figuring out if they could _work_. Now, they were _engaged_.

It really made Victor think about how his life had turned out so differently from how he'd pictured it would go. The last time Victor had woken on the morning of a Grand Prix Final, he'd taken an hour to get himself out of bed, because there was no point in facing the day any earlier than needed. So much of his life had changed because of Yuuri, in the best ways imaginable.

Victor held his hand out in front of him, watching the gold gleam in the morning light. None of the other gold that had been bestowed upon him meant as much to him as this ring did.

Then he was unceremoniously kicked in the back.

 

 

 

“Victor Nikiforov is dead!”

 

 

 

Staring down an angry Yurio, Victor thought about how if Yuuri had retired and Victor had stayed competing, the boy wouldn't be nearly as motivated as what was being... _displayed..._ right now. Yuuri, his amazing Yuuri, effected so many people's lives for the better without even knowing it. Would Yurio have worked so hard if he hadn't lost the Hot Springs on Ice event? Victor didn't think so. The boy had been firmly on the road to discovering that a big fish in the little pond is not necessarily a big fish in the big pond, and in a hard way.

Victor himself would have been even further down the spiral he'd been in before, and he shuddered to think about it. Now, instead of being stuck in an endless cycle he couldn't find a way out of, Victor was _genuinely happy_. Even when he was _off_ the ice. That... That right there was huge for Victor, who could remember a time when he'd been happy in the rink, but not when outside it.

 

If it took the death of a “Living Legend” for Victor to finally find happiness, well, so be it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Scatter-shot: BEST FUNERAL EVER_

_sub-squent92: I fucking bawled_

_Scatter-shot: LIKE SERIOUSLY_

_sub-squent92: it was so beautiful_

_Tiedup247: we like to think 3s would be proud_

_90degreedom: I posted cropped stills to tumblr_

_90degreedom: for anyone who wants to change their icon in remembrance_

_asdfghjkl: pls tell me there's one of the pyre in full flame_

_90degreedom: there is^^_

_Tiedup247: and you can totally still make out the convertible on top of it <3_

_Scatter-shot: 247 scattering the petals?_

_Tiedup247: YES and we look all respectable and shit too_

_90degreedom: it was a very solemn moment_

_sub-squent92: i'm STILL crying_

_sub-squent92: cbd would have appreciated his part of it too_

_asdfghjkl: just 'his' part?_

_asdfghjkl: the whole thing was amazing_

_90degreedom: cbd and 3s were/are two very different types of people_

_Tiedup247: lol_

_Tiedup247: LOL_

_90degreedom: something to share with the class? :P_

_Tiedup247: nope_

_Tiedup247: we were sworn to secrecy long ago_

_Scatter-shot: tease :P_

_Tiedup247: let's just say Marcos and cbd had more in common than *just having started out as subs_

_Tiedup247: and he might have appreciated the performance part of it just fine_

_sub-squent92: that wasn't cryptic at all_

_sub-squent92: OMG there's an icon of the choir posing_

_sub-squent92: be still my heart_

_Scatter-shot: that choir ftw tho_

_Scatter-shot: do you think they'd agree to perform at my funeral?_

_90degreedom: that's a bit morbid_

_asdfghjkl: lol THAT'S morbid?_

_90degreedom: I can ask..._

_90degreedom: just know it won't be cheap_

_asdfghjkl: how much did it cost you???_

_90degreedom: nothing_

_90degreedom: but they owed me a favor ;)_

_Scatter-shot: individually or collectively?_

_sub-squent92: why does it matter?_

_Scatter-shot: just wondering how many favors were called in for the making of, that's all_

_Sweetsilversub: who owed Marcos a favor?_

_Tiedup247: holy fuck_

_Scatter-shot: oh fuck_

_Scatter-shot: oh fucking fuck_

_Sweetsilversub: am I missing something? :(_

_90degreedom: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME_

_sub-squent92: aewrdsjzffulgyko;mnklds_

_asdfghjkl: oh my fucking god_

_Tiedup247: tell me you are drinking starbucks right now, 3s_

_Sweetsilversub: ???_

_Sweetsilversub: no_

_Sweetsilversub: why?_

_Tiedup247: BECUASE YOU ARE FIFTEEN MINUTES LATE TO YOUR OWN FUCKING FUNERAL_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rest In Peace
> 
>  
> 
> No, but seriously though, I'm betting a conversation about being dead would jog Victor's memory of his friend's thresholds :P  
> Also, 247 knows about the free dance class ;)
> 
> Somewhere along the way I decided Yuuri was a computer science major, and probably belongs to a loosely organized group of doms that *Do Not Put Up With Shit when it comes to subs in their sphere being harassed/abused.  
> Ymmv ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ


	13. We are we are

After dealing with a good natured rant from Marcos, which he'd only understood a few words of, Victor finally got to watch the footage of his own funeral. Several passers-by gave him strange looks while he laughed to the point of _tears_ on the sidewalk. Oh god, it was absolute perfection. He had to send bouquets worth of emoji hearts to everyone who had been involved. Then he changed his own icon to be the flaming convertible.

Victor headed in to the nice little cafe he'd found along the way, to just bring back something for Yuuri instead. He'd been gone so long the man was sure to be awake by now, late sleeper or no. It wasn't entirely his fault though, the open chat that had been started to announce his return had maxed out the 99 users possible. Some of these people he only vaguely remembered having talked to before, but oh well. It was nice to see so many cared. He was only able to finally sign out on the walk back to the hotel by claiming he needed to get back to his dom, which was not a lie.

He was in a great mood for the rest of the day, but Yuuri was not. It happened sometimes? And was kind of to be expected right before his performance? Victor did his best to just _be there_ , to support him the way _Yuuri_ needed. But he could tell the stress was getting to him, nonetheless. Before Yuuri left his side at the barrier, Victor gave his dom's ring a kiss, hoping it conveyed how thoroughly he believed in him.

 

 

Yuuri took his place on the ice, waiting for Eros to begin. After giving his ring a kiss, he tried his best to get lost in the moment, instead of his head. There was no such thing as partial success at the Grand Prix Final though. He touched down on his quad flip, which was as good as failure in his book. Yuuri collapsed to the ice afterward, frustrated and dismayed at his continual inability to come through when it mattered.

“Sorry,” Yuuri said softly as Victor took him in his arms. They would head to the kiss and cry in a minute, but hugs came first. Yuuri's hands tightened in the fabric of Victor's jacket. “I'll never get to marry you with a performance like that,” he admitted, voice wavering.

“What?” Victor frowned, pulling Yuuri away from him enough to see his face. “Oh my god, do not tell me you thought I was laying down some sort of _ultimatum_...” Victor demanded to know, searching his face. “Yuuri, my love, I said that about 'a gold medal' because I wanted to show my confidence in you. You will win gold, _like_ we will get married. Two separate things, not dependent on each other,” Victor explained, feeling awful.

Yuuri's visage slowly drained of it's sorrow and stress. He stared at Victor like his world had just been turned upside down in the best possible way.

“We _will_...” Yuuri said, like he was repeating a lesson to try and absorb it. He took a huge breath, feeling like a weight was just removed from his chest. Victor pulled him into another hug.

“Yes, _of course_ we will. If you said you wanted to run away and elope _right now_ , before we even hear your score, I would go with you,” Victor whispered in his ear, squeezing tighter for a moment. Yuuri squeezed back.

“ _Vitya_... Ok, ok... I mean, not that I want to run off right now,” he clarified, sounding relieved.

Victor smiled, “I'm so sorry I made you think that, my love, can you forgive me?”

“I guess...” Yuuri smiled back, “Just, don't let it happen again.”

 

 

 

Yuuri wasn't sure what to make of the look on Victor's face when Yurio broke his World Record for the Short Program.

The light in his eyes was definitely contemplative while Otabek Atlin was skating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“By the way, Yuuri... What did you want to talk to me about?” Victor asked, still toweling off his hair.

“Well, I was wondering if you've thought about where we'll live next year...” Yuuri asked, setting his phone aside.

“What? You mean, move out of the onsen? Why?” Victor asked, perplexed.

“I just thought, after I retire, we could go to St. Petersburg if you want?... I saw the way you were looking at the ice today, Victor. I want you to know, if you'd like to go back to competing, I'll support you, 100%,” Yuuri assured him.

“...What do you mean, 'next year', 'after you retire'?” Victor asked, stilling his movements.

Yuuri blinked, taken aback. “Victor? I was always planning on just giving it the one more season... Even you said in the beginning that you were going to take me to the Grand Prix Final.”

Victor frowned, shaking his head slightly, “I meant you deserved to have the support you needed to win such a major event, because you have the talent to be in the winner's spot.”

“Oh...” Yuuri rubbed the back of his neck, “But what about your career?”

“This isn't about me,” Victor said, his voice bordering on accusatory.

“Um, it kind of _is_ , Victor... Don't you want to compete again?”

“How can you ask me to get back on the ice when you're leaving it?” he countered angrily.

“Victor, I just want you to be happy,” Yuuri told him, trying to keep things calm. He didn't understand why Victor was getting so upset over this conversation.

“I'm happy like this, I don't want things to change,” Victor said emotionally, clutching his hand over his heart. The gold of his engagement ring flashed in the light.

“Change is part of life, Victor, even if we both wanted to, neither of us could skate forever,” Yuuri pointed out.

“I know that,” Victor said sharply, looking upset that he had to explain, “I just meant I want to keep helping you be the best you can be. When you asked me to be your coach until you retired, and I said I hoped you _never_ would, I _meant_ it.”

“Oh... I...thought that was a metaphor?” Yuuri said hesitantly.

“A metaphor for _what_?”

“For 'yes'?”

They both stared at each other silently for a moment.

“...Do you want to get married?” Victor asked, voice suddenly unsure.

“ _Yes_ , of course I do, more than anything, Victor,” Yuuri answered. “Do... Do you want to compete again? Have you thought about going back?”

“Not at all. The only thing I want to think about is you.”

Yuuri's eyes widened. “Victor... Vitya, that's... That's not healthy... This has to be about both of us,” he said softly.

“ _This_ always has been,” Victor said, gesturing between them, “You're the one who wants to retire and have me go back to skating and cut _yourself_ out. That's not ok either, Yuuri,” Victor argued, all the anger he'd felt a second ago surging back.

“It's not cutting myself out to follow the plan I had all along.”

“So you won't even _consider_ staying?”

“You won't even _think_ about whether you'd actually want to come back or not...” Yuuri stated, irritation finally creeping into his tone as well.

Victor made an exasperated sound, unable to voice how he had _just let go_ of being a 'Living Legend' _this morning_. There was a half-formed thought in the back of his mind, growing in size with every passing second. Did Yuuri think it was ok to make huge decisions like this without him? Victor didn't suspect the man of being that kind of selfish, but it was hard to give him the benefit of the doubt when Victor was so _hurt_.

Even if it wasn't that, how dare Yuuri think so little of himself, that he would sacrifice his career at the alter of Victor's? He glared at Yuuri, who was looking at him with a mixture of disapproval and disbelief. Standing up, Victor went over to his suitcase, taking out his clothes and pulling them on angrily.

Yuuri blinked at the sudden change, turning to watch his fiance's jerky movements.

“Um, what are you doing?” Yuuri asked, confused.

“ _Apparently_ I need to _think_ about going back to competing. I need to relive being lonely and listless and existing in a world where the only color was gold. Apparently it's so _vitally_ important that nothing else can happen until I do. So _that's_ what I'm going to do,” he said scathingly.

Yuuri was in shock, completely caught off guard by Victor's tone and actions. When Victor went to the other side of the bed and grabbed his phone, Yuuri stood up quickly, understanding now that this was spiraling completely out of control.

“Victor...” he said, reaching to try to take his hand and...and, _redirect_ , this somehow.

Victor batted his hand away, eyes mad.

Automatically bringing his other arm up to gesture surrender, Yuuri backed off, not wanting to make things _worse_.

Victor seemed to misinterpret him for a second, taking a step back. His eyes weren't wide, but there was a hesitant flash in them. Yuuri didn't like that reaction. His mind reeled, his heart jumping into his throat.

“Are... Are you ok?” Yuuri asked, slowly dropping his hands.

Victor blinked at him, taking a moment to answer. “No,” he said firmly.

“Victor... I see how mad you are, but I don't know why,” Yuuri said, his eyes brimming with emotion, “Please, _please_ don't go anywhere right now. Just, talk to me. Tell me why this is upsetting you so much.”

“Because you're deciding things without me!” Victor said, clearly hurting.

“I had made this decision before we were together, I wasn't purposely leaving you out, because there was no reason to include you. I didn't even know you, back then,” Yuuri added, trying to appeal to reason.

“And since then?” Victor asked, crossing his arms and looking at the far wall as if his gaze could drill through it.

“I'm including you now,” Yuuri said, taking a hesitant step forward.

Victor was still frowning, but he glanced over at his fiance.

Yuuri tried his best to look penitent, his hand twitching where it wanted to reach for the man he loved again. It had to come from Victor though, after what had just happened. Yuuri was absolutely not going to do anything that could be misinterpreted again.

Victor kept staring at him intensely, like he was trying to decide if that was enough.

“I'm sorry for upsetting you, Victor. I would never, ever do anything if I knew it was going to hurt you,” Yuuri spoke again, realizing what hadn't been said.

Hearing the words, Victor's face softened.

Hope quickened in Yuuri's chest.

Victor uncrossed his arms. He didn't make a move towards Yuuri though. Not yet. They stood in silence for a moment while Victor decided what he wanted to say.

“Why give it one more year at all? If you were ready to be done, why didn't you just quit back then, right away when you stopped loving it?”

“I never stopped loving the ice. I hated failing miserably in front of thousands of people,” Yuuri clarified.

“...Did... Was it because of me showing up that you thought you _had_ to?...” Victor asked, sounding slightly horrified.

“No, I'd already decided to give it one more year when I skated Stammi Vicino,” Yuuri explained, “Learning your routines always inspired me to do better, helped me re-connect with the ice again.”

Victor gave him a small smile, knowing he'd been the man's hero. “And now that you're doing _wonderfully_ in front of thousands of people?” he asked, trying to show as much tact as Yuuri was, for once.

Yuuri looked away, obviously thinking about it. “I'm not sure? I... Guess I was kind of looking forward to the pressure being off at the end of this season. But I can't really picture what I'd be doing instead?...”

“Oh...” Victor hadn't thought of it like that. He supposed if Yuuri was willing to be so honest, then he could too. “I, didn't love skating anymore, at the end of last season... It used to be _everything_ to me... But it wasn't enough on its own after so long of not having anything else. I was seriously considering quitting at the end of that year anyway,” Victor confessed.

“You were?” Yuuri asked, shocked.

Victor shrugged, tipping his head. He looked around the room, seeing it but not. “Can we sit down? Together?”

“Of course, yes,” Yuuri said, relieved.

They ended up one on each of the pushed-together beds, facing each other with their knees threaded.

“Seeing the way you watched the competitions today, I'd never have guessed you didn't like it anymore,” Yuuri said carefully.

“I don't know... It felt, different... More like it used to? Seeing people try their hardest even without me, and well, seeing my record broken... But I don't know what it would be like now. I certainly wouldn't want to do it without _you_ ,” Victor said.

“Vitya,” Yuuri said, taking Victor's hand and bringing his ring up to his lips, “You never have to do anything without me for the rest of your life. I hope you know that. I always wanted... I always wanted to skate on the same ice as you... To compete with you, and have you notice me,” Yuuri blushed.

“I notice you, Katsuki Yuuri. And we _are_ great when we're on the same ice, aren't we?” Victor smiled, thinking of the exhibition skate they'd been working on.

“Yes, we are,” Yuuri agreed.

“I think...” Victor started, peering into Yuuri's eyes, “I think whatever we do, we should do it together? If, you wanted to try staying, I'd be willing to give going back a chance, knowing you'd be there... But if not, then we would both just...?” Victor trailed off.

“Stay together,” Yuuri finished for him, squeezing Victor's hand more tightly.

“Yes, _stay together_ , whatever we do,” Victor reiterated, squeezing back.

“I think that's a perfect plan,” Yuuri smiled, his eyes shining with love.

His smile was contagious. One soon spread over Victor's face as well, the relief of their agreement overshadowing the fact that nothing else had been decided.

 

 

 

The next morning dawned clear and cold. Victor could see the sun streaming down on the breathtaking Barcelona vista through their window. He rolled over, not wanting to miss a moment of the gorgeous view afforded him this early. Yuuri was so beautiful when he slept. He was beautiful all the time, but even _more_ so when the worry and stress eased away. Victor hoped his dreams were as serene as the look on his face.

Yuuri reached for him in his sleep, causing Victor's heart to _ache_ in his chest. He scooted closer, settling into his love's arms again. Who knew how long he laid there, just watching Yuuri slumber on, taking in every detail he could. The exact way his hair curled around his ear. The shape of the shadow cast by his nose. The fading bruise of a love bite over his collarbone.

Victor was sure if he stared long enough, the secrets of the universe would be revealed in the flutter of his eyelashes.

“Mm, 'morning,” Yuuri mumbled, “What time is it?”

“Early, my love,” Victor told him, not even looking at the clock. He reached up to stroke the skin of Yuuri's shoulder, carefully avoiding the bruise from a fall there. Yuuri shivered, opening his eyes the rest of the way.

“I love you,” Victor told him, feeling it needed saying, bore repeating, and would probably be the last phrase on his lips some day. Yuuri's sleep relaxed face smiled at him, and Victor was _gone_.

“I love you too... Kisu?” Yuuri asked, hearing the noise Victor had made even though he was only half awake.

Victor nodded, leaning in eagerly. He pressed his lips to Yuuri's, marveling at the tingle it gave him each time, even now. Yuuri's hands slid around his waist, pulling him close as they kissed.

“That was our first real fight, I think,” Yuuri said when the kiss was done, suddenly _knowing_ they'd look back on that moment with nostalgia.

“Can we have make up sex then?” Victor asked, eyes lighting up.

Yuuri blinked at him, then smiled widely, “I'd be willing to give it a try...” His thumb began rubbing little circles over his fiance's hip.

Victor's eyes took on a mischievous glint, “No penetration before competitions, that's a rule. I'd absolutely _love_ getting to blow you though.”

“Oh, is that a rule?” Yuuri snorted, waking up more and more, “When did the ISU initiate that one? And how _exactly_ are they checking for compliance?”

“It's on the honor system,” Victor said, already getting excited at the thought of having his mouth _on_ Yuuri. They'd shared an exquisite hand job the day before flying to Spain, but that was it on the sexual front. Victor knew that it was important to let Yuuri go at his own pace, but he didn't feel it was too much to give suggestions in a situation like this.

Yuuri closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head at Victor's quick comeback.

“Are you going to jerk off while you blow me?” Yuuri asked curiously, getting back on topic, “Or should we plan something else?”

“Um, can I make a request?”

“Of course, Vitya.”

“Can I fuck your thighs afterward?” Victor asked, his face betraying _exactly_ how much he wanted it and having absolutely no qualms about Yuuri seeing it.

“My thighs?... Like... Oh, ok. That would be fine,” Yuuri decided, finding it a little odd but not one to question other people's kinks.

“And...”

“And what, sweetheart?” Yuuri prompted.

“And can we use one of the new ties?...”

“Oh. Hmm, we were going to take _that_ slowly... Were you wanting to be in front of, or behind me?” Yuuri asked.

“Behind,” Victor said, always and continually shameless when it came to that particular body part of his dom's.

“I think we could make that would work...”

“You're so good to me,” Victor said, his heart skipping a beat.

“You're so good _for_ me,” Yuuri replied, “In more ways than one, Vitya. I want to give you everything, in return.”

Victor smiled, the lightest of blushes dusting his cheeks.

Yuuri ran his hand up the skin of Victor's stomach, smoothing a line up his chest, ending the motion with his palm resting on the man's throat. “Do you want to wear the tie while you suck me too?” he asked.

“Please,” Victor replied, pupils already dilating.

“Alright then, bring me the one you want,” Yuuri instructed, giving Victor a quick peck on the lips. He half expected his sub to fly out of the bed in haste, but to his surprise, Victor smiled and stretched languidly before sitting up. Every movement he made was graceful; sitting, standing, walking to their luggage... Yuuri realized he was being treated to a show and watched intently. He was particularly enamored with the way the morning light fell over Victor's shoulders.

As his sub picked a tie, Yuuri reached blindly to the side, grabbing a pillow and moving it to the floor for Victor's knees. Since they had slept in nothing but their rings last night, there weren't any other preparations to make. Yuuri could tell Victor was already half hard just from this... He sat so he had one leg on either side of the pillow, giving his own firmness a stroke while he waited.

When Victor turned from the suitcase, his eyes went wide. The twitch his cock gave was visible even from the bed, making Yuuri smile.

“God, Yuuri,” Victor said, sinking to his knees on the provided cushion, “You're such a natural, my love.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said, taking the tie from Victor. He draped it loosely around his sub's neck, letting the ends hang over his chest. “Color?”

“Green,” Victor said, shivering at the intensity of his arousal.

“I'm just going to hold it this time, no knots, and we'll see how it goes.”

“Alright,” Victor nodded.

“Can you reach my ankles?” Yuuri prompted.

Victor placed each of his hands over his dom's corresponding ankles, “Yes.”

“If it becomes too much, and you can't speak, put both your hands on my ankles for yellow. Squeeze them for red. Obviously if you can speak, say whatever you need to, Vitya. I want you to practice this though, since it's not our normal signal,” Yuuri told him, walking Victor through placing and squeezing a few times in a row.

When he was satisfied, Yuuri threaded both ends of the tie through his fist, sliding upward over the fabric until there were only a few centimeters between it and Victor's throat. He tightened his grip so that there was very little give to the positioning.

“Color, Vitya?” Yuuri asked, his voice a little lower than normal.

“G-Green,” Victor said, swallowing hard against the constraint. It was certainly tighter than he'd wear a tie, but not enough to actually hinder his breathing. God, so this was why subs were so obsessed with being _collared_... He'd never felt such an intense level of ownership from Yuuri's domination before. Victor loved being at Yuuri's feet, he knew that. But like this, it was as if he _belonged_ there, and was finally fulfilling his purpose in life.

He opened his lips seductively, leaning forward into the V of Yuuri's legs. Thankfully Yuuri took his direction at first, allowing Victor to explore as he wanted. For a long time, Victor had been dreaming of getting to taste Yuuri. He savored the feel of him finally passing over his tongue, the way his lips were stretched and mouth was filled. With his hands being free for this, he could run them over Yuuri's glorious thighs while he sucked. His dom panted above him, little gasps escaping him as Victor worked up a rhythm.

Then suddenly Victor went to draw himself back from Yuuri's length, and _couldn't_. He nearly came right there on the fucking spot, it sent such an intense surge of pleasure through him. His hands clutched Yuuri's thighs, making sure to stay far away from his ankles. A few seconds later Yuuri let him draw back, so Victor took the initiative then and there to let him know just how 'ok' he was with that.

“Green,” Victor pulled off just enough to say before sliding back down. “Emerald,” he reiterated after his next bob upward. He was going to do it a third time and say _viridian_ just to really drive the point home, but Yuuri held him down on his dick again, and Victor _moaned_ around it instead. Shit, he was going to come all over the hotel room floor if he wasn't careful.

“ _Vitya_ , oh, _fuck_ ,” Yuuri said, biting his lip as his legs trembled.

With one hand, Victor reached down to grip the base of his own erection, staving off too soon of a climax. The other he wrapped around his dom so that his palm rested on the small of Yuuri's back, fingers splayed. It was an encouragement and an endearment all at once, and it sent the man tumbling over the edge.

Victor kept _himself_ down over Yuuri's cock as his dom came, swallowing as much as he could. Yuuri came so hard that his toes curled and his back bowed, saying Victor's name over and over again. He let his grip on the tie go, not wanting to hurt him, but it stayed slung around Victor's neck as it was.

Victor had to squeeze himself tightly to keep from joining him. He really, _really_ wanted Yuuri's thighs though, so he wasn't giving up on it, now that he had Yuuri's permission.

“Sorry, sorry,” Yuuri panted, eyes closed and mouth hanging open, “I don't think that lasted even a full two minutes...”

“Don't apologize, my love,” Victor said, licking his lips, “When you held me down that first time, I nearly came untouched.”

Yuuri raised his eyebrows, looking at Victor's face as if trying to determine if the truth was being told.

“Someday, I am going to sit you down in front of a mirror and not let you up until I've gone over every single beautiful thing about you,” Victor sighed.

“Hm, are we experimenting with switching things up here?” Yuuri said lightly, obviously going for a joking atmosphere.

“You're gorgeous,” Victor said, ignoring the implication and placing a gentle kiss on Yuuri's knee, “I wish you could see it.”

Yuuri's first instinct was always to deflect a compliment, but the tone in Victor's voice made him realize this was something Victor truly _wanted_ , for Yuuri to know Victor was sincere. It would be rude, to dismiss his sub's opinion in that way...

“I... Thank you...” Yuuri finally decided on, hoping his acceptance of the compliment would be understood correctly. Victor looked up at him with gratitude written all over his face. Yuuri blushed.

“I see you, Yuuri, _trying_. I'm so proud to belong to a man like you,” Victor said softly yet firmly, smiling up at him.

“Come up here, sweetheart, we're not done yet,” Yuuri said, his eyes getting a bit misty. He put a hand on either side of Victor's face, guiding it to his own so he could kiss his amazing sub.

“I hope you don't mind the taste...” Victor said, more as a reminder of what he'd just been doing than that he thought Yuuri really would.

Yuuri didn't hesitate though, he just gave Victor _a look_ and then pressed their lips together. “That would be pretty hypocritical of me, since I definitely want to return the favor,” he said after having explored Victor's mouth. He made to reposition them so they were laying on the bed, Victor following his lead easily.

“For next time though, right? I still get to?...” Victor squeezed his dom's thigh for emphasis, laying beside him patiently as he waited for confirmation.

“Of course, Vitya. Do, you want to try both?” Yuuri asked. He felt comfortable renegotiating things mid-scene since Victor wasn't down.

“Ah... I, probably won't last long enough for trying both...” Victor confessed, looking sultry and seductive while he did so. “And I really, really want to slide in between your glorious legs, my love,” Victor said, his voice dropping low, “It's obscene, the way they flex under your spandex.” Victor ran a hand up and down from Yuuri's knee to his hip. “I can't even tell you how many times I've daydreamed about it while watching you practice.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Yuuri's breath left him in a rush. He put his hand on the back of Victor's neck, not having realized just how vested his sub was in this particular act, “Of course you can.”

Victor grinned, kissing Yuuri's wrist as his hand withdrew. “I'm going to get the lube.”

Yuuri nodded, chuckling at his eagerness. When Victor returned, he settled in at Yuuri's back, placing kisses down his neck as he warmed the lube in his palm. Lifting his leg a bit, Yuuri provided his fiance with access, finding the act a lot more intimate than he would have imagined. The slickness over his thighs was unusual, but the way Victor's hand caressed him as he spread it was purely loving.

Yuuri twisted around enough to find the ends of the tie that were still trailing off Victor's neck. His sub gave a little turned on moan as Yuuri adjusted them, evening out the lay of it so both ends were over Yuuri's shoulder.

“I'm ready when you are, sweetheart,” Yuuri said.

“Fuck. It'll be a miracle if I don't come all over you on the first thrust,” Victor divulged, his voice sounding conflicted.

“Do you need a minute?” Yuuri asked, smiling to himself at Victor's troubles. It was kind of amazing to be wanted like this...

“No, no... Just, maybe you should _pull_ from the start...” Victor asked, his face flushing as he aligned his hips with Yuuri's thighs.

Taking the cue, Yuuri arched his back and applied a firm motion to the tie, forcing Victor's head toward him without jerking it. He didn't want to risk injuring him, after all.

“Vitya,” Yuuri commanded, “Fuck me already.”

A noise of inexplicable arousal was made in Yuuri's ear, and he felt Victor's length slide in between his legs.

“ _Y-Yuuri_ ,” Victor moaned as his hips rocked, “Holy fuck.”

“Oh... Oh, that's... Wow...” Yuuri conceded, finding the reality of the sensation not nearly as awkward as it had sounded. Yuuri let a little slack over his shoulder, only to draw Victor in again right away. His sub made a surprised sound that was full of longing, which made Yuuri arch his back even further in response.

“God, this is amazing. Vitya, Vitya, this was a great idea,” Yuuri exclaimed, his own hips rocking against Victor's out of arousal.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” Victor groaned continuously over Yuuri's shoulder, coming messily between his thighs a moment later. His hands gripped all that incredible muscle as he emptied himself, whimpering into the skin of Yuuri's neck.

They both lay there, breathing harshly together for different reasons.

“Are you hard again already?” Victor said in amazement once he'd come down.

“Um, yes?”

 

They spent the rest of the day alternating between napping and testing Yuuri's 23 year old stamina, and missed every open practice on the schedule.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	14. We are tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the canon but at the same time, f*ck the canon.

“You breaking my record is the ultimate bliss as your coach, but it's the ultimate diss as a competitor,” Victor said in Yuuri's ear as they hugged at the kiss and cry.

Yuuri's Free Skate score of 222.14 rested next to his name on the board.

“What do you mean?” Yuuri asked.

“I mean, _yes_ , if you want to, yes,” Victor said, his admiration for Yuuri showing blatantly on his face.

Yuuri just looked at him for a moment, absorbing what Victor had said. Realizing the majority of his excitement over Victor's possible return was because of getting to be on the ice with him again, Yuuri made the second easiest decision of his life. “Ok then, Victor, let's, _yes_ ,” he grinned, pulling Victor close again.

They watched the rest of the competitor's Free Skates with their hands clasped together. Yurio's performance was inspiring, yet nerve wracking at the same time. History was being made tonight and Yuuri could tell it would be so close that there was no way to know which side of it he'd fall on. It seemed like the entire arena was holding it's breath while Yurio made his way to the kiss and cry.

As the scores were announced, Yurio got a determined look on his face. Immediately the scoreboard updated, with Yuri Plisetsky in second, and Yuuri Katsuki still in first.

Victor jumped for joy, shouting a “Yes!” that was probably audible all the way in the stands.

Yuuri stared, reading and rereading the board in disbelief. Then he put his head between his knees.

“Yuuri!” Victor was beside him right away, “Are you alright?”

“Uh, I think I might throw up, actually...” Yuuri said, gulping lungfuls of air.

“Hmm, we're going to have to get you more used to winning, my love,” Victor chuckled, rubbing his back.

“Oi! Katsudon!” Yurio stalked up to them.

Suddenly wary, Yuuri straightened and blinked at the young teen.

“Congratulations. But don't expect to ever beat me again!” he added, scowling.

“Thanks, Yurio,” Yuuri smiled, holding a hand over his raging stomach. He held the other out to the extraordinary young skater in front of him, “Congratulations to you too.”

Yurio begrudgingly shook, with Victor beaming in the background at both of them.

“This is going to be so good!” Victor exclaimed, clasping his hands together and popping a foot behind him in the air.

“Tch, what is?” Yurio demanded to know.

“Next year!” Victor told him.

When Victor didn't elaborate, Yurio directed his scowl back to Yuuri.

“Ah, I've decided _not_ to retire next year,” Yuuri explained, knowing there was a rumor about it going around.

“And so have I,” Victor said, putting his arm over Yuuri's shoulders and generally clinging to him.

Yurio stared at them, dumbfounded, “You're coming back to competition?!?”

Victor nodded, smiling at his fiance.

“Who's going to coach Katsudon then?” Yurio wanted to know.

“Oh, I'm sure Yakov will take us both on, he's always liked Yuuri,” Victor said, waving his hand dismissively, “Besides, Yuuri hardly even needs a coach, he's such a self-starter. I spent as much time screwing up as being helpful in that respect, and look how well he did!”

That, was surprisingly self aware for Victor, Yurio had to admit.

“Whatever, I'll beat you _both_ into a pulp next year then!”

“We look forward to it,” Yuuri smiled, relaxing into his fiance's arms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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_Cherryblossomdom: i'm so, so sorry_

_Cherryblossomdom: real life just completely consumed me for a while there_

_Tiedup247: there were petals scattered and a choir and everything_

_Cherryblossomdom: ???_

_Tiedup247: ok well maybe the choir was more for 3s, BUT STILL_

_Cherryblossomdom: what happened to 3s?!??!!_

_Tiedup247: you guys both dropped off the radar within weeks of each other_

_Tiedup247: so after you both hit the 3_ _rd_ _threshold_

_Tiedup247: we held a joint funeral <3_

_Cherryblossomdom: I didn't realize it had been that long, holy shit_

_Cherryblossomdom: no one's heard from him either?_

_Tiedup247: he's fine tho_

_Tiedup247: he logged in to an open chat the next fucking morning_

_Cherryblossomdom: that sounds about right for him, lol_

_Tiedup247: Marcos started swearing in spanish_

_Tiedup247: it was hot as hell_

_Cherryblossomdom: i'm sorry that you guys were worried_

_Tiedup247: we figured you were *ok_

_Tiedup247: just maybe moved on..._

_Cherryblossomdom: i'm a horrible friend_

_Cherryblossomdom: i'm so sorry_

_Tiedup247: nah_

_Tiedup247: it's cool :D_

_Cherryblossomdom: is there any way I can make it up to you?_

_Tiedup247: you already have_

_Tiedup247: our youtube channel is trending right now (_ _ノ_ _^_^)_ _ノ_

_Cherryblossomdom: what?_

_Tiedup247: we told you_

_Tiedup247: THERE WAS A FUNERAL_

_Tiedup247: www.youtube/funeralofthecentury_

_Cherryblossomdom: omg_

_Tiedup247: we livestreamed it too_

_Cherryblossomdom: what?!?_

_Tiedup247: total log in was 211 people_

_Tiedup247: just watch it_

_Tiedup247: we'll wait (^_−)o_

_Cherryblossomdom: …_

_Cherryblossomdom: WHAT ON EARTH_

_Cherryblossomdom: WHY DOES IT HAVE SO MANY HITS_

_Tiedup247: people identify with the theme_

_Cherryblossomdom: OMG_

_Cherryblossomdom: so that's why your icon is a flaming convertible..._

_Tiedup247: the one of the choir is actually the most popular_

_Cherryblossomdom: i'm literally speechless right now_

_Cherryblossomdom: I don't know what to say_

_Tiedup247: say you'll hop over to an open chat_

_Tiedup247: Marcos saw the gleeful look on our face and asked who we were talking to ;P_

_Cherryblossomdom: ok, I can do that_

_Cherryblossomdom: I just wanted to apologize personally to you first :)_

_Tiedup247: <3 <3 <3_

_Tiedup247: will you be able to talk for a while?_

_Tiedup247: Marcos will spread the word if so_

_Cherryblossomdom: sure_

_Cherryblossomdom: i'm on a lonely train ride atm :(_

_Cherryblossomdom: should be at least an hour_

_Tiedup247: perfect!_

 

 

 

 

_90degreedom: well well well_

_90degreedom: the prodigal son returns_

_90degreedom: ^^_

_Cherryblossomdom: i'm so sorry for being gone that long_

_90degreedom: apology accepted_

_Sweetsilversub: oh sure_

_Sweetsilversub: he gets 'apology accepted'_

_Sweetsilversub: and I get sworn at in a language I don't speak :(_

_Cherryblossomdom: lol_

_Scatter-shot: welcome back!_

_Cherryblossomdom: it's good to see you all again_

_Tiedup247: we did miss you_

_Sweetsilversub: i've chosen not to believe google translate's version for the sake of our friendship, Marcos :P_

_90degreedom: you don't know anyone else who speaks spanish? :P_

_Sweetsilversub: no :(_

_Sweetsilversub: I suppose I could make my own guess based on french_

_Scatter-shot: the saga continues_

_sub-squent92: CBD!!!_

_sub-squent92: you're back <3_

_Cherryblossomdom: yes_

_Cherryblossomdom: m(_ _)m_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: omg it's true_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: he LIVES_

_Cherryblossomdom: *blushes_

_Sweetsilversub: it IS good to see you though, cbd :)_

_Cherryblossomdom: you too :)_

_Cherryblossomdom: apparently our funeral was pretty popular?_

_Sweetsilversub: it was EPIC_

_Sweetsilversub: I want that choir to perform at my irl funeral <3_

_Scatter-shot: that's what I said :P_

_Scatter-shot: lol_

_Cherryblossomdom: omg_

_90degreedom: I can't get a hold of asdfghjkl to tell them cbd is back_

_90degreedom: :(_

_Sweetsilversub: what about nate?_

_Tiedup247: what ABOUT nate?_

_90degreedom: nate's on surveillance_

_Sweetsilversub: what?_

_Scatter-shot: ugh_

_sub-squent92: have either of you heard about the gay skating dom?_

_Cherryblossomdom: um_

_Cherryblossomdom: confession time?_

_Cherryblossomdom: I may have ghosted that convo and already looked through nate's everything and cleared him?..._

_90degreedom: HA_

_90degreedom: I knew it^^_

_90degreedom: but I cleared him too_

_Tiedup247: we still don't trust him tho_

_Cherryblossomdom: I mean, he's still a fucking idiot_

_Scatter-shot: too true_

_sub-squent92: are we still telling 3s about the gay skating dom tho?_

_Sweetsilversub: uh, if somebody explained, that would be great..._

_sub-squent92: so these figure skaters TOTALLY had a public scene a few weeks ago_

_Scatter-shot: like, in the media and everything_

_sub-squent92: and of course it was all over this site_

_Sweetsilversub: that makes sense_

_90degreedom: and nate works at a rink_

_90degreedom: so everyone was asking if he'd ever met them_

_Tiedup247: and then he made some *creepy ass comments about that russian sub dude_

_Sweetsilversub: what did he say?_

_Scatter-shot: he said something about him being jail bait when he was younger_

_Scatter-shot: and 247 got upset_

_Tiedup247: and Marcos put him on surveillance :)_

_Sweetsilversub: I see_

_Tiedup247: but aside from all that you NEED to see that article_

_sub-squent92: holy shit yes_

_Tiedup247: did you ghost read it cbd? :P_

_Cherryblossomdom: no, just saw the clips_

_Cherryblossomdom: *blushes_

_Scatter-shot: *links you to it_

_Scatter-shot: LINK_

_Sweetsilversub: wow, hot_

_sub-squent92: too bad they're obv both taken :(_

_Scatter-shot: maybe they're into sharing ;)_

_Cherryblossomdom: idk_

_Cherryblossomdom: the dom looks pretty possessive of him_

_Sweetsilversub: I agree ;)_

_sub-squent92: lol_

_sub-squent92: yeah, that tie pulling FTW_

_Scatter-shot: even tho nate's a total and complete idiot_

_Scatter-shot: as we have well established_

_Scatter-shot: he WAS right about that russian dude having long hair before_

_Tiedup247: we've seen it too_

_Tiedup247: *so jealous_

_90degreedom: long hair is a pain to keep up tho_

_Sweetsilversub: yes it is_

_Sweetsilversub: did anyone ever know where nate was from?_

_Sweetsilversub: just out of curiosity_

_Cherryblossomdom: Los Angeles, US_

_Scatter-shot: BUT_

_Scatter-shot: subs w/ long hair r the best & u cannot tell me otherwise_

_90degreedom: ^^_

_Cherryblossomdom: idk_

_Cherryblossomdom: all you really need is enough to get a handful_

_Tiedup247: oh shit_

_90degreedom: agreed ^^_

_Scatter-shot: :(_

_sub-squent92: I have to side with cbd on that one_

_Scatter-shot: @3s, pick a side_

_Scatter-shot: :P_

_Sweetsilversub: I could go either way ;)_

_Sweetsilversub: @cbd, thanks_

_Tiedup247: the hair debate is SO 2013 you guys_

_Cherryblossomdom: no problem_

_Cherryblossomdom: do you mind if I ask why?_

_Sweetsilversub: I may have gotten that vibe from him before_

_Cherryblossomdom: did he ever harass any younger subs that you know of?_

_Cherryblossomdom: because I could still go either way on doxing his ass :)_

_Sweetsilversub: lol_

_Sweetsilversub: no_

_Sweetsilversub: like I said, just a vibe_

_Sweetsilversub: but you did CLEAR him, though_

_Cherryblossomdom: yeah_

_Cherryblossomdom: what did he say to YOU that gave you that vibe?_

_Sweetsilversub: ah, nothing specific that I remember_

_Sweetsilversub: it was a long time ago_

_Cherryblossomdom: ..._

_Cherryblossomdom: now I AM leaning toward doxing him_

_Tiedup247: 3s has a dom to watch out for him now, cbd :P_

_Sweetsilversub: true <3_

_Sweetsilversub: but I don't know if he's quite as internet savvy as you guys_

_90degreedom: if he ever needs that kind of help on your behalf, let us know_

_Cherryblossomdom: yeah, we're always willing to help_

_Sweetsilversub: thanks guys :)_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It took about a week for the worst of the commotion over Yuuri winning gold to die down. He had to do official interviews for the ISU, for Japan, and for a few of his sponsors. Plus he suddenly had more new sponsorship offers to review for next season than ever before... Victor was just as busy, having announced his return to competition. Their schedules had been crazy, hardly getting to see one another aside from right before falling asleep.

Yuuri practiced as much as possible after that, with World's looming large next month. Victor seemed to think he was a shoe-in for gold there as well, but Yuuri was incapable of letting his guard down.

“It was less than a point that I won by. Yurio could easily beat me out for gold next time,” Yuuri reminded his coach.

“There was _nothing_ easy about Yurio's routine. If he had to push himself to that extreme to keep up with you, there's a good chance some slip will be made, statistically, in a future iteration of it,” Victor pointed out.

“I'm not counting on other people messing up to win,” Yuuri said, “Besides, _I_ had to push myself to an extreme as well.”

“I know, I know... That's not what I meant, Yuuri. I just... I miss you?” Victor said, rubbing his thumb over Yuuri's wrist.

“Oh. I miss you too,” Yuuri admitted right away, realizing he'd misread Victor's intent at the beginning of this conversation. “You know, if we kept to the same training schedule we'd had before, tomorrow would be a rest day...”

“Half a day, even a few hours would be great. It doesn't have to be a whole day. I don't ever want to detract from you being prepared for your competitions,” Victor told him.

“No,” Yuuri countered, realizing something himself, “I want the whole day.”

Victor smiled at the declaration, “Should I clear my schedule then?”

“Yes,” Yuuri answered, looking him in the eye, “You should.”

Victor's heart rate picked up, “Oh... Ok.”

 

 

“I've done some research, as best I could, but I want to know what your thoughts are, what works best for your body,” Yuuri told him the next morning. Yuuri had insisted they go right back to their room after breakfast was over, which clued Victor in that they were getting right to it.

“Well, first off, let me say how much I appreciate you asking,” Victor smiled, “I know for you, for us, this is sort of standard procedure... But a lot of men wouldn't have bothered, not when it came to the sex part.”

Yuuri took his hand, holding it gently, “Is that something we should take into consideration?” he asked, looking at Victor levelly. “Have there been people who haven't asked?”

“No, nothing like that, my love” Victor smiled at him, the look in the back of Yuuri's eyes giving him pause. He felt a strange sort of satisfaction at the thought of anyone who hurt him needing to _worry_ about Yuuri coming after them. “I only meant in the 'just fall into bed and go for it' manner, not that there hadn't been consent.”

Yuuri squeezed his hand.

“What about you?” Victor asked, knowing being a 'dom' didn't exclude the possibility.

“No, I haven't had anyone not stop,” Yuuri shook his head.

Victor squeezed his hand back. “Do you want to use a condom? It does feel different without one, but, it _is_ messier too...”

“I, uh... I want to come inside you,” Yuuri said, blushing, “I think I can already tell that's something I'll want... If it's ok with you?”

“That's perfectly fine with me,” Victor grinned.

“Ok. Good. Thank you,” Yuuri said, rubbing his thumb over the back of Victor's hand. “So, foreplay, then stretching, no condom... Do you want to add anything to it? Will you need or want any certain type of aftercare?” Yuuri asked.

“Just cuddling is fine, my love. Maybe a warm washcloth to clean up a bit...” Victor added. “The thing with sex is though, it's great to have a game plan, but sometimes you do just have to go with what feels right in the moment. In a way, it's like when we started sharing our dominance and submission with each other. It's about getting to know each other's _bodies_ this time though,” Victor explained.

“We already have a start at that...” Yuuri added.

“Yes, exactly,” Victor beamed. “Honestly? My thoughts are that we should just have regular, vanilla sex the first time, maybe few times, nothing kinky or a big production,” Victor told him.

“That's good. That's kind of what I was hoping,” Yuuri admitted, “At least until I get more comfortable with it?”

“Of course, there's no rush. We'll absolutely go at whatever pace you're comfortable with,” Victor assured him.

“Ok. Thank you,” Yuuri smiled. “I mean, I _want_ you. I want to be with you like that. It's just that with anything new, I always worry that I'm going to be awful at it?” Yuuri admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Impossible,” Victor said right away, “I've yet to see a single thing that you're awful at.”

Yuuri blushed at the compliment.

“In fact, you know what they say the next closest thing to sex is?” Victor's eyes sparkled, “ _Dancing_. And there is not a grace _less_ bone in your body, my love. I have no hesitation putting myself in your hands.”

“Ok, ok. Thank you for that, Victor,” Yuuri blushed even harder, but he managed to meet Victor's gaze. “Do you _want_ me to be on top the first time though? Or would you rather show me how to take it before that? I might do better that way, actually...”

“I'm fine either way. I will confess though, that I really do want to have you inside me,” Victor answered.

“But you wouldn't mind trying both?”

“Of course not. I have before, they're both great in different ways,” Victor explained.

“Good,” Yuuri said, almost sounding relieved, “I'm kind of glad one of us knows what they're doing...”

“You'll get it. I'll coach you through it,” Victor winked.

Yuuri snorted and laughed, the last bit of tension in his shoulders draining away. “Ok, that's a good plan.”

Victor chuckled with him, in awe of how breathtaking Yuuri could suddenly be in the middle of such mundane things. “Excellent. I won't even add this to your fees,” Victor promised, grinning widely.

“Oh my god, Vitya,” Yuuri groaned, continuing to laugh.

Victor leaned in and stole a kiss, needing to get closer to this incredible man. “Here's your first lesson: sex _always_ starts with kissing.”

Yuuri's eyes were still dancing with laughter as he took a kiss himself. “Always?” he asked.

“Well, _should_ always,” Victor said, kissing him again.

“Noted,” Yuuri said, still smiling while their lips met.

“See? Such a fast learner...” Victor replied.

Yuuri kissed him again, pushing him gently back on the bed until Victor was prone underneath him.

“Mm, A+” Victor said, squeezing his ass.

Yuuri laughed again, “Oh my god, really?”

“What?”

“Are you talking about my progress or my ass?” Yuuri asked.

“Oh, definitely your ass. I'd give it an A++ if I could,” Victor grinned.

“That doesn't even make any sense,” Yuuri sighed, resting his head on Victor's shoulder.

“Of course it does. One plus for each cheek,” Victor squeezed both at once.

“Victor! I'm trying to be serious here,” Yuuri said, lifting his head again to look him in the eye.

“You can't take off your shirt if you're laughing?” Victor teased him, running his hands up underneath the back of Yuuri's.

Yuuri looked at him contemplatively.

“It doesn't have to be somber, we can smile, we can laugh,” Victor said, looking at Yuuri fondly, “I'm just so overjoyed to have found my soul mate, and to get to be with you this way. I'll probably be grinning like a loon the whole time, I hope you know that.”

“ _Victor_ ,” Yuuri said, stunned speechless for a moment. But he _got_ it, he really did. “I wouldn't have it any other way,” he finally said, cupping Victor's face.

“I love you so much, Yuuri,” Victor said, nuzzling against his palm and giving his wrist a kiss.

“I love you too,” Yuuri replied, leaning down and peppering his face with kisses, “I love you so much, more than I thought was possible. I don't think I've ever really loved anyone before, if this is what it's like.”

Victor laughed, a joyous and heartfelt sound in Yuuri's ears.

Yuuri grinned, leaning back to take off his shirt.

“Like I said, a fast learner,” Victor quipped, drinking in the sight above him.

“Hmm, maybe the student will surpass the master in this too,” Yuuri said, throwing a wink at him.

Victor just laid there for a second, total shock on his face as he realized what Yuuri had said.

“I-”

“No!” Victor interrupted, seeing Yuuri was realizing it too, “Don't you dare take it back!” He grabbed Yuuri's hips, grounding the two of them. “You _have_. There's no greater proof of that then your name next to that World Record instead of mine,” Victor said urgently. “It's _yours_. _I'm_ yours. I- I really need you to take off your pants right now,” Victor said, hoping they didn't get derailed.

Yuuri blinked at him for a moment, but then his face softened into a smile. “Yes, ok, Vitya. I can do that. But only if you take off yours too,” he said.

“Absolutely, that is the best plan,” Victor agreed.

Yuuri leaned down to give him a thorough kissing first. “I don't want to _just_ have sex with you though, Vitya, that was never the plan, and I hope you know that. I want to make love to you, and make you mine,” Yuuri told him, feeling emboldened.

“Oh, Yuuri,” Victor said breathlessly, looking up at him adoringly, “Yes, me too.”

They helped undress each other, old motions feeling new and bright on their fingertips. Victor made the _best_ sounds when Yuuri sucked on his neck, so he bent down, nipping and biting occasionally too. He kissed his way over Victor's chest, their bodies rubbing together while he teased the man's nipples.

“God,” Victor panted, “Bite me? … _Oh_ _fuck_...”

“Mm, you're so hard...” Yuuri commented, feeling Victor's length twitch between them. He bit the other nipple too, with less leading up to it, so he didn't do it quite as hard. Victor practically shouted, his hands spasming over Yuuri's back. “Oh, that's nice,” Yuuri commented, giving it a kiss afterward. Victor got turned on so easily that Yuuri was used to holding back from exploring as fully as he wanted. There was no reason not to now, though.

Trialing down to Victor's perfect washboard abs, Yuuri licked them, fulfilling a fantasy that was probably shared with an actual _percentage_ of the population. He groaned against his sub's stomach, giving it an experimental bite as well. Victor said something in Russian, but Yuuri didn't need to speak the language to know that was _definitely_ a swear word. He smiled, kissing the spot he'd bitten.

They'd touched each other's bodies while exchanging blow jobs and other types of releases, but nothing too intense. Yuuri reached down, stroking Victor a few times and listening to the noises that came out of his mouth.

“If we do too much more foreplay, I'll come before we get to the main event, Yuuri. You make me so _hot_ ,” Victor whined, hips thrusting into Yuuri's hand.

“Ok, sweetheart, no problem. I know what to do with this,” he said, squeezing gently before letting go, “Though not so much here,” he went on, sliding his hand downward to Victor's ass, asking for direction.

“Lube,” Victor said, clearing his throat, “We need lube.”

“Ok, I'll get it,” Yuuri said, giving Victor's abs one more kiss before getting up.

“Have you ever fingered yourself?” Victor asked as Yuuri opened the bedside drawer.

“No? I never did much personal exploration... Sex wasn't really ever on my radar,” Yuuri admitted, settling back down with Victor.

“That's fine, my love, I'll give you a demonstration, then,” Victor purred, spreading his legs.

Yuuri knelt between them, running his hands up the insides of his sub's legs, “Alright, I'll watch closely.”

Warming the lube at least was something Yuuri was familiar with. Victor coated his fingers in it, rubbing one gently over his rim a few times.

“I do this on occasion by myself, so I'm used to relaxing for it. It's going to take longer when you try it though,” Victor told him, pressing a finger in.

Yuuri watched with fascination as Victor gave a small sigh when it slipped inside . He gripped Victor's knees, making sure they stayed nice and wide as his sub moved that finger in and out of himself.

“God, the look on your face...” Victor said, obviously delighted by it.

Yuuri tore his gaze away from Victor's ass long enough to meet his eyes.

“Keep going,” he said, not as a request.

“Yes, oh god yes,” Victor replied, sinking it in farther. He added another a moment later, stretching and scissoring while his dom soaked it all in. Seeing Yuuri lick his lips while watching him was the most potent aphrodisiac Victor had ever experienced.

“You can put a finger in too,” he suggested, wanting to keep Yuuri involved.

“What, get some _hands on_ experience?” Yuuri teased him, opening up the lube again.

Victor giggled, just so, _so_ ridiculously happy to have this man be his. “Yes, exactly like that,” he grinned.

Yuuri shook his head, smiling.

“Go slow. When it's yourself you can feel your limits, but on other people, you have to take their cues,” Victor instructed.

“Of course, tell me if it's too much,” Yuuri agreed readily. He aligned his finger with Victor's, pressing gently against his rim.

“Oh,” Victor said, biting his lip.

Since he didn't say to stop, Yuuri kept up the slow entry, glancing between Victor's face and his fingers continually.

“Fuck, I can't wait until I have your cock in me,” Victor groaned, shooting Yuuri a look that was almost mad that it wasn't happening yet.

“Shhh, we're working on it,” Yuuri reminded him.

“Ok... Ok, yeah,” Victor said, adjusting to the stretch of all three. “I'm going to take one out, so you can put in another. If you can find my prostate with them like this, you'll have an easier time of it _later_.”

Yuuri did just that, pressing in again and again with those two until Victor's hips jerked for him.

“Ah! There!” Victor exclaimed, mouth dropping open.

“That's it then...” Yuuri commented, watching Victor's face as he hit that spot again.

“Yes, I- Ah! Yuuri!”

“Does it really feel that good?” he asked, balancing over Victor to get a better look at his expression. He pushed his fingers in a few times purposefully off-course.

“Yes, you feel incredible,” Victor said, looking at him longingly.

Yuuri hit his prostate again.

“Ah!”

And again.

“Yuuri! God!” Victor closed his eyes, rocking his hips against the intrusion of their fingers.

Glancing down, Yuuri could see Victor had reinserted his other one again, making a total of four.

“Could you come like this, if I stroked you at the same time?” Yuuri asked.

“But, I want your cock,” Victor pleaded.

“You'll get it sweetheart, I was just wondering,” Yuuri said, smiling. “Do you think you'll be ready soon?”

“I am, and I could,” Victor nodded, smiling back, “Go slow, but yes, I'm ready.”

“Keep fingering yourself while I warm up the lube,” Yuuri said, moving back to his kneeling position between Victor's legs. His sub did as instructed with his remaining fingers, watching Yuuri with rapt attention. Yuuri wasn't as much of an exhibitionist as Victor was, but he certainly liked it when it was _Victor_ watching. He slicked the lube over his length, feeling like his whole body was trembling as he lined himself up with Victor's entrance.

Victor removed his fingers, using that hand to slowly stroke himself as Yuuri began pressing forward. His dom's control was excellent, keeping a nice slow pace as requested. It twinged when he went past the point Victor was stretched to inside, but Victor relaxed into it.

“ _Oh_. Oh my _god_ ,” Yuuri groaned, his eyes screwed shut in pleasure, “ _Victor_.”

“Ah, just, stay like that...give me a minute, ok Yuuri?” Victor panted, relishing the first feel of his dom's length inside him.

“You... You tell me when you're ready,” Yuuri said, his eyes blinking open. He stared down at Victor, wonder written clearly on his face.

Victor spread his legs wider, as far as they could go without a counterpoint, wanting to feel every bit of Yuuri possible. He groaned, partly for the sensation, partly for the way Yuuri's eyes lit up. His dom pressed into him harder, heeding the body language and Victor's unspoken request.

“Do you want me to hold them for you?” Yuuri asked.

Victor _did_ , but he knew what would happen if so. “Um, not this time? I... I'll go down if you restrain me at all,” he admitted.

“Ok, that's ok. How are you doing, sweetheart?” Yuuri checked, seeing the look on Victor's face.

“I... God, I feel like I'm halfway down already,” Victor confessed, unsure how to feel about that.

“Is it too much? We don't have to do this if you're not ready, Vitya,” Yuuri said seriously, reaching down to cup his cheek.

“I want to, I want you _so_ badly,” Victor said, rocking his hips, “I just, didn't realize it would be like this?...”

“Do you usually go down? We didn't talk about it,” Yuuri realized.

“No? I never have before, not from just...”

“We can stop, let's-”

“No! Please don't,” Victor begged, reaching up for Yuuri.

His sub's face was so open, Yuuri could suddenly see exactly how close of an edge they were treading here.

“It's just, it's _you_. That's not going to change, so please, _please_...” Victor continued, his eyes beseeching.

“Because it's me...” Yuuri repeated, coming to a decision. He absolutely did not want Victor to associate sex with him with _dropping_ , which was all of a sudden a real possibility... “Oh Vitya, it's ok, sweetheart. I understand,” he said, nodding as he slid his hand down Victor's torso. “There's quite a bit of submission inherent in this, isn't there? In you taking my cock,” Yuuri said. He could do this. He knew what Victor needed when he was down, which was easy to give him in this scenario. Victor visibly slid deeper down at his words, making Yuuri smile to have gotten it so right. Victor smiled back, looking relieved and halfway to blissful.

“Are you ready?” Yuuri asked, figuring the continued rock of Victor's hips was a good indicator.

“Yes,” Victor groaned, “ _Please_.”

Yuuri moved gently at first, wanting to start slow. “Oh _fuck_. You feel _amazing_ , Vitya,” he exclaimed, looking into Victor's eyes with disbelief at the sensation.

Victor's noises were nothing like words, just an aroused moan that went straight to Yuuri's gut. Ok, he could work with that. Yuuri kept rocking in and out of him, moving a little farther with each repetition, working up to a full thrust. The heat of Victor's body, the tightness as he pressed inside, it was unreal how good it felt.

“So good, Vitya, so good,” he chanted, “You're so perfect, fuck, I'm so lucky to have you. I love you so much, Vitya, just, thank you, oh fuck, thank you so much for giving this to me...”

Victor, beyond words, clutched at Yuuri's back as his dom's pace picked up. He had no filter left, every sound and noise being torn directly from the deepest part of him. He shouted when Yuuri hit his prostate, throwing his head back and chasing the feeling.

“ _Oh_ , ok, like that, huh?” Yuuri panted, trying again. Every angle felt incredible for him, so he wanted to use the one that made Victor feel best too. It took him some time to get it just right, long enough that he could feel his own release building. Victor's nails were definitely leaving marks in his back at this point, but it wasn't enough to hold back the pleasure he felt.

“I'm close, sweetheart, I'm going to come, you feel _so good_ ,” Yuuri told him.

Victor groaned, holding on while Yuuri's hips snapped into him again and again. He could feel the muscles in his dom's body tensing up as he came. _Yes_ , Victor felt _so_ happy in that moment, knowing he'd been _that good_ for him. He held on tight, secure in the knowledge that Yuuri would always think he was good enough.

Yuuri's whole existence narrowed down to the act of emptying himself into Victor's willing body. Stars burst behind his eyelids, the pleasure so intense that he blanked out for a second.

“Holy fuck,” he said with feeling, collapsing down to his elbows over Victor. He just focused on breathing for a minute, until he noticed the little roll his sub's hips were still making underneath him. “Yeah, ok, sweetheart, your turn next.”

Victor whined as Yuuri's spent cock slipped out of him. Remembering their earlier conversation, Yuuri put his fingers back inside Victor. He moved slowly at first, reaching to stroke Victor's length with his other hand.

“Is this ok? Can you give me a color?” Yuuri asked, searching his face.

Victor was virtually incoherent as Yuuri started stroking him. He knew he'd been asked a question? Whatever Yuuri wanted, it was ok with him.

“D-Da, _da_ ,” he forced himself to say, knowing Yuuri would stop if he didn't get an answer.

“ _Oh_... Ok, that works,” Yuuri husked, watching Victor's face as he fell further and further apart underneath him. He hit the man's prostate, and Victor _shouted_. Yuuri kept at it, stroking that spot again and again.

“God, you are so gorgeous, I could watch you come apart for me for _hours_ ,” Yuuri said.

Victor came, his cock spasming in Yuuri's hand, his hole clenching down on Yuuri's fingers. Yuuri watched Victor's back arch up off the bed as his come spattered across his stomach, and he knew he would never see anything in his life that compared to this beautiful man.

Considering the change of circumstances, Yuuri forewent getting a washcloth, wiping them down with a discarded shirt instead. Victor was already disliking the delay and reaching for him as it was, so Yuuri hurried to pull him into his arms. He tucked Victor's face into his neck, his sub nuzzling in and clinging to him. Yuuri stroked Victor's back lovingly, running fingers through his hair and placing kisses on his face. Victor hummed contently, holding onto his dom and not letting an sliver of space fall between them.

It took a long time for Victor to come up all the way, but Yuuri was in no hurry for it. There was just as much trust displayed when Victor put himself in Yuuri's care after going down as during it. When Victor finally spoke later, the first words out of his mouth surprised Yuuri.

“We should hyphenate, Katsuki-Nikiforov,” Victor sighed.

Yuuri smiled, unable to argue with him like this.

“Ok, sweetheart, that sounds great.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> m(_ _)m = apologizing  
> (ノ^_^)ノ = dancing  
> (^_−)o = wink
> 
> So, funny story, as soon as Victor got Yuuri's cock in him, he refused to do anything but go down... 
> 
> List of things that have gotten away from me:   
> THIS SCENE  
> THIS CHAPTER  
> THIS FIC


	15. We are we are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to err on the extreme side of caution, I'm going to warn you here that there is a sex scene in this chapter that takes place after Yuuri has been drinking. He is not incapacitated, or anywhere near as drunk as he was at the previous banquet. I personally think it's made clear that his mental state is fine, but I know that could possibly be triggering for some people, so I wanted to spell it out.   
> That being said, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Yuuri took silver at World's that year. Yurio preened from his spot at the top of the podium, but Yuuri couldn't really begrudge him. He'd worked hard for it, after all.

At the banquet afterward, Yuuri overheard Victor asking Chris to be his best man at their wedding.

“Hm, that depends, what are your colors going to be?” Chris joked.

“I was thinking hot pink and silver, but Yuuri and I haven't actually discussed it yet,” Victor grinned.

“As long as there's no baby's breath lapels involved, you can count me in,” Chris winked.

“Baby's breath?” Yuuri asked, entering the conversation.

“It's a type of flower,” Phichit said, appearing from behind him and patting Yuuri's arm.

“You'll be my best man, right?” Yuuri asked his best friend and former roommate.

“Of course! It would be my honor. I'll take my duties very seriously,” Phichit assured him.

Yuuri beamed, “Excellent.” He turned back to Victor, “If those are the colors you want, that's fine with me. With all that out of the way, I we just need to pick a date and place then?... Oh, and I guess a cake too.”

Victor and Chris shared a look.

“Oh Yuuri, there's a lot more that goes into planning an event like that, my love,” Victor said.

“Just look around you,” Chris pointed out, “They start planning this six months ahead of time, and no one even got married at this party.”

Yuuri blinked at them.

“Oh, you _need_ to have an ice sculpture!” Phichit exclaimed, “I mean, you're marrying Victor Nikiforov, that's like, _required_.”

“We could have it be of us skating together!” Victor chimed in.

“Event?” Yuuri asked, to no one and everyone.

“The event of the year,” Chris said, tipping his glass of champagne in Yuuri's direction, as if toasting.

“Of the decade,” Phichit added.

“Please, this will be the figure skating wedding of the _century_ ,” Victor corrected.

Yuuri took a big drink from his glass.

“You should get a choir of drag queens to sing at it,” Chris suggested.

Yuuri spit out his drink.

Victor gave Chris a look like he'd never seen him before.

“Chris! You can't _meme_ at a _wedding_ ,” Phichit scolded. “ _Unless_ , the wedding's theme is memes,” he added, finger in the air authoritatively.

“Meme?” Yuuri sputtered.

“Hmm, you've heard of the internet, right Yuuri?” Chris tutted.

“I'm going to have to veto a 'meme themed' wedding, much as I'm sure it will break Yuuri's heart,” Victor said, stepping closer and handing him a napkin. Yuuri smiled up at him gratefully.

“I don't suppose that offer to elope is still on the table?” Yuuri asked half seriously, picturing them descending from the ceiling on wires while swans flew through the air or something equally ridiculous by the time everything was said and done...

Victor put his hands on Yuuri's shoulders, “Breathe, my love, breathe.”

Yuuri blinked at him.

“In,” Victor instructed, breathing in himself.

Yuuri copied him, noticing the feeling that had been developing in his chest eased a bit.

“Out,” Victor followed through, squeezing Yuuri's shoulders when he complied.

Phichit took his glass from him, leaving Yuuri's hands free to be held in Victor's.

“The only thing I care about is being yours, my love. As I said before, if you wanted to run away right this minute, I would go,” Victor said seriously.

“You mean it?” Yuuri asked.

Victor's eyes lit up, a smile playing at the edges of his mouth, “Yes, completely.”

“Oh my god,” Phichit said from beside them.

“You guys have to come with us then, as witnesses,” Yuuri declared.

Chris already had his phone out, “Hm, where is there to get married in Helsinki?...”

“We already have rings,” Victor said, his eyes _shining_ now.

“You'll probably need your passports,” Phichit pointed out, taking a picture of the two of them with his phone.

“We all might... Meet in the lobby in 20 minutes?” Victor said.

“Make it 10,” Yuuri smiled, his heart skipping a beat at the look of utter joy on Victor's face.

“Ooo, can I live blog your elopement?” Phichit asked.

Yuuri glanced at Victor, “Uh, maybe don't start posting until we've already gotten married? There are still a lot of fans around...”

Victor nodded in agreement, happy to see Yuuri taking such things into consideration.

“Deal! You can count on me!” Phichit swore, hand over his heart.

“There's a place that advertises 24 hour marriages by the airport,” Chris informed them.

 

Ten minutes later, they all shared a cab over to the chapel, grinning the entire way.

 

Twenty-five minutes later, Yuuri and Victor showed their passports to the clerk on duty. There was actually another couple in front of them, so they had to wait a little bit for their turn. Phichit took pictures of them and had them pose for so many group selfies that their cheeks were aching from smiling so much.

Oh, who was he kidding? Yuuri wouldn't have been able to _stop_ smiling if his life had depended on it.

Victor was grinning just as much and coming up with pose suggestions himself. He wondered if they had any wedding type props they could use...

The clerk finally called their names, or tried to, but neither of them even minded the butchering, they were so excited. They took their places, with Phichit and Chris standing beside them. Both their best friends looked a little misty eyed, though Phichit never stopped taking photos.

“Have you prepared any vows?” the man marrying them asked.

“Uh, not really?” Yuuri admitted sheepishly.

“I have something I'd like to say,” Victor spoke up. He stood up straight, taking Yuuri's hands in his. “This time last year, I had won a gold medal at World's. I was also crying on Chris' shoulder about how Katsuki Yuuri hadn't shown up, and life was so unfair... This year, I haven't won a single medal, but I'm the happiest I've ever been, because you're at my side,” Victor said, starting to cry as he slid the ring onto Yuuri's finger for the second, and last, time.

Yuuri reached up, brushing the bangs from Victor's face as tears poured down it openly.

“Vitya... For me... It was never about the medals. Not really. It was always you. You inspired me. I, don't know that I've ever admitted it to myself before this, but, I've spent a huge part of my life wanting to be worthy of someone like you...” Yuuri closed his eyes for a second, then opened them again, determined, “Of _you_.”

“You _are_ ,” Victor said, the look on his face urgent, “I can't imagine belonging to anyone else.”

“You're more amazing than I could have ever imagined,” Yuuri replied, starting to cry himself. He took that moment to slide Victor's ring back on his finger, before he became overwhelmed and incapable of it.

“I now pronounce you husband and husband,” the magistrate interjected, smiling.

Yuuri and Victor both looked at him like they'd forgotten he was there. Then they kissed, without needing to be prompted. Chris clapped, tearing up himself, and Phichit stopped recording so he could clap as well.

“We need to celebrate!” Victor said, wiping the moisture from his eyes as they finally broke apart. He picked Yuuri up and twirled him around in the air, both of them laughing as he set him down.

“We could go to a strip club,” Chris suggested.

Yuuri shook his head, burying his face in Victor's shoulder for a moment.

“Or we could just go back to the banquet,” Phichit pointed out.

They all exchanged glances, and grinned.

 

 

An hour and fifteen minutes after they'd left, the double doors of the banquet hall both opened at once to readmit them.

“Yakov!” Victor shouted across the room, waving at his coach, “Guess what? We got married!!!”

Chaos erupted around them.

Phichit swept into action, making everyone form a line to congratulate the grooms. Yurio pushed his way past it, scowling in Yuuri's face.

“It's about time you made an honest man out of him. Maybe now he can actually concentrate on _skating_ ,” the teen groused.

“I wouldn't put any money on that...” Chris commented under his breath, smiling all the while. He pulled a waiter aside, telling the man he would give him 100 euros if he could procure a garter belt within the next half hour. Chris only gave it that long before the grooms were either too drunk to care, or disappeared completely.

“A toast!” Georgi said, giving Victor and Yuuri each a glass of champagne, “To true love!”

With a smile, they clinked their glasses together and drank. The line moved on, but Chris and Phichit shared a look, knowing the decorum of the event wasn't going to last long.

As Georgi left, Yuuri leaned closer to Victor, whispering, “I don't think I'll actually drink that much tonight...” to him.

Victor nodded, making a mental tally of all the alcohol Yuuri had already consumed, which wasn't much. There'd only been the one flute of champagne when they first arrived, which had ended up getting mostly spit out. “Of course, my love. I'll cut you off at a dozen this time,” he joked.

“ _Victor_ ,” Yuuri pouted, too happy not to play along.

“Trust me, I want you still coherent by the time we... _leave_ ,” Victor told him, his eyes taking on a smoldering quality.

“Right, exactly,” Yuuri smiled, glad they were on the same page.

Four glasses later, Yuuri was feeling tipsy enough to accept the garter belt Chris handed him, no questions asked. He only put it on _over top_ of his pants though, thank you very much. A chair was drug over so Yuuri could sit in it, and Victor got on his knees in front of him while the crowd whistled. Yuuri reached out and brushed a thumb over Victor's lips. His sub's eyes lit up, and Yuuri nodded the barest of nods, confirming.

Victor bent down and proceeded to remove the garter belt with his teeth, much to everyone's enjoyment. Yuuri drained another glass of champagne as the man worked. Victor snuck in a kiss to Yuuri's ankle before finally pulling it off, but Yuuri didn't even care if anyone noticed at this point.

“This is going to be my new phone background,” Phichit said, snapping away.

Yuuri tossed his empty glass to a passing waiter, who barely caught it, then leaned down to give Victor a kiss.

“Throw it for the crowd!” Chris shouted above the cat-calling.

“You throw it, you did all the work to get it off,” Yuuri told his husband.

“Alright, if you insist,” Victor agreed with a smile, helping him stand.

The crowd of people hoping to marry one day gathered together, with Michelle Crispino trying to keep his sister back, but failing. Emil came up with an arm around each of their shoulders, dragging them both forward to Michelle's surprise. Pretty much every skater there was part of the group, except that Canadian guy, who had already married his fiance after the Grand Prix Final.

Victor walked a respectable distance away and turned around, giving his adorable heart shaped smile as he tossed the garter belt behind him.

“He's so beautiful,” Yuuri sighed to Chris, who was on the fringe of the crowd and one of the first to shrug and walk away from the struggle. Victor was watching the remaining contenders with glee, taking photos with his phone.

“Oh? And what would you say is the most beautiful thing about your husband?” Chris asked, fishing for things to tease them about later.

“I have to choose just one?” Yuuri complained, pouting.

“Well, it's highly unorthodox, but I suppose you _could_ make a list,” Chris said conspiratorially, seeing Yuuri was past tipsy and getting into drunk territory. Maybe not take off your clothes pole dancing _smashed_ , but definitely loose-lipped.

“Number one would be his eyes, they're so _pretty_ , Chris,” Yuuri said in a wistful tone, “And his _hair_. How can anyone be _literally_ that beautiful?”

“I'm sure I don't know... Winning the genetic lottery, perhaps,” Chris answered.

“Look at him,” Yuuri gestured, “Look at that ass. _How_?!?? He even _tastes_ beautiful,” Yuuri went on.

Chris grinned, having finally hit pay dirt. It was a shame Victor was headed their way now.

“Plus, on top of everything, he goes down like _that_ when he's tied up,” Yuuri informed him, snapping his fingers.

“That is enough champagne for you, darling,” Victor said, blushing as he pulled the glass out of Yuuri's hands.

“ _Oh my_ ,” Chris said scandalously, his eyes filled with laughter.

Victor said something to him in French, which Yuuri imagined was either a cutting remark or a flirtatious one, who even knew with the two of them. He frowned, unable to follow along, and found his attention wandering.

After the scuffle for the garter died down, Phichit had emerged victorious, waving it around like a flag and posting selfies with it. Yuuri just now noticed, immediately going over to a table and downing another entire glass of champagne then and there.

“Aren't you supposed to be taking it easy?” Victor commented, suddenly at his side again.

“I'm going to need it,” Yuuri muttered, watching Phichit giggle and pose with the garter belt and what looked to be _potential suitors_. Most of the younger skaters, as well as a waiter who was neglecting his duties, were gathered to flirt with the cute Thai boy. Squaring his shoulders, Yuuri headed over to them, leaving Victor behind looking confused.

An ISU judge and a representative from Nike saw their chance though, and cornered the returning skater. Victor kept looking over at Yuuri as if to check on him, but he couldn't just walk away from such important people...

Seeing Yuuri's approach, Phichit waved brightly.

Chris, who was quickly learning that there was _no way_ to know what to expect from Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov, pulled out his phone and started recording.

“Phichit!” Yuuri called, matching his friend's enthusiasm. He slung an arm over Phichit's shoulders as soon as he was close enough. “How's my best friend tonight?” Yuuri asked, grinning.

“Oh my god, I'm great! This is the best banquet ever! Everyone agrees,” he told him.

“You weren't at last year's, so this one is definitely better,” Leo said smoothly to Phichit. The waiter glared at him, completely unsubtly.

Well, Yuuri wasn't in a subtle mood, and he did want to get back to his husband soon, so he took the opening.

“You know, if you're trying to woo him, you should, you know, _do it_ ,” Yuuri interrupted, drawing all their attention to him. Phichit's eyes went sparkly in admiration. “When a man wants a mate, he should show it, _sell_ himself, like in the animal kingdom,” Yuuri explained, pointing his finger at them, “What makes you think any of you are worthy of him? Hm? If you want to date my best friend, you've got to _prove_ it. _Preen_ for him, catch him dinner, you've got to, I don't know, build him a nest or something. _Impress_ him, you mediocre fucks.”

There was a beat of silence, then Phichit threw his arms around Yuuri, engulfing him in a hug, “That was so sweet!”

Yuuri accepted the hug, throwing a look at the rest of those watching that said none of them were good enough.

Out of the crowd, Seung-gil Lee stepped forward, locking eyes with Yuuri.

“Let these boys be intimidated, I'll meet your challenge like a man,” he stated plainly.

Phichit stopped hugging Yuuri for a second to give Seung-gil a coy smile.

“Hey, I'm not afraid either!” Leo said, determined, stepping up as well.

“There's only one fair way to settle who's worthy to woo him,” Yuuri said, glad to see there were some of them with spines.

“A dance battle!” Phichit exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air, “This is going to be just like college!”

...

“And it's only 9:30...” Chris commented, just loud enough for his phone to pick up on the recording. He _supposed_ Victor should be made aware of this... _development_... He stopped filming and headed over to rescue him from the ISU's clutches.

“Victor,” Chris called out as he approached the table, “Your, ah, _husband_ ,” he said, wanting to use a different word, but remaining tactful in front of their particular audience, “Is about to start accepting all challengers for Phichit's hand... You might want to go check on that.”

Victor gave them all a flawless smile, thanking Chris as he passed, and headed directly to the dance floor.

“ _Yuuri_ ,” he sing-songed as he approached, “What are you doing, my love?”

“Defending Phichit's honor?” Yuuri said, like it was a question.

Phichit giggled beside him, “I think your husband may be ready to call it a night.”

“That he is,” Victor agreed.

“But... The dance off?” Yuuri looked to Phichit, concerned.

“I know! They can dance off against each other instead, and I'll judge the winner!” Phichit decided.

Yuuri evaluated his statement for a moment, then turned to scan the crowd.

“Oi, Yurio!” he shouted, waving at the teen.

With a roll of his eyes, Yurio came over. “What do you want?” he huffed.

“Watch them,” Yuuri said, pointing to Seung-gil and Leo, “Phichit's too soft hearted sometimes, and I don't trust them.”

“Yeah? What's in it for me?” Yurio asked, hunkering down anyway.

“I'll buy you leopard print laces for your skates,” Yuuri bargained.

“Deal!” Yurio grinned.

Seeing the details were taken care of, Phichit finally shooed Yuuri into Victor's arms. “Take care of him,” he instructed seriously.

Victor nodded, “I will.”

“I'm not _that_ drunk, you guys,” Yuuri pouted.

“You were about to dance to Shakira, Yuuri,” Phichit reminded him.

“Hey, 'Ojos Asi' is a _classic_ ,” Yuuri frowned.

“Do you speak Spanish, Yuuri?” Victor asked, sounding intrigued.

“No?” Yuuri answered, sounding confused as to why he would be asked that.

“Maybe your husband would like a _private_ dance,” Phichit winked.

“Oh. Would you? Like a _private_ one?” Yuuri asked Victor, his smile turning sultry.

Victor reached for Yuuri's hand, bringing his ring up to his lips, “Very much so.”

“Gross,” Yurio yelled, “Get the hell out of here already!”

So they went.

 

 

“You're my _husband_ ,” Yuuri said happily as he pinned Victor against the wall of the elevator.

“Yes, and you're mine,” Victor agreed breathily, equally happy with the night's developments.

Yuuri put a hand at the back of Victor's neck, kissing him hard.

Victor groaned in response, melting under Yuuri's touch.

“What do you want, sweetheart?” Yuuri whispered. Even though they were alone in the elevator, he wasn't sure if the cameras could pick up sound or not.

“Fuck,” Victor said, his heart rate picking up significantly, “I want that dance you promised me. And... When you're aggressive like this... Anything you do right now, I'm going to love,” Victor admitted.

“Mmm, aggressive? I can work with that,” Yuuri said with a smirk. He wrapped his fingers around Victor's tie just as they reached their floor. With a tug, he lead him out as the doors opened. A couple guests had been waiting to get on at this stop though, throwing things off momentarily. Usually, a person would make way for those exiting first, but Yuuri couldn't fault the way they froze in apparent shock.

“Move,” he said evenly, “ _Please_.” He wasn't trying to be rude, but he knew time was of the essence here.

The guests stepped aside, blinking as Yuuri pulled Victor along behind him.

“Thank you!” Victor gave a small wave to them as they passed.

Yuuri tugged on him again, picking up their pace to the room. As soon as they were inside, Yuuri pushed Victor up against the door, pressing his face against the man's shoulder.

“Are you trying to get hotel management called on us?” he sighed, peering up into Victor's face at the end. He wasn't drunk enough to not realize the implications of _getting caught_.

“Hmm, maybe,” Victor purred.

Yuuri snorted, resting his face on Victor's shoulder again.

“I can't dance for you if we get kicked out for public indecency,” Yuuri pointed out.

“My love, you pole danced at the last banquet,” Victor argued, wrapping his arms around Yuuri, “And not only did you not get kicked out, but they let you _come back_.”

“That was a different hotel.”

“ _You_ , are missing the point.”

“I'm not drunk enough for that point,” Yuuri said, blushing.

Victor smiled, giving Yuuri's forehead a kiss, “That's fine. Good, even. I definitely want you to remember tonight.”

Yuuri pulled back enough to see his eyes, “I will. Forever, Vitya.”

Victor beamed at him, so in love, so overjoyed.

Yuuri kissed him, passionate and forceful, picking the tone back up from the elevator. Shivering in anticipation, Victor let his mouth be claimed, giving himself over to Yuuri's care. When Yuuri broke the kiss, that light that made Victor's knees weak was back in his eyes.

“Take off your suit jacket,” Yuuri told him, pulling out his phone. He set it on the edge of the desk that had come with their room, queuing up a playlist to serve his purposes. Glad to realize the accompanying chair didn't have any armrests, he positioned it in the middle of the floor.

It hadn't taken Victor long to shrug off his jacket. When he saw what Yuuri was doing though, he forgot about hanging it up, letting it fall to the ground.

As soon as he was ready, Yuuri turned back to Victor, grabbing a fistful of the front of his shirt. This was going to be too rough for just a tie. Yuuri dragged him over to the chair, pushing Victor down to sit in it. He kept a hold of him through the motion, putting enough force on his chest to tip the chair on its back legs just slightly as he sat.

“Holy fuck,” Victor exclaimed, arousal zinging through him as the chair leveled out again. Yuuri straddled him immediately, angling Victor's chin up so their faces were only a breath away.

“That's the idea,” he said seductively, caressing his sub's throat.

Victor's whole body shuddered, the wooden chair creaking under their combined weight.

Yuuri winked at him, keeping Victor's head held back while he bent down to place a kiss on the center of his throat.

A whine escaped his sub, making Yuuri smile. He trailed his hands over Victor's neck as he pulled away, “Don't take your eyes off me, Vitya.”

Dazed, Victor watched from the chair as Yuuri rolled his hips in time with the music. Yuuri threw his husband a few winks and even a kiss over his shoulder as he danced, touching himself like it was Victor's hands he was imagining. Eros had nothing on this, there being some things you just couldn't do properly with skates on.

Yuuri moved closer to the chair, basically just gyrating to show off his ass at this point. Victor looked absolutely _mesmerized_ , so Yuuri figured it was working. He moved right up into Victor's space, straddling him backwards this time. With a roll of his hips, he pressed against his husband's lap. Victor's hands came around him, gripping the insides of his splayed thighs as Yuuri rocked back.

“ _Yuuri_ ,” Victor moaned, his own hips rolling as much as they could underneath him.

Yuuri put his hands over Victor's, then put his back into it, undulating like he was was working his way down the pole.

“Oh... _Oh, fuck_... _Yuuri_ ,” Victor panted.

“Do you want to, sweetheart? Fuck me?” Yuuri asked, voice low and rhythm flawless.

“ _God yes_ ,” Victor groaned.

Yuuri dragged Victor's hands upward, over his crotch, past his stomach, bringing them up to his collar, “Undress me.”

Victor's fingers made short work of his tie and the buttons of his shirt. Yuuri had mercy on him and undid his own cuffs while Victor was working on that. As soon as the dress shirt came away, Yuuri stood and turned around, pulling his undershirt off smoothly. “Take off your tie,” he ordered his sub while he undid his own belt. The belt and the tie both hit the floor at virtually the same time.

Stepping forward again, Yuuri used his foot to shove Victor's legs apart. His husband's eyes were wide as Yuuri placed a knee on the small section of seat revealed, right up against his crotch. The chair gave another little creak, but Yuuri knew they were almost done with it. He took hold of Victor's shirt just so, maintaining eye contact as he ripped every button off it in one forceful motion.

The noise Victor made could only be described as startled and immensely turned on.

“I... I think I'm having a heart attack,” Victor said, leaning his head forward to rest against Yuuri's stomach.

“You're only 28, Vitya,” Yuuri grinned, running a hand through his hair.

“I'm going to die from arousal, you're too sexy,” he whined.

“Don't die on me just yet, we haven't even made it to the bed,” Yuuri teased him.

“Ok,” Victor said, taking a deep breath, “Ok, I can do this.”

“Do what?” Yuuri chuckled.

“ _Not_ come in my pants before we get there,” Victor informed him.

“I think the odds are good, since we're moving there now,” Yuuri grinned again.

“Oh, thank God.”

As soon as Victor was out of the chair, Yuuri gave it a push with his foot back toward the desk, getting it out of the walk way. He sauntered over to Victor and proceeded to remove every last stitch of his clothing. As he finally pulled off his own pants, he ordered Victor to get the lube from their luggage.

“You're going to finger me, then fuck me,” Yuuri explained, loving the look on Victor's face when he said that. He drew him in closer, just standing there and kissing Victor passionately for a moment. “If you feel like you're starting to go down even though you're topping, you tell me, and we'll reevaluate,” Yuuri said.

Victor nodded.

“It's absolutely fine if it becomes too much for you at any point, I'm serious,” Yuuri assured him.

“I think I'll be ok?” Victor said, “Even if I'm down... If you just ordered me to keep going, to give you pleasure, I think that would be fine. As long as you still hold me after.”

“Alright, I'll keep that in mind,” Yuuri smiled, putting his arms around Victor's neck and kissing him again.

They got positioned on the bed, with Victor taking his time to get Yuuri nice and worked up ahead of time. He followed every order to a “T”, licking, stroking, biting love marks into his dom's skin that would last for days... When Victor was finally ready to get his fingers inside him, Yuuri leaned up to whisper in his ear.

“I practiced a couple times, with my own,” he informed him, drumming is fingers lightly where they rested on Victor's arm.

Victor kissed him, endlessly surprised by this incredible man.

“We should still take it slow,” Victor suggested.

Yuuri nodded, eyes intense, “I just wanted you to know.”

Victor rubbed his lubed finger over Yuuri's entrance, causing him to draw in a quick breath.

“That _is_ good to know,” he smiled, picturing it. He continued to rub over Yuuri, pressing a little more at a time, until Yuuri got used to the sensation. “Are you ready for the first one, my love?” Victor asked, waiting for a signal.

“Yes, go ahead,” Yuuri said, watching as Victor pressed _in_. Part of his reasoning in having tried it before was that Yuuri didn't want to disappoint Victor 'in the moment' if he didn't end up liking it... But he had liked it. A lot.

“You can move,” Yuuri told him, urging Victor to continue.

When they made their way up to two fingers, after the burn faded, Yuuri started rocking his hips with the motions of Victor's hand. His husband's eyes lit at up seeing it. Victor stroked over his prostate experimentally, making Yuuri moan, one hand spasming in the sheets, the other clutching Victor's arm.

“Did you try this out on your own as well?” Victor asked, flicking over it again with a smile.

Yuuri groaned, “Yes, yes,” giving Victor a look that seared right through him.

Each time they added another finger, Victor paused to give Yuuri time to adjust. He also made sure his husband was aware that fingers only reached so far, and that there could be a significant adjustment period when the time came for the real thing...

“Victor, look at me,” Yuuri told him, “I want this. I know, it's just a position, and if it doesn't work out, it's ok. But I do want to be with you like this, so I'm going to do my best, alright?”

“That would have been a lot more romantic if my fingers weren't already buried in your ass,” Victor pointed out.

“There's nothing more romantic than me giving myself to you on our wedding night,” Yuuri countered, reaching up to cup Victor's face.

His sub gave him a smile that made Yuuri's heart _ache_ in the best way...

“Alright, my love. Do you think you're ready, then? With four fingers, you're not going to get much more stretched than this,” Victor asked.

“I'm ready,” Yuuri assured him, stroking his thumb over Victor's cheekbone. As Victor positioned himself, kneeling between Yuuri's legs, Yuuri smiled, “I do like seeing you on your knees for me, sweetheart.”

Victor smiled back, something flickering across his face as he did. “You know, when we're doing this, you can use our colors too...” he suggested.

“Ok, that's a good idea, Vitya. 'Yellow' would be stop moving then, and 'red' if I need you to pull out entirely,” Yuuri replied.

“Thank you, Yuuri. I, feel a lot better knowing it'll be that clear?” Victor told him, something like relief on his face. “I just want this to be a good experience for you.”

“Everything with you is a good experience,” Yuuri smiled, pushing himself up on his elbows to steal a kiss. “I'm ready whenever you are,” he said as he laid back down, rubbing his legs suggestively against Victor's.

Victor nodded, watching Yuuri's face carefully as he began to press inside. He stopped after just a little ways, seeing the obvious discomfort on his dom's features.

“Are you ok?” Victor asked.

Yuuri nodded, smoothing his hands up Victor's back, “Keep going, it's alright. I want this, Vitya.”

“Ok,” Victor obeyed, pushing in further.

Yuuri's face scrunched up, but he made sure to say, “Green, it's ok, that's exactly what I want, sweetheart.”

Victor kept going, able to tell the exact moment when it _did_ become to much, so he stopped before Yuuri needed to say anything.

“Thank you,” Yuuri said sheepishly, adjusting.

“It's no problem, my love. Just try to relax,” Victor soothed.

...

“Ok, I think you can keep going,” Yuuri told him.

“Are you sure?”

“Victor, I've had way worse than this falling on the ice, and that wasn't even...there was no expectation that it would get better or feel good?” Yuuri tried to explain, rocking his hips just the slightest bit to see what would happen. He could feel the twinge still, but it wasn't horrible.

“God, you really want it that much?” Victor asked, giving him a fond look.

“Yes? Can't you just, put the rest in and get it over with?” Yuuri complained.

“That is not a good idea, my love,” Victor insisted, moving forward another little ways.

Yuuri kept taking it a little at a time, until finally, _finally_ , all of Victor was sheathed inside of him. He groaned loudly, cheeks flushing just from the realization.

“ _Oh_...” Victor said, looking down on him. He rocked his hips against Yuuri's gently, testing out his reactions. Yuuri reached up with both hands, fingers spreading over Victor's throat, neck and jaw.

“Fuck me, Vitya.”

Victor slid back, not enough to actually come out, and then pushed in with one smooth thrust.

Yuuri's jaw dropped and his eyes went wide, a surprised noise coming out of him. Victor paused, giving him a moment to process.

“Don't _stop_ ,” Yuuri admonished, looking at Victor like he was crazy. He moved his hands to Victor's back, urging him closer, to keep going.

Victor glided out and into him again, watching with fascination as Yuuri's face did amazing things in response.

“You like it that much?...” Victor smiled.

“Again,” Yuuri commanded, instead of answering.

Victor chuckled, obeying right away. He picked up an easy rhythm that left Yuuri's mouth hanging open.

“Oh _god_ , that's so good, Vitya, you're so good,” Yuuri praised, looking slightly overwhelmed.

“Love you so much,” Victor told him.

“Love you too, love you, oh god, Vitya,” Yuuri panted, letting his head fall back against the sheets.

“It's, been a long time since I've done this, Yuuri... I... This isn't going to last long,” Victor warned him, increasing the pace of his thrusts.

“Ok... _Oh_! Vitya! I... Ok, I'm going to...” Yuuri reached down and started stroking his own length, quickly matching the pace Victor was setting inside him.

“Oh my god, you are _so_ gorgeous, my love,” Victor moaned, driving into him harder.

Yuuri exclaimed, loudly, on each thrust, filling the air around them with sound of pure sex. How the hell had Victor gotten this lucky? What the actual fuck had he _ever_ done to deserve getting to have Katsuki Yuuri?

Yuuri shouted when he finally came, his hips stuttering and free hand gripping the back of Victor's neck tightly.

As close as he was, Victor couldn't take the squeezing sensation, either around his dick or on his neck. He continued to pump in and out of his husband, until he came as well a few thrusts later.

They lay in a tangled heap for a minute, both just trying to catch their breath.

“It's Katsuki- _Nikiforov_ now,” Yuuri said, eyes still closed, but grinning.

“I said that out loud?!”

Yuuri laughed.

 

 

The next morning when they were getting ready to leave the hotel, Yuuri set his suitcase on the chair once it was packed. Immediately, the entire chair collapsed into a pile of abused wood on the floor. Both of them stared at it in shock for a moment, before Yuuri covered his eyes.

“Oh my god, we're _that_ couple.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you look closely, you can see the exact moment when Katsuki Yuuri realized he loved cock. <3  
> Anyone who thinks male doms can't/don't/shouldn't like being penetrated can fight me (◕‿◕✿)


	16. We are forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite all the 'near misses', this was always how it was going to go down :P 
> 
> This is technically the last 'chapter', and the following one will be the Epilogue.

Even though Yuuri lived in Russia now with Victor, he still had certain things he had to go back to Japan for as Japan's top skater. The press release to announce athlete's themes for the upcoming season was one of them. It didn't feel like he'd gotten any break at all this year, between the craziness of World's, eloping with Victor, and moving to St. Petersburg.

As soon as they'd arrived, they'd had to juggle unpacking with creating new routines with teaching Yuuri as much Russian as possible... Even though they were mostly unpacked at this point, they had to learn those routines now, and the Russian thing would probably be ongoing, for the rest of Yuuri's life. Which was fine. _Fine_ in a way that made Yuuri smile to remember, every time.

He was still getting used to his new signature, which was _fine_ too. He'd accidentally purchased his plane tickets to Tokyo under his old name on autopilot though, which was causing a bit of a headache... But he still had a few days to get that straightened out the rest of the way. Victor wasn't worried, he said they'd just buy another set if they needed to. Yuuri was going to do everything possible to keep it from getting to that point though.

His phone pinged, so Yuuri picked it up to check it, even though Victor was almost done with breakfast. He hoped it was an email from the airline, confirming his request to alter the reservation. Instead it was a notification from a google alert. He'd had one set for years for Victor's name, but there had been so many of them lately with his return to skating that Yuuri almost dismissed it. He happened to notice though that the highlight was actually their married, hyphenated name, which not many people bothered with, rudely enough.

Figuring he had a minute to skim it, Yuuri tapped through to the article. He started reading about some foreign diplomat who had been disgraced, and frowned. What? What did this have to do with figure skating? Yuuri kept skimming. Apparently said diplomat was cheating on his wife, huge scandal, she paid some sketchy hacker group to dig up dirt on him for their divorce, blah blah blah... Yuuri jumped farther down, just looking for Victor's name, frowning at his phone.

He finally found it, surprisingly with his own right next to it (he didn't have an alert set for that though), and started actually reading again.

 

“ _Though this has certainly been an example of how 'cheaters never prosper', it's unfortunate that people who aren't involved in the scandal have had their privacy violated. Mrs. Jones claims it was never her intent for the group she hired to release the names of all the users of bdsmlifestyle.com, and that they acted on their own in that capacity._ ”

 

“Fuck,” Yuuri swore with feeling. He quickly went back to the top of the article, intending to actually read through the entire thing this time.

“What's wrong, Yuuri?” Victor asked, looking over his shoulder from the stove. Before Yuuri could begin to formulate a response, Victor's phone started ringing.

“Don't answer that!” Yuuri said urgently.

Victor blinked at him, looking down at his screen, “It's just Chris?”

Yuuri's phone started ringing in his hand with a call from Phichit, because _of course_ he would have an alert set for Yuuri's name...

“Oh my god,” Yuuri groaned, shaking his head and sending the call to voice mail. He had a feeling Phichit wouldn't actually hold it against him, considering the circumstances.

“Yuuri, my love, what's going on?” Victor asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“An article just came out,” Yuuri explained, feeling almost resigned to his fate at this point, “About bdsmlifestyle getting hacked. Or well, it's mostly being spun around some cheating diplomat who was using it, but I guess the group that did it has released _every_ user's name... Including ours?” Yuuri winced at the end, another call coming through to his phone. He didn't recognize the number, so like hell was he going to answer it. Maybe he should just turn it off for a while...

Victor's phone started ringing again, so he walked back to the counter to shut it off too, seeing Yuuri power his down. In all honesty, anyone watching Yuuri's career for the past year and seeing the two of them... _interact_...probably wasn't going to be too surprised by the revelation. Victor wasn't too concerned with people knowing at this point in his life, now that he had Yuuri.

Although, if there were more than just identities released, like, old chat logs, for instance, that could get... _awkward_...and fast... Victor was of course going to sue the hell out of them either way, but it wasn't _necessarily_ the end of the world...

“I, um,” Victor stumbled uncharacteristically over his words for a moment, “Haven't used it as much lately... But I used to be quite active in the past. Did? I mean, does it say if it was just people's names, or, was it more than that?”

Yuuri and Victor both powered their phones back on.

After doing a few searches, Yuuri couldn't find anything that referenced it being more than just a list of user names and their real identities. There was only one way to be sure though, and that was to find the people who did it.

“I need to boot up my laptop,” Yuuri said, grimacing.

“What are you going to do?” Victor asked.

“Well, the only way to find out for sure how much information they have is to find them,” Yuuri explained.

“Find them? The ones who hacked it? You can do that?” Victor questioned.

“Uh, I'm pretty... _Good_ , with computers,” Yuuri informed him. “There are a couple other-” Yuuri stopped mid sentence, suddenly realizing that this meant Marcos, and _everyone_ _else_ there would know _he_ was the 'gay skating dom' now.

“Other what?” Victor asked.

“I, sorry, I just realized everyone I've talked to on there knows who I really am now,” Yuuri said, taking a deep breath, “I was always really private about it? No one even knew my first name, nothing.”

“I was the same way,” Victor volunteered, giving Yuuri a weak smile, “I never met with anyone, either. It was just too much of a risk.”

Yuuri got up and went to Victor, pulling him into a hug, knowing _exactly_ the kind of risk he was talking about.

“If you do find them though, don't do anything back to them... _yet_ ,” Victor said, face still buried in Yuuri's shoulder, “We don't want to give them grounds for a counter suit.”

Yuuri chuckled, hugging him tighter for a moment before letting go. “Maybe we should eat first? It could take a while and breakfast is getting cold...”

“A semblance of normalcy _is_ helpful in times like these,” Victor sighed, letting go too.

They sat back down to the table, a much more somber affair now.

“Sweetsilversub,” Victor said, grabbing the bull by the horns, so to speak.

“What?” Yuuri looked up at him, confused.

“Sweet silver sub, that was my user name on the site,” Victor clarified, giving Yuuri a tired smile.

Yuuri's face went blank for a second, staring into space.

“No,” he said, blinking back to reality.

Victor raised an eyebrow. “No?...”

“You can't be sweet silver sub,” Yuuri said disbelievingly, frowning at him now.

“Why is that? Was I rude to you in the past?... If so, I apologize. I've probably talked to literally _thousands_ of people there over the years, and not always when I'm at my best, I'll admit. I hope you can understand that?...” Victor added, suddenly nervous seeing the look on Yuuri's face.

“No, I mean it's _not possible_ ,” Yuuri said in disbelief.

“I assure you it _is_ possible,” Victor started, suddenly wondering just how deep of a hole he was in here.

“No. You _can't be_. He had his boyfriend long before we'd even m-” Yuuri stopped mid-word, enlightenment slowly dawning over his face. “That fucking banquet.”

He leaned forward, holding his head in his hands for a second, staring at the table top. Then he started laughing.

“Yuuri?” Victor said cautiously.

Yuuri looked up at him, and it was like Victor could _see_ puzzle pieces slotting together behind his eyes.

“Victor!” Yuuri said, sounding slightly scandalized, “You were telling people we were together after that?!”

Victor got a deer in the headlights look, his thoughts freezing up. “Um, that was kind of a misunderstanding?” he said defensively.

“You changed your status to 'In a Relationship',” Yuuri countered, an amused half-smile on his face.

Victor's eyes widened, knowing there were lots of people he'd talked to or would have claimed to 'know' him if asked, but few who would have _actually_ known him well enough to remember all that at the drop of a hat. Instead of answering, Victor got up, very deliberately and slowly kneeling at Yuuri's feet.

“Yuuri...” he started, his voice not as steady as he would have liked. He peered up at his dom's face, willing himself not to freak out. “Who are you?” he finally made himself ask, resting his hand on Yuuri's ankle.

Yuuri looked down at his sub, his husband, Victor Katsuki-Nikiforov, kneeling in front of him...and suddenly it hit him like a freight train, that on top of all that, this, this was _3s_ as well.

“Oh my god,” Yuuri said, _shaken_ at how completely and utterly impossible this was. He took Victor's face in his hands, staring at him in amazement, realizing how long they'd known each other. Oh my god, _how long they'd known each other_.

“Yuuri, _please_ ,” Victor said, his voice wavering.

“Oh,” Yuuri realized he hadn't answered Victor's question yet. Victor was kneeling in front of him, so trusting and submitting, waiting on the edge of the same revelation Yuuri had just had. Whatever else, Yuuri would always know that it was his _real_ self that Victor was kneeling for, that his sub had fallen in love with...

“I'm-” Yuuri choked up a bit, emotion suddenly filling his throat, “I'm cherry blossom dom,” he said, staring into Victor's eyes and refusing to look away. He got to see every blink as his sub's eyes widened, see each muscle relaxing as his jaw dropped.

“No,” Victor said, his disbelief as great or _greater_ than Yuuri's had been a moment ago.

Yuuri gave him a 'what can you do' smile, waiting for it to sink in.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Victor said, continuing to stare at him.

Yuuri nodded in agreement, realizing that as 3s, Victor was literally the person he considered his oldest friend on the internet. Then his mind jumped to their more recent conversations, the ones they'd had over the last year...

“You really were going to quit your job...” Yuuri said, brushing his fingers through Victor's bangs.

Victor closed his eyes for a moment, tilting his head towards Yuuri's hand. Yuuri indulged him immediately, cupping his cheek instead.

“Your first Grand Prix Final, that was why you disappeared for so long... Oh, Yuuri,” Victor said at a whisper, opening his eyes.

Yuuri gave him a regretful smile, but he wasn't too upset about it anymore, considering all the things it had lead to... “Did you really buy a convertible?” he asked suddenly, conversations flitting through his mind.

Victor blushed, giving Yuuri all the answer he needed. Yuuri grinned at him, then suddenly remembered _the convertible_.

“Oh my god, we had a joint funeral,” Yuuri said, shocked.

“We _did_...” Victor groaned, “Oh my god, they'll never believe we didn't know.”

“Holy shit,” Yuuri said suddenly, “Victor, we're _married_.”

Victor looked up at him, dumbfounded, “Oh my god.”

“Oh my god,” Yuuri affirmed, “How did we get _married_?” he said, the implication of 'without knowing' not needing to be said.

“I... I don't know?... I mean, I guess I assumed you probably had been involved in the community at some level, but I didn't really care about who you might have talked to in the past, because you were here with me now?” Victor offered.

Yuuri smiled at him as he took in Victor's words, love written plainly across his face, “Yeah. ... I, I'll be honest, I never even thought about it? We were always so busy and I just, I relished any time we could steal for ourselves... You were _there_ , _with me_ then, so the past was irrelevant? You know I've never cared about any of the people you were with before me... And really, who ever expects to meet random people from the internet in real life?” Yuuri said, still in a bit of shock.

“Excuse you,” Victor quipped gently. “I am not some _random_ person,” he said, picking up more of a teasing tone as he went along, “I am a goddamn _pillar_ of the community. Apparently.”

Yuuri laughed at the reference to his eulogy. “Yeah, you are,” he agreed, stroking a thumb over Victor's cheek. “You were the first person I ever talked to on that site,” he brought up, reminiscing.

Victor's face slowly shifted to seriousness. “I remember that... Oh, Yuuri...” he said, reaching up to cup his dom's face in return.

Yuuri met his gaze levelly, assuring him it was alright, he was just fine. His sub removed his hand after a moment, resting it on Yuuri's knee instead. But the topic sparked a different, more recent memory in Yuuri's head at the same time. Nate and his stupid comments... Victor had heard about them. God, Yuuri had been _right there_ in the same chat while he found out someone they had considered a friend had spoken about him that way... Yuuri's eyes flashed, his jaw setting with determination.

Victor wondered if it was possible to be so connected to another person that you developed spontaneous telepathy, because he could read _every single one_ of his dom's thoughts as they flowed behind his eyes.

Yuuri moved his hand from Victor's cheek down to his jaw, so that his fingers partially covered his sub's neck. The other he put on Victor's shoulder, holding him firmly.

“Tell me what he said to you,” he ordered, brooking no argument over something like this.

Victor's eyes widened.

“In the past, that made you wonder,” Yuuri added, waiting.

“Oh, I lied? Yuuri, there was nothing like that,” Victor said quickly, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest at seeing his dom in such a protective mode. “I just said that to cover my interest in where he was from, so it didn't seem out of the blue for me to be asking?” he explained.

Yuuri studied his face intently, as if he was hesitant to believe him. But he trusted Victor to be honest with him, and there would be no reason for him not to be. It was more like this was just so important to Yuuri that he couldn't let it go lightly.

“Well, he knows the truth of what he did now too... Hopefully he's too embarrassed to ever show his face again,” Yuuri commented.

“He did kind of end up getting doxed anyway, if you think about it,” Victor said, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“Yeah, I'll say,” Yuuri snorted.

Victor smiled back, shifting on his knees a bit.

“Oh, we're still in the kitchen, aren't we?” Yuuri realized. “Let's get you off this hard floor, sweetheart,” he said, taking Victor's hand. As he pulled him up, the relevance of the nickname suddenly washed over him. They both just stood there for a second while Yuuri stared. He reached up, gently running a hand through Victor's hair.

“Ok, that seems _really_ obvious now, in hindsight...”

Victor realized what he was implying and smiled widely. “See? I told you I can be sweet,” he said, giving Yuuri a fake pout.

“The sweetest,” Yuuri nodded, confirming.

Victor grinned, leaning in for a kiss. It was soft and sweet, reminiscent of their very first in a way. When Victor pulled back, Yuuri was blushing profusely, far more than appropriate for a simple kiss.

“Are you alright, my love?” Victor asked.

“I was just thinking, about you being sweet...and how you said _he_ didn't know how beautiful he was...” Yuuri admitted, his face in flames.

“He still doesn't... But I'm trying to teach him,” Victor said in all seriousness.

Yuuri hugged him, burying his face in Victor's shoulder.

Victor held him tightly.

For a few minutes they just stayed like that, in each other's arms, safe from the world. Finally Yuuri spoke again, turning so his forehead pressed against Victor's neck.

“You really are obsessed with my thighs, aren't you?”

“ _Absolutely_ , my love. I've never denied it,” Victor confirmed, almost gleefully.

Yuuri laughed, not that he hadn't known it already, loosening his hold enough to see Victor's face.

“You know, I think we should probably take the day off? There's no way I'm going to be able to keep my mind on my routine right now... And you'll probably just be staring at my ass the whole time instead of practicing...” Yuuri said.

Victor gave him that fake pout again, “I'm perfectly capable of multitasking, my love. At this point I've made staring at your ass _while_ practicing into an art form.”

“I can't believe that there was ever a moment I _didn't_ believe you were 3s...” Yuuri changed his mind.

Smiling happily, Victor took Yuuri's hand and rubbed his thumb over his dom's wrist. They both just looked at each other, everything still sinking in. Victor's smile took on an edge of awe to it as Yuuri watched.

“Cbd...” Victor said, like he was testing out the letters, seeing how they sounded in his mouth, felt on his tongue.

It made something very close to his heart jump in Yuuri's chest to hear it.

“ _3s_...” he said back, knowing neither of them were really asking a question, more like affirming a truth.

And then they were kissing, lips and teeth and tongues all in the way as they each tried to get as close as humanly possible to the other. Yuuri's hands were in Victor's hair, and Victor's hands were grabbing Yuuri's ass. Taking a handful at the back of Victor's head, Yuuri pulled them apart enough to say one word.

“Bedroom.”

Victor, eyes bright with excitement, did have the presence of mind to ask, “Should we call Yakov?...”

Yuuri didn't answer him, didn't even look back, he just grabbed the front of Victor's shirt and started pulling him along behind him.

“Oh wow!” Victor exclaimed happily, every responsible thought instantly falling out of his brain.

Yuuri kicked the door shut behind them and pushed Victor down on the bed.

“I want you to ride me,” he said, giving Victor an intense look.

“Fuck yes,” Victor agreed, pulling off his shirt.

“Can I tie your hands for it?”

“ _Please_.”

…

Twenty minutes later, Victor had his hands bound behind his back while he sank down onto Yuuri's cock. Yuuri was propped up against a few pillows near the headboard, so he could easily reach his sub's torso. He ran his hand over Victor's abs, tweaked a nipple occasionally, slid his thumb up to brush along the column of his sub's throat.

Victor was amazing at following orders when he was down, which they had discovered to both their delight.

“Mm, so good,” Yuuri said, watching Victor work. “Roll your hips a little more for me, sweetheart,” he instructed, “Perfect, perfect, just like that...”

Victor's eyes were closed, but Yuuri let him stay that way, get lost in the pleasure of his body's sensations completely. As long as he kept responding to commands, Yuuri had no problem with it.

“Ease up,” Yuuri ordered, “Can you slide off and turn around?”

“...Green,” Victor complied, slowing his pace and then drawing himself up off his dom. He opened his eyes briefly to turn around, carefully repositioning himself. His knees were spread wide, hips angled right over Yuuri's erection. With his hands bound though, he couldn't help himself get lined up, he had to rely on his dom.

Yuuri rubbed a soothing circle over Victor's hip, guiding him back onto his length with one hand. They were both getting close.

“Ride me,” Yuuri said, voice firm.

Victor moved up and down his shaft, the desire to obey, and just plain _desire_ , chasing each other through his limbs.

“Faster,” Yuuri said, his own breath coming in pants that belied how far gone he was. “Faster, I want to hear your dick slapping against your stomach, Vitya, fucking ride me,” Yuuri commanded.

Victor groaned, doubling his pace, loud cries falling out of his lips almost continually. Underneath it though, Yuuri could hear exactly what he'd asked for.

“ _Oh_ , you are _spectacular_ , Vitya, _so_ fucking good. You're going to make me come _so hard_ ,” Yuuri praised, running his hands over Victor's body. As soon as he felt his orgasm coming, he put his hand on the back of Victor's neck.

“Stop. Hold yourself down on me,” Yuuri ordered, which Victor did immediately.

“Now squeeze me.”

Victor did, his channel tightening around Yuuri's cock blissfully as he came.

“Holy _fuck_ ,” Yuuri said, squeezing the back of Victor's neck in appreciation.

Victor whined, rocking his hips over Yuuri's, though he didn't pull up.

As soon as the rush passed, Yuuri sat up some, reaching around to Victor's nipples. He knew his dick was already beginning to soften inside his sub, but Yuuri had a feeling he was on edge enough for this to work. He pinched both nipples at once, teasing just up to the line of 'too much', and jerked his hips upward, jolting Victor inside.

“Come for me,” he commanded in Victor's ear.

Victor fell apart, shouting loudly as he came all over their sheets, untouched.

Yuuri waited until he was done, then let himself slide out of his sub's body. Victor collapsed, sitting on Yuuri's legs as his torso tried to fall forward. Yuuri held him up for a moment with a hand on his chest, so he could untie his arms. Then he guided Victor down and to the side, laying him blissed-out onto the bed so Yuuri could spoon with him.

Yuuri made sure to stay in close contact, petting and stroking him lovingly even while he reached for supplies and cleaned him up. He massaged Victor's muscles, warming some disposable wipes in his hands before using them on his precious sub. Once he was done taking care of his immediate needs, Yuuri moved around to face Victor, so that when he opened his eyes, his dom would be the first thing he saw.

Even after Victor came up, the two of them lay there for a long time, touching each other's faces in wonder and smiling goofily.

“Oh,” Victor finally said, breaking the comfortable silence, “Phichit was your roommate that helped with 247's stalker?”

“Yes, but he doesn't, _didn't_ know how we knew each other. Why?” Yuuri asked.

“Suddenly I'm taking his shovel talk a lot more seriously....”

 

 

 

 

 

Three days later, after several long discussions with Victor, Yuuri went ahead and got on a plane to Japan for the already scheduled press conference. What it ultimately boiled down to for him was that Yuuri refused to be ashamed of the bond he shared with his husband. He didn't plan on answering any questions, just announcing his theme and leaving it at that.

If there were more reporters than normal at the event, it didn't really phase him, he'd figured there would be.

When his turn came up and his name was called, Yuuri stepped up to the microphone, leaving it in its stand this time. He turned his card around and placed it on the provided display, speaking clearly and firmly.

“The theme of my program for this season...is dominance.”

Then Yuuri winked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Closing thoughts: Victor is the only person who can actually say 'Wow' as a prelude to a sex scene and not have it be ridiculous.   
> He probably took out an insurance policy on Yuuri's thighs at some point.   
> I like to think he and Yuuri EXACTLY TIED for gold at the following GPF, because why not.   
> The chapter titles have been brought to you courtesy of “Light me up” by Ingrid Michaelson, which set a great tone for writing this fic.  
> Thanks for coming along for the ride, folks <3  
> Epilogue to follow.


	17. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not the 10k requested, but it is the longest chapter of them all?...

-Phichit Chulanont

 

Even though his best friend didn't believe it, he was _totally_ worthy of having a google alert set for his name. Especially since Yuuri didn't appear in online media very often. So when he did, Phichit had to make doubly sure he was going to be aware of those articles.

“Yuuri!” he said gleefully on the man's voice mail, “I always knew you had it in you! I'm so proud. My baby is part of a _meme_. I'm tearing up. I'm _living_. Call me back once you're done freaking out and we'll make plans to destroy your enemies!”

 

 

-Christophe Giacometti

 

“I hope you aren't expecting this to surprise anyone, _mon'Ami_ ,” Chris said in a chuckle on Victor's voice mail, “Because the only thing less surprising than this would be you making a public statement that you are ridiculously in love with your husband. Or if someone 'leaked' that you were gay. Let me know if we're still on for this weekend, you beautiful disaster.”

 

 

-Yakov Feltsman

 

Yakov needed an assistant. Someone he could assign to “Victor duty”. Aside from his lawyers, that is. Actually, calling the lawyers was probably a good idea...

“Alright! Everyone, I need to make some calls. Lilia is in charge while I'm gone!” he yelled out over the ice.

“Wouldn't that imply that she _isn't_ while he's here?...” Georgi wondered aloud.

Yurio snorted and laughed.

“Hmmm, I wonder what Victor's done now...” Mila commented, making them all laugh.

 

 

-Yuri Plisetsky

 

“ _Jesus fuck_ , shut the hell up right now! I don't want to hear that shit!”

 

 

-Katsuki Toshiya & Hiroko

 

Hiroko looked to her husband, who appeared to be deep in thought, waiting for his decision.

“I've got it!” he said, “We can convert the extra banquet hall the boys stayed in to a demonstration area!”

Hiroko smiled, turning back to the phone.

“Of course we would be happy to accept your group's booking. Please let us know if you require any special accommodations aside from a stage area.”

 

 

-Townspeople of Hasetsu

 

“Isn't that the couple who used to come in here on their dates, all-”

“Baka!” the waitress slammed her hand down on the table, “We don't speak of _the noodle incident_ , remember?” she hissed, looking askance over at the owner of the restaurant.

The customer's eyes widened, not having realized they were across the room.

“If I have to look at that photo album he compiled again, it's going to cut into my tips this shift!”

“And our service levels...” the customer muttered.

“Whatever, just keep it down!”

 

 

-Okukawa Minako

 

“Those idiots used their _real names_ to register for a site like that?” she face-palmed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Tiedup247: (◎_◎;)_

_Tiedup247: (×_×;_ _）_

_Tiedup247: (;-_-)_ _ノ_

_Tiedup247: *whispers softly_

_Tiedup247: wtf_

_Tiedup247: (*_ _ﾟﾛﾟ_ _)_

_90degreedom: darling_

_Tiedup247: (_ _ノ_ _Д`)_ _・゜・。_

_Tiedup247: WE'RE NOT DONE YET_

_Tiedup247:_ (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

_90degreedom:_ _┬──┬_ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

_Scatter-shot: let them be mad_

_Scatter-shot: we all got fucking trolled by those 2 assholes_

_Tiedup247: YOU TAKE THAT BACK_

_sub-squent92: ???_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: 247 & Marcos are the two people they interacted with most, anf if they don't think we were being trolled then they're probably right_

_90degreedom: thank you_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: *and_

_Tideuptieddown: but srsly wtf_

_sub-squent92: I guess I can see why Scatter-shot would think we were being trolled, but it's so out of chartacer for both of them?_

_Asdfghjkl: agreed_

_Asdfghjkl: I mean, still, wtf_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: I have to reserve final judgment until we get to talk to them_

_Scatter-shot: but you do realize that if they weren't trolling, that means we're supposed to believe THEY DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW THEMSELVES_

_Scatter-shot: THE WHOLE TIME???_

_90degreedom: not to be insulting_

_90degreedom: but_

_90degreedom: cbd was/is one of the most oblivious people when it came to other's advances that I've EVER met._

_Scatter-shot: but to THAT degree???????_

_90degreedom: one word_

_90degreedom: lusciouslex_

_Tiedup247: ok but srsly think about how much he always defended his real identity here_

_Tiedup247: way greater lengths than most people do_

_Tiedup247: which makes sense now seeing as he's big shot athelete but moving on_

_Tiedup247: flip it around_

_Tiedup247: even those of us here who are 'looser' w/our irl identities_

_Tiedup247: how many are as open w/the real world about being into the lifestyle as we are w/the lifestyle about our real world lives?_

_Tiedup247: so how much MORE would cbd have kept *this side of himself from irl people?_

_Asdfghjkl: that's a really good point_

_Scatter-shot: idk_

_Scatter-shot: whatever_

_Tideuptieddown: do you REALLY think they would troll, or are you just upset that we all “look” like we got played?_

_Tideuptieddown: because seriously, anyone who knows them would never believe they'd do something like that_

_sub-squent92: and something I just thought of_

_sub-squent92: they wouldhave had to have planned it out and stayed in character for YEARS_

_sub-squent92: WHY??_

_sub-squent92: WHAT'S THE POINT???_

_Asdfghjkl: that's a good point too_

_Scatter-shot: but they're in the same fucking sport_

_Scatter-shot: they could have met YEARS ago and maybe 3s figured it out even if cbd didn't_

_Scatter-shot: and then asked to meet him/revealed his own identity_

_Scatter-shot: and planned this big epic “one” to pull over on everyone_

_Scatter-shot: because you have to admit 3s could be fucking ridiculous sometimes_

_Tiedup247: not like that though :(_

_Asdfghjkl: his was a different kind of drama_

_90degreedom: I PERSONALLY TOLD him once that he should think about making a move on cbd_

_90degreedom: because they were really well matched kink wise_

_90degreedom: he refused_

_90degreedom: because it would have meant MEETING him_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: holy fuck_

_90degreedom: I know_

_90degreedom: we've ALL had our suspicions over the years that 3s might be 'famous'_

_Tiedup247: that was the first time we questioned it too_

_Scatter-shot: yeh but literally refusing to ever meet anyone EVER is pretty extreme_

_Scatter-shot: how do we know he didn't bend his rule?_

_Tiedup247: Nate_

_Tiedup247: NATE_

_Tiedup247: have you forgotten so quickly?????????_

_Scatter-shot: that was after the fact???_

_90degreedom: 2004 nikiforov rushed by fan w/scissors who tried to cut off a piece of his hair_

_90degreedom: nikiforov dismisses attacker as troubled, Feltsman presses charges anyway_

_90degreedom: 2006 fan arrested for sending sexually harassing letters to a minor_

_90degreedom: Feltsman pressed charges again since nikiforov was still underage at the time_

_90degreedom: 2009 nikiforov pressed charges against one night stand that attempted to steal one of his medals_

_90degreedom: 2013 competitor ejected from Skate USA for making sexually threatening remarks to nikiforov in locker room_

_90degreedom: 2 other coaches, not even Feltsman, heard it and took action_

_Tiedup247: 2013 = year of the great hair debate, hmmmmmmmmmm_

_Tiedup247: purely coincidence we're sure_

_90degreedom: 2013 also 3 fans arrested for breaking into his hotel room while he was at GPF banquet_

_90degreedom: and then nate is our own living, breathing example of people being obsessive over him_

_90degreedom: but no, refusing to meet anyone from this site is 'extreme', you're right_

_Scatter-shot: omg, source?_

_Tiedup247: that's all on his WIKIPEDIA PAGE_

_90degreedom: paraphrased, of course_

_Tiedup247: and we remember hearing about the '04 hair thing in the news back then_

_Scatter-shot: holy shit_

_90degreedom: yeah_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: holy shit indeed_

_Scatter-shot: no wonder cbd went the fuck after nate right away..._

_90degreedom: ^^_

_Tiedup247: exactly_

_Tiedup247:_ (ง︡’-‘︠)ง

_Asdfghjkl: and no wodner he ghosted that convo_

_Asdfghjkl: lololololololol_

_Tiedup247: besides if anyone has a right to be upset w/them it's US_

_Tiedup247: we TOLD cbd to invite us to the wedding_

_Tiedup247: and he did not_

_Tiedup247: (_ _ノ_ _Д`)_ _・゜・。_

_90degreedom: they eloped darling_

_90degreedom: everyone's followed Phichit Chulanont's EVERYTHING, right?_

_Tiedup247: our hero_

_Tiedup247:_ _（人_ _´∀`*_ _）_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: the entire community's hero_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: bless that man_

_Tiedup247: no we mean our literal HERO_

_90degreedom: one of, yes ^^_

_Scatter-shot: ???_

_Tiedup247: look at his older instagram posts_

_Tiedup247: he was cbd's roommate ♥ ♥ ♥_

_90degreedom: that butt selfie is spectacular too, just as a side-note_

_Tiedup247: lol_

_sub-squent92: omg_

_90degreedom: we owe that man a lot_

_sub-squent92: which one?_

_Tiedup247: both_

_Tiedup247: all three, shit_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: you guys should see tumblr right now_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: the bdsm tag is melting down in realt ime_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: *real time_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: so are katsuki's and nikiforov's_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: ♥_

_90degreedom: I imagine so_

_90degreedom: w/all the footage Chulanont's provided_

_sub-squent92: BLESS THAT MAN_

_Asdfghjkl: when I die_

_Asdfghjkl: instead of my life flashing before my eyes_

_Asdfghjkl: it will be that footage of 3s removing the garter belt w/his fucking teeth just on repeat over and over_

_sub-squent92: amen_

_Tiedup247: hallelujah_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: we should all be so lucky_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: he (Chulanont) referenced this being 'par for the course' at ISU banquets with Yuuri_

_4outof5melonlordsagree: but no one's found any record of any previous wild shenanigans..._

_Tiedup247: ???_

_sub-squent92: if he was the room mate he must *know something_

_90degreedom: he probably knows a lot that isn't general knowledge ^^_

 

Marcos was going to put a nail in the coffin of the “We were trolled” debate once and for all by bringing up Nikiforov's impromptu wedding vows from Chulanont's live stream of the elopement, but when he hit enter, the screen erred out. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he hit refresh, only to be faced with a generic notice that the site was down until further notice.

He leaned away from the screen, holding his hands back from the keyboard in disbelief.

“Shit.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Shit,” Victor said, frowning at his phone, “They've shut down the site.”

“Completely?” Yuuri asked.

“Yes, even the homepage is gone. _Everything_. I don't suppose you had a way to contact anyone outside of it?...” Victor asked, hesitantly hopeful.

Yuuri sighed, hanging his head for a moment.

“There was one way... But it was supposed to be more of a 'contingency plan' thing, for a very different scenario?...”

“But do you think it would still work?”

“Oh, I'm pretty sure it would...”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sun was high overhead as a Spanish man in _to die for_ heels sat down outside a touristy cafe. There were quite a few of them along this road, with the Eiffel Tower being visible in the background. He might have to wait a while until he was found.

No matter. He ordered a light lunch in flawless French, letting his waitress know that he might occupy the table for a length of time, but he'd make sure to tip well. It was only a half hour later though, that he noticed a Japanese man coming his direction down the sidewalk. The man's hair was slicked back, his gait graceful, and his suit expensive enough to stand out even on the streets of Paris.

Marcos went back to scrolling through his phone.

…

“You know, if I didn't know what you looked like from the funeral, this would have taken a lot longer,” Yuuri said, smiling behind his sunglasses.

Marcos looked up at him, his face expressionless, and blinked slowly.

Yuuri raised an eyebrow.

Marcos didn't budge, continuing to wait.

“Are you really going to make me say it?” Yuuri asked, tilting his head to the side.

Leaning back, Marcos crossed his arms over his chest, giving Yuuri a look that clearly said 'get on with it'.

Sighing, Yuuri took off his sunglasses, tucking them in the breast pocket of his suit.

“Time, is an illusion,” he offered, pausing in just the right place.

Marcos smiled at him.

“But these cheekbones aren't, honey.”

They both grinned, and Marcos stood up, immediately giving Yuuri a hug.

“I can't believe you made me say it... It's not like we don't know what each other look like anymore,” Yuuri groused good naturedly.

“ _I'm_ not the one who started this by initiating a blind drop,” Marcos pointed out as they both sat down at the table.

“I didn't have any other way to contact you after they shut the site down!” Yuuri reminded him.

“Let's not speak of The Tragedy on this day... By the way,” Marcos said, gesturing at Yuuri's outfit, “This is supposed to be subtle?”

“Me? You're wearing six inch heels!” Yuuri argued, laughing the entire time.

“This _is_ subtle, for me,” Marcos informed him, batting his eyelashes, “What's your excuse?”

“My husband dressed me.”

…

“Fair enough.”

 

The waitress came by, asking if Yuuri would be ordering anything, but he declined.

“Do you think they'll arrive soon?” Marcos asked, checking the time on his phone.

“No idea. I just know if I eat anything right now, I'll probably be sick,” Yuuri admitted.

“Nervous?”

“A little. But just the regular kind,” Yuuri assured him.

“It's going to be ok. It's not like he's going to change his mind. You're already _married_ ,” Marcos said.

Yuuri had to admit he had a point.

“Well, well, well, speak of the devil...” Marcos said, looking off down the street. He tossed a handful of bills onto the table in preparation.

Yuuri looked over his shoulder just as an ice blue Maserati GranCabrio pulled up beside the cafe. Bertrand struck a playful pose from the passenger seat of the convertible, leaning toward them.

“You boys need a ride?”

“Hmm, that depends, where are you headed?” Yuuri asked, grinning.

Victor leaned back in the driver's seat, so he could see his husband around Bertrand. Looking at him over the top of his sunglasses, he said, “Wherever you are, baby,” throwing him a wink.

“Convenient,” Marcos commented, standing up.

Yuuri couldn't help it, he laughed, getting up to follow.

Bertrand jumped out of the car before they reached it.

“Cbd!” he said, pulling Yuuri into a hug on the middle of the sidewalk.

“Oh my god, it's amazing to finally meet you,” Yuuri hugged him back.

A throat cleared to the side of them, and Bertrand released him right away, going over to Marcos.

“Marcos!” he cried in the exact same tone, hugging his dom.

“ _Yuuri_ ,” Victor called to him from the car, crooking a finger. Yuuri slid into the passenger's seat, leaning over to give Victor a quick kiss.

“I take it they didn't have pink at the rental agency,” he said as they broke apart, gesturing to the car.

“Don't be silly, Yuuri, a pink _car_ would have clashed with my suit,” Victor pointed out.

“Oh, my apologies,” Yuuri grinned, kissing him again.

“Oh my god, you guys are _fucking adorable_ ,” Bertrand exclaimed.

“Thanks,” Yuuri said, turning his smile to them instead.

Since the four seat car for some reason only had three doors, Yuuri got back out so Bertrand and Marcos could access the back seats. He held each of their hands as they navigated climbing in, then gave a quick glance back to the table to make sure nothing had been forgotten. As Yuuri climbed in himself, Marcos winked at Victor.

“My, my such a gentleman you have, 3s.”

Victor smiled at his friend through the rear view mirror, “Only in the streets.”

“ _Victor!_ ”

 

 

 

“It's so awesome Yuuri lets you drive,” Bertrand sighed to Victor.

“You don't have your license, darling,” Marcos interjected, “If you did you could drive anywhere you wanted.”

“But I like it when _you_ drive me,” Bertrand pouted.

 

 

 

“By the way,” Marcos said from his seat behind Yuuri, “Please give my personal thanks to Phichit, for his help in avenging The Tragedy.”

“I definitely will,” Yuuri assured him.

 

 

 

When they finally arrived back at Yuuri and Victor's hotel, Victor handed over the keys to the valet and ushered them all inside.

“Let me guess, the penthouse suite?” Marcos chuckled as they got in the elevator.

“Ah, you know me too well,” Victor smiled, pressing the button for the top floor.

Nice was not the word to describe their suite. Fancy didn't even come close. The only word that could possibly do it justice was _opulent_.

“You really are a rich bastard, aren't you?” Marcos said, counting the crystal chandeliers.

“ _We_ are,” Victor corrected, taking everyone's jackets.

Yuuri snorted, “Vitya, you wouldn't even let me _see_ the receipt for this room.”

Victor hung the last of their jackets, shooting him a look over his shoulder.

“A man only gets collared once, Yuuri, and I don't intend to have it be in some cut rate hotel like our wedding night was.”

“That was the official ISU hotel for the competition,” Yuuri countered, “It had _four_ stars.”

“The quality of the furnishings left something to be desired,” Victor retorted, sending Yuuri a knowing look.

“...Ok, I'll give you that one.”

 

 

 

They waited until the sun was setting over the Paris skyline to start. Yuuri opened the double doors that lead to the balcony, letting in a warm summer breeze. The cushion for Victor was already in place, so he stood and waited next to it. Marcos was a respectable distance away, watching and waiting as well.

When the door to the bedroom opened, Bertrand was the first one out, giving them a small nod before walking briskly over to Marcos. Yuuri made sure his posture was straight, taking in a deep breath. Victor appeared next, standing in the doorway like he was the rightful center of attention. He was wearing a simple white dress that hit mid thigh, showing off his legs nicely. Ballet slippers, laced all the way up to his knees, adorned his feet. It was the closest semblance of bondage that he could get away with in his husband's presence without going down. And they both wanted to be perfectly clear minded for this.

Victor glided to his dom, so graceful it felt like it would hurt to look away. He was _that_ stunning. Yuuri stood proud, a sense of confidence and power running through him when Victor knelt at his feet. It was heady, the total trust and belief that Victor had in him, staring up with such devotion.

“As your dominant, I promise to take care of your needs, Vitya, both physical and emotional,” Yuuri told him, cupping his jaw. “I promise to listen to you, and to respect you, your thoughts, and your opinions. To me, dominance isn't about tying someone up or ordering them around. Dominance is what answers back when a submissive calls out for safety, security, and love. It can't exist without the trust of submissiveness. We're two sides of the same coin, Vitya, together worth more than the sum of our parts. I'm less, without you,” Yuuri stated simply in the end.

“As your submissive, I promise to take care of your needs, Yuuri, both physical and emotional,” Victor recited, voice firm. “I promise to listen to you, and to respect you, your thoughts, and your opinions. To me, submissiveness isn't blind obedience or a lessening of myself. It's the soothing balm of a trust reciprocated. My submissiveness is a demonstration of love that I've waited so long to be able to give. You're my first and only dominant, because I could never bring myself to risk submitting to a stranger. When I got to know you, and fell in love... Suddenly, it wasn't so scary to take a chance. I trust you, and I'm amplified for it. I'm more, when I'm with you,” Victor summed up.

They smiled at each other, tender and loving.

Marcos and Bertrand were both tearing up in the background.

Yuuri turned to the side table, pulling out the collar he'd designed for Victor. It was a soft, muted pink, padded for comfort, with a gold buckle and gold rivets running around the top and bottom. In silver lettering, the words “Sweet” and “Sub” were separated by a solid-filled heart between them, a play on all his nicknames.

Victor teared up when he saw it, “ _Oh, Yuuri_... It's _perfect_ , my love.”

“Will you accept my collar, Victor Katsuki-Nikiforov?” Yuuri said softly.

“ _Yes_ ,” Victor said, his voice choking up, it was so full of emotion.

Yuuri smiled, undoing the buckle with sure and steady fingers.

Victor raised his head upward, gaze full of wonder and reverence as Yuuri laid claim to him. The collar wrapped around his neck, an explicit mark of pride and ownership. Victor's eyes fluttered closed automatically at the sensation.

“Stay with me, sweetheart,” Yuuri said, urging him to open his eyes.

Victor opened them, tilting his head into Yuuri's palm, “Always, my love.”

 

Marcos snapped a picture of them like that, thankful his mascara was waterproof.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_90degreedom: it IS the dawning of a new era_

_90degreedom: normalizing bdsm too_

_Tiedup247: we're just glad no one took OUR user name_

_SuaveDancingHusband: so rude :(_

_Non-Taurus: idk_

_Non-Taurus: imitation IS the highest form of flattery ;)_

_90degreedom: i've seen at LEAST 5 versions of 3s' old user name on this new site_

_Non-Taurus: only 5?_

_Non-Taurus: (_ _ノ_ _Д`)_ _・゜・。_

_Tiedup247: lol_

_Tiedup247: he's only talking straight up copycatting_

_Tiedup247: if you count people who got more abstract_

_Tiedup247: it would be dozens_

_90degreedom: if you count the words 'cherry' & 'blossom' too_

_90degreedom: not just 'sweet' & 'silver'_

_90degreedom: it's probably hundreds ^^_

_Non-Taurus: that's more like it! <3_

_SuaveDancingHusband: omg_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Yuuri waited by the barrier to give the first performance of his new Free Skate, he flashed back to when Victor was initially helping him choreograph the routine.

“You've got the best triple axel in the industry right now... What would you think about improving on your _strengths_ , this year?” Victor asked, a mischievous look in his eyes.

“I'm listening,” Yuuri said, coaxing him out as he obviously wished to be.

Victor proceeded to put pen to paper, drawing up a routine with a technical aspect even _higher_ than the current World Record...

“A quad axel?” Yuuri said in disbelief.

“A quad axel,” Victor affirmed, “ _You_ can do it, Yuuri.”

Yuuri stared at the page for a moment, willing to give it a try, but hesitating over a different issue. “What about your routine?” he asked, looking Victor in the eye seriously.

Victor sighed, looking out over the ice. “I'm going to give it my best, Yuuri, don't think that I won't,” he turned back to him, eyes flashing briefly. “ _But_... This routine...” he gestured toward the notebook, “This routine is beyond me.”

Yuuri started to immediately contradict him, but Victor held up a hand for silence.

“You think I haven't tried for the quad axel before?” he asked, looking at Yuuri levelly. “I have. Not as a passing fancy either. I _tried_. And eventually I stopped trying, because I was afraid I was going to do myself permanent injury,” he confessed. “Not that my quad flip isn't amazing,” he added, giving Yuuri a wink.

Yuuri smiled back, the two of them reaching out to hold hands while they thought it all over.

“You think I can win gold at the Final with this routine?” Yuuri asked, letting Victor know he wouldn't question his motives anymore.

“My love, if you're able to land it, you can win gold at the _Olympics_ with this,” Victor said excitedly.

…

Yuuri pulled his thoughts back to the present as Seung-gil left the ice. They nodded to each other respectfully as they passed. Victor squeezed Yuuri's hand, pulling him into a hug.

“I know I'm not your coach anymore, but you can still do your best for your husband, right, Yuuri?” Victor said in his ear.

Yuuri squeezed him back just as tightly, nodding against his chest. As they pulled apart, they exchanged kisses to each other's rings in what had quickly become a tradition for them. When Yuuri finally took to the ice, he was glad they'd changed his theme from “confidence” to “dominance”. He wasn't here to prove himself anymore, he'd already done that. He was at the top now, defending.

Looking over to his husband, who was watching on with rapt attention, Yuuri smiled, knowing he was really doing this for him. Not the judges, not even the fans, not really. Yuuri struck his opening pose, not worrying about making history, only about making his husband proud.

 

The added record was certainly a bonus though, afterward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Victor knelt on the slightly raised platform of the stage in nothing but his underwear, already blindfolded. He had a cushion to rest on, because it would take Yuuri a little while to get all the knots tied. Voices flowed around him, recognizable as friends old and new. There was also the quiet clinking of wooden chopsticks against ceramic bowls, and cups being picked up and set down. The general buzz of it faded to the background as more rope was secured around Victor's torso.

Yuuri made his way outward from there, binding Victor's arms to his sides and his legs together. By the time the full body harness was complete, most people had finished with the dinner portion of the evening. Now the entertainment truly began.

After doing a careful double checking of his work and his sub's circulation, Yuuri hooked Victor up to the lift. It was a four point system, designed to prevent too much swaying. He kept going up until his sub was about a meter and a half off the ground, for ease of accessibility.

Victor gave a small gasp as he left the floor. His weight was distributed fairly evenly, so he had no trouble drawing in a full breath. He tested it out a few times as instructed though, following Yuuri's voice in his ear. The background chatter had died down quite a bit, as he was the full focus of attention now.

“How are you doing so far, sweetheart?”

“Good. Green,” Victor said. He wouldn't go down as fast or as far with other people in the room, but that was fine with Yuuri. It meant his sub could enjoy being the centerpiece all that much more.

A tickling sensation trailed up Victor's arm, then over his shoulder and down his back. It was a lot more intense with the blindfold on, his other senses taking greater focus since he couldn't see. He didn't try to hold anything in, huffing out a few laughs when they rose up in his chest. There was a tickle along his calf, which wasn't as sensitive, but then it continued in a line down his heel and over the arch of his foot. Victor's whole body squirmed, a shout of laughter being ripped from his lungs at the same time.

“Color, Vitya,” Yuuri prompted.

“Green,” Victor said right away, his voice still on the edge of laughter.

The tickling touch ran up the front of his leg, over a hip, and swirled around his navel, causing Victor to laugh outright now. The barest hint of the sensation brushed against his nipple, making Victor emit a brief squeal. He could feel himself blushing over that, but at the same time he was happy to give Yuuri the reaction he was obviously going for.

Taking a brief step back, Yuuri picked up a bottle of warmed baby oil, holding it at the ready in one hand and the feather in the other. He tested it on his wrist to make sure it was an ok temperature for his sub. This was just about all the heat play Victor could handle, he hadn't liked wax at all. Yuuri teased over his sub's back with the feather again, and then followed the same line with drips of the oil.

Victor shouted in shock when the unexpected heat spattered over his skin.

Yuuri gave him a few seconds to process, then dripped some more baby oil over his shoulders, no tickling prelude beforehand. The reaction wasn't as extreme, but Victor still vocalized quite nicely. Yuuri ran the feather over Victor's body one more time, then drizzled a thick line of oil down the back of his leg, so it was guaranteed to run over the sides of it. His sub's toes curled, and even though he didn't _shout_ , his breathing became more labored in general after the initial exclamation.

“Are you ok, sweetheart?” Yuuri asked, voice sounding satisfied.

“Yes... Green...” Victor told him, taking in a breath between each word.

“Excellent. You're reacting so well for me, Vitya. No one can take their eyes off you,” Yuuri reminded the man of their audience. A little shiver went up Victor's spine, possibly having forgotten about them in the midst of things. Yuuri wasn't sure if it was visible to the crowd, but he appreciated it, either way.

Moving on, Yuuri picked up a cube of ice, pressing it between Victor's shoulder blades and quickly swiping it down his spine, mimicking his previous shiver.

“Oh!” Victor arched against his restraints.

Knowing his sub could take a great deal more with cold, Yuuri left the cube to sit on the small of his back. He drizzled the heated baby oil liberally over the tips of his own fingers, then dragged them down Victor's chest.

Victor cried out in surprise, the ice sliding off him when his body jerked. Yuuri picked up a fresh cube, pressing it directly over Victor's nipple and counting to ten.

“ _Ah!_ _Ah!_ ” his sub shouted, jaw dropping as he writhed against the ropes.

Before Yuuri reached ten in his head, Victor shouted his name.

“ _Yuuri!_ ”

Immediately Yuuri removed the ice, taking a brief hold of the hair at the back of his sub's head.

“Good boy,” he whispered to him.

Victor whined, sinking down a little, just past the edge and into sub space.

Yuuri felt an extra level of clarity settle over him at seeing it, like all his senses were heightened, his will absolute.

“Beautiful,” he told his sub appreciatively, letting the whole room hear it. Wiping the oil off his hands, Yuuri pulled a soft fleece glove onto one of them. The other he used to hold a new piece of ice. He ran a cold line over Victor's body nearly continuously, snaking and twisting around as if dancing a routine on his flesh.

The gloved hand he kept mostly at the back of Victor's neck, rubbing his skin gently with soft finger tips. He had his collar on of course, and Yuuri knew in his current state that the stimuli would start to blur, making the padding of it seem to merge into one sensation with his hand. There was a line though, to _over_ doing it, and Yuuri didn't want to cross that.

His gloved fingers trailed away from his sub's neck, down his spine to the small of his back. Yuuri let the ice cube go and swatted Victor's ass, not enough to be considered a smack, just enough to keep him from sinking down any further.

Victor _did_ shout, of course, but it was obviously in surprise, not pain.

“Color, Vitya?” Yuuri said, almost smugly, knowing how fine a line they were dancing along.

“Fuck,” Victor said breathily, “Green.”

Yuuri grabbed his ass with the hand that had swatted, then smoothed the soft, gloved one back up his spine a last time. Removing the glove, he picked the bottle of warmed oil back up, leaning down to Victor's ear.

“Do _not_ come,” he said strictly, more to put the idea in Victor's head than because Yuuri thought he actually might.

Instead of drips and drabs, he drizzled the oil over Victor's ass.

Victor groaned.

Yuuri knew exactly _who_ he was imagining coming.

Almost done now, Yuuri took one last ice cube with him down to Victor's feet. He rubbed it circularly around his sub's ankle in warning, causing Victor to pant loudly. Yuuri ran the ice over the bottom of Victor's foot, causing his whole body to jerk. Then he lightly swatted the sole of that same foot just as Victor's jerking movement ended.

“Fuck,” Victor shouted.

That wasn't what Yuuri was going for though, so he continued, watching his sub carefully. Yuuri iced the arch of the other foot, then the toes of the first, then swatted gently at his ankle all in rapid succession. Victor cried out each time, his body swaying slightly in the harness.

“Yuuri!” he finally shouted, his toes curling and flexing, unable to escape the sensation.

_That_ was exactly what Yuuri wanted to hear. Smiling, he let go of the ice and took a hold of each foot simultaneously, giving them a firm squeeze to ground his sub again. Victor was still breathing hard, but his body lost it's desperate edge right away.

“You did spectacularly, Vitya, I'm so proud of you,” Yuuri said as he came around to Victor's head again. He placed a hand on the back of his neck, just laying it there. Standing tall, Yuuri gestured to the crowd of their friends that the performance was over. Applause burst into the air, and when Yuuri looked down to his sub, he could see a goofy smile on Victor's face.

“I'm going to let you down now, Vitya, ok?”

“Ok... Green,” Victor said.

By prearranged agreement, Marcos actually lowered him while Yuuri petted Victor, so he didn't have to leave his sub's side.

“Here comes the floor, sweetheart,” Yuuri warned him, turning Victor's head and placing his hand between it and the hard surface.

Victor nodded against his palm, his body contacting a moment later. Yuuri left the blindfold on him while he quickly but carefully cut Victor out of the ropes. With the oil, and the crowd, it would take too long to try and untie those knots. His sub needed to be cuddled pretty much immediately after an intense scene, based on their previous experience.

“You did so well, Vitya, you were absolutely gorgeous, so well behaved,” Yuuri kept up a constant stream of praise while he worked on the rope, making sure Victor would know it was him. “You were enthralling to watch, sweetheart, the way you responded to me, the _noises_ you made. You're stunning,” Yuuri said with feeling, finally getting the last of his legs free.

Chris was standing nearby with a blanket and a bottle of water, and handed them over with a silent smile. Everyone had been instructed not to address Victor directly until he had the blindfold off. Yuuri was glad to see them respecting it. Not that he would have let them in the room if he thought there was a chance they wouldn't. He accepted the supplies with a grateful tip of his head, giving Chris the scissors to take out of sight.

“Ok, it's time to roll over on your back... Excellent, you're so good, Vitya, so good,” Yuuri said, petting him and rubbing his hands over the indentations left on his skin from the harness. “Alright sweetheart, I'm going to take the blindfold off,” Yuuri prepared him, “Close your eyes.”

Victor nodded, still breathing fairly heavily though the scene was over.

Yuuri gently removed the covering.

“Go slow, Vitya, there's no rush,” he said, watching Victor's eyes blink and shutter again.

“I'm going to help you sit up, hold onto me, ok?” Yuuri added.

Victor clung to him, burying his face in Yuuri's neck without prompting. He breathed a heavy, relaxed sigh as soon as he was properly in Yuuri's lap. With one arm, Yuuri pulled the blanket over Victor's back right away, knowing he'd be cold. He made long, sweeping strokes over his sub's back for a few minutes, just letting him acclimate.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Yuuri asked, giving the corner of his jaw a kiss since it was the closest available skin.

“Pretty incredible,” Victor sighed.

“I'm really happy you enjoyed it,” Yuuri told him, “Can you drink some water now?”

“Yeah. That would be great,” Victor agreed.

Yuuri opened the bottle for him, helping Victor hold it to his lips. He wasn't shaky, but was still a little unfocused. After Victor came to the rest of the way, their friends offered their praises on the scene. Victor's smile was a little lighter and a little happier after each one, until he was beaming in Yuuri's lap.

Yuuri was going to spend the rest of his life coaxing that beautiful heart-shaped smile out of him.

“Are you hungry, sweetheart? I can send for our food now, if you're ready,” Yuuri asked.

Victor nodded, “That would be great, I'm starving!”

Yu-topia's business had picked up so much with his parents' modifications to this banquet hall, and their willingness to accommodate the lifestyle, that they'd had to hire additional workers at the inn.

“Phichit, would you tell them we're ready to eat?” Yuuri asked, tipping his head toward the doorway. For an event of this size, a worker was stationed outside the door. To fetch anything the participants needed and also to keep unwanted guests out, just in case. Phichit saluted and made a bee line for it, and Yuuri could hear him saying that the Katsuki-Nikiforov's would like their meal now.

“Ready for clothes?” Yuuri said to his sub, thinking to get him dressed before the food was brought in.

Victor gave a little put-upon huff, “I suppose.”

Yuuri chuckled, at least he could be assured Victor was well and truly out of sub space from that.

“I'm all oily though,” Victor continued, fake pouting and batting his eyelashes at Yuuri.

“We'll get you cleaned up properly after dinner, sweetheart, and then you'll get your reward for being _good_ ,” Yuuri whispered in his ear.

“Mmm, deal,” Victor purred. “You know, Yuuri, it's a shame I can't to _this_ professionally once I retire from skating...”

“I would have paid to be here tonight,” Chris chimed in.

“This is not a conversation we are having right now,” Yuuri said, immediately putting the brakes on that, “Right now, Victor is getting dressed.”

Victor pulled on some comfortable pants and a shirt, accepting Yuuri's help even though he didn't really need it at this point. He still wanted to be close to his dom though, so he pressed right back up against Yuuri's side once he was clothed.

“Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure you'll be amazing at it!” Bertrand said encouragingly.

“Thanks!” Victor went back to beaming, “I suppose there's no rush though. We might as well let the advertising offers for figure skating die down before trying to pursue anything else.”

The conversation was derailed by the arrival of their food, with Hiroko bringing it in herself.

“Mama!” Victor grinned, clasping his hands over his heart, “I did so good!”

“Of course you did!” Hiroko beamed back, putting bowls of katsudon down in front of each of them, “It's so great when you boys come to visit!”

They talked for a bit, but Mama Hiroko was pulled away to help some other customers a few minutes later. It was alright, they'd be here for a week after all. Yuuri's family had supported him through thick and thin, through all the ups and downs of his career. The least he could do was rent out the facilities they now offered when he and Victor decided they were ready to try a more in-depth public scene.

Georgi and his new girlfriend had a lot of questions about sub space for Victor, so Yuuri focused back on the conversation around them. His sub was happily the center of attention for a good hour after that, talking and laughing with their friends. Yuuri participated too of course, but he let Victor shine as he was meant to.

After dinner was finally over, Yuuri took Victor to get washed up and soak in the hot springs for a while. It was a routine both of them had missed. Then they made their way back to Yuuri's old room, the only one left unoccupied at the inn. As soon as the door slid closed behind them, Victor plastered himself over Yuuri's back.

“Do I get my reward now?” he asked, nuzzling his dom's neck.

Yuuri smiled, knowing there was no chance Victor would have forgotten something like that. “Yes, of course, sweetheart. Up on the bed,” he instructed.

Victor climbed right on and lay himself out, anticipation written in his every movement. Yuuri undressed him lovingly, giving him plenty of kisses and a few nips here and there.

“Mm, is this my reward?” Victor asked as Yuuri sucked on his neck, stroking him slowly to hardness.

“No, not this,” Yuuri said, smiling against his skin. He moved down between Victor's legs, trailing kisses all the way, paying extra attention to the marks left from the rope. Yuuri reached for the lube, coating his fingers and sliding one easily inside his husband.

“ _Oh_ ,” Victor sighed, “Is _this_ it?” he asked with a cheeky smile.

“Not yet,” Yuuri said, smiling back. He leaned down and took Victor's length into his mouth, causing a happy, drawn out noise to leave his sub. Victor's hips rocked underneath him, seemingly torn between thrusting up into his mouth or down into his fingers.

“This has _got_ to be it. _God_ , Yuuri,” Victor said as he clutched at the sheets.

Yuuri worked him a little longer, getting three fingers in him and making sure his dick was rock hard.

“Nope, still not your reward,” Yuuri finally replied, pulling off him with a pop.

Victor whined, both for the implication and the loss of stimulation.

“On your knees, sweetheart,” Yuuri told him, helping guide Victor into position.

His sub spread his knees for him, arching his back prettily the way he knew Yuuri liked.

“ _This_ , is your reward,” Yuuri leaned down, whispering in Victor's ear. Then Yuuri slid inside him with one achingly slow thrust, sealing their hips together for a moment while Victor adjusted.

“Oh... Oh fuck,” Victor moaned, pressing back against him.

Yuuri set a quick pace once Victor was ready, wanting to let the man come quickly after having been aroused all night. From the tone of his shouts, Victor seemed surprised, and then _enraptured_ that Yuuri was going right for it. As his dom, Yuuri loved seeing the pleasure build and build and build in his sub, until he became almost desperate with it. Victor came hard in less than ten minutes, body jolting with aftershocks from his dom's thrusts. Yuuri pulled out of him before he could get overly sensitive though. With quick strokes, he worked himself until his own orgasm let him paint Victor's ass with stripes of come, mimicking their earlier scene.

Victor groaned again beneath him.

Yuuri pulled him to the side with him as he laid down, spooning up behind his precious sub and worrying about the mess later.

“God, Yuuri, your cock is the _best_ reward,” Victor sighed happily.

“It is, isn't it?” Yuuri chuckled, holding him close.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The commercial began with a closeup of a huge four poster bed, with rumpled silk sheets pushed to the floor. The next shot was a pale calf being wound in rope, only it and the arms doing the tying being visible. Bright red cording was skillfully knotted by black sleeves with blue diamond cufflinks. Light glinted off a wedding ring. The camera panned away, coming back in on the same subjects, but with the rope crossing over the man's chest instead. Then it showed a shot of the finished wrapping of red, encasing arms that were bound together behind him. His silver haired head tipped back, as if in ecstasy, as the scene faded out.

Lastly, an unbound Victor looked into the camera, his torso bare, a single strand of red dangling loosely around his neck.

“Carmichael's,” he said, smiling seductively. “The _gold standard_ in rope,” then he winked.

Just before the camera faded out, that same arm from before reached forward, grabbing the ends of the rope and changing Victor's body language _completely_ in one smooth pull.

It cut to black as Victor's eyes widened.

 

 

“They _paid_ you to film this?” Chris asked in disbelief.

“No. But we did get free rope out of it,” Yuuri explained.

“This is soft porn,” Chris grinned, _still_ in disbelief.

“There was nothing _soft_ about it,” Victor rebutted with a knowing look.

Both men glanced at Yuuri, expecting him to have a reaction to that. When he noticed them looking, he raised an eyebrow.

“What? He's not wrong...”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Victor's hands were bound in front of him, kneeling on a soft cushion at Yuuri's feet. His dom was sitting on their couch, running his fingers through Victor's hair. His sub's cheek rested on Yuuri's leg, his eyes closed blissfully. Makkachin and their new puppy, Izyum, were asleep on the floor around Victor, having immediately assumed he was down there to cuddle. Which he sort of was.

Yuuri kept playing with Victor's hair as he read to him out of a book of Japanese poems. His husband wanted to keep up with the language, though Yuuri wasn't sure how much this particular activity helped with that... He certainly wasn't going to complain, in any case. It was quiet in their apartment, aside from the sound of Yuuri's voice. Pale winter sunlight streamed in through the windows. Victor sighed occasionally in contentment, never once opening his eyes.

A text came in on Yuuri's phone. He was able to tell at a glance that it was from Yurio.

//You're not 'in the middle' of anything right now, are you?// the teen wanted to know.

Yuuri set the book down for a second, so he could keep touching Victor and still reply.

//Yes. Why?// he sent back.

//GROSS don't reply to me while you're doing kinky shit!!!//

Yuuri rolled his eyes fondly at the boy's dramatics.

//Did you need something?// he replied.

//Let me know when you're done so I can come over and play with Iz// was the text he got.

//Ok, will do :) // Yuuri told him, setting the phone aside with a chuckle afterward.

“Is our time up?” Victor asked him, nuzzling into Yuuri's thigh.

“No, sweetheart, we've got plenty of time left.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (◎_◎;) = confused  
> (×_×;）= dead  
> (;-_-)ノ = surrender  
> (*ﾟﾛﾟ) = surprised  
> (ノД`)・゜・。= crying  
> (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ = flips over table  
> ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) = puts table back down  
> (ง︡’-‘︠)ง = fight  
> （人´∀`*） = in love
> 
>  
> 
> Ok, but like, Victor calling Hiroko “Mama” makes my heart weak? Also, for a non-sexual scene, I figured what better thing to replace the 'high points' of the event with than Yuuri getting Victor to call out his name? ;)  
> In theory, Izyum (ee-ZYUM) = raisins in Russian, according to the internet :P  
> I hope I didn't forget to wrap up anything you guys were still wondering about?... If so, feel free to imagine it going however you want, lol. I kind of just threw together every scene I had left imagined for them at the end there, and called it good, so timeline = ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Give Me a Reason](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961189) by [Droewyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Droewyn/pseuds/Droewyn)




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